A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend an i have been dating for eleven months at seven months we moved in together we argued alot i found out he was using drugs we decided to move out and then i told his parents. his friends all hate me for what i did.he is now an out patient in rehab for the next nine weeks we broke up for two weeks and just recently got back together.His friends come first in everything and i hardly see him i just don't see the point in staying in this relationship cause i'm not much part of it anymore his always with his friends or playing sport and he doesn't invite me.i just can't see myself with anyone else and this is my first real relationship and i do love him.please help
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (9 January 2009):
 You know what? I think you've done your job with this fella, now it's time to quit focusing on picking up the pieces of his broken life and focusing on yours. You did well, you helped him out a lot, but what has he done for you? It seems like you're pulling most of the weight in this relationship.
I think it's time for you to peace out and find a fella who will want to spend lots of time with you and will show you his appreciation for all you do.
A
female
reader, sarcy24  +, writes (9 January 2009):
 Personally I think it is time to move out and go back home. You have helped this guy enormously and he is just messing about. You are clearly far more mature mentally than he is and you are ready for a loving proper relationship, he clearly is not. The friends and sport thing can be very important to some men and often this will continue through their twenties until they get some kind of reality shock - normally that all their friends are dropping out because they are getting married and moving on with their lives. I know you love him but it does not appear that he is able to sustain a relationship on equal terms and I think you will probably end up getting ground down and disillusioned generally by his behaviour. I would go home for a while if that is possible and maintain an interest from afar for the time being. It also might just wake him up a bit! All the best,
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2009): Just the fact that you told his parents and that he is went to rehab shows that you care for him, what I would like to know is how did he take going to rehab? And these friends his hanging out with now are these the same friends his been doing drugs with before rehab and do you know if he’s still using?
Sweetheart you say this is your 1st real relationship… if this man does not want to change even after he has been given the opportunity to, then its better you leave him, it will hurt definitely but it will hurt more living and being with a man who is self-destructive if for any reason he is making an attempt to change his ways, and be a better boyfriend to you great, but he needs to make that effort, drugs (addiction) is a cruel thing it steals from you, and most of the time it steals that which you love the most,
Be very very careful coz you don’t want to be dragged down with him do you? If he is not willing to change for you, then there is something seriously wrong with him.
Good luck and keep us posted please
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