A
male
age
41-50,
*ybrus
writes:Have you ever done something embarrasing during a makeout session or during intercourse (sex)? ok this is suppose to be fun so share with other people the most embarrasing or funny thing that happened ill go first and feel free to add your stories. Well here is my story. my first kiss I ever had I was lik 10 and I had a cold n a very runny nose and me and my girlfriend lets call her alex. well alex and me got close next to eachother and I went in for the kiss then I sneezed and shit load of green sticky mess of snot was on me and a lil some how landed on her face. would u believe she called me disgusting n said she was going to walk herself home lol. your turn. oh and she told everyone at skool wat happen. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2011): I've got a few that somewhat related to being middle aged yet passionately involved with a wonderful man also middle aged:
1. My man is 52, I'm 50 and we enjoy oral sex especially now as intercourse is not always instantly doable and foreplay is so wonderful with oral included. I'm in 'mid' menopause and never know when my period comes now and once during foreplay he was 'close encounter' gazing, caressing and fingering my vagina (as he likes to do) then he pulled out a bloody finger!
I'd had no usual 'warning' cramps indicating my period starting and I was mortified! We don't do sex during period so oral upon me was canceled... Yet, he was really understanding and we laughed about the 'surprise'. I went and put in a tampon and we continued extended foreplay with me giving him some great head and days later when off my period he returned the favor double time. Ooh, weee!
2. Another time I was giving him head and got heavy into the fervent rhythm of that particular session and got a charlie-horse stain in my leg and almost fell off the low stool I was sitting on (I can't do it on my knees due to problems with one knee). We stopped for a minute, I got my bearings, extended the cramped leg and -- we giggled and continued on.
3. Nearly sliding off the bed: Neither of us is are thin or too flexible and we were into the 'in and out' having found a perfect pitch but I was half on, half off the bed, then started to completely come off the mattress. Had to jerk out of position to keep from tumbling off. I re-center my self back to the middle of the bed -- had a fart while doing so... then we kissed and got back deal-eo! LOL!
4. Once we tried to do it in a wooden dining room chair with me bent over it and him from behind getting me vaginally, then the chair stated really creaking from the strain of two large people upon it. LOL! Then the chair started to pitch backward which startled both of us! Well we gave up after that and resumed activity in our sturdy bed. LOL!
These things happen during lovemaking. It's just life, not perfect. Nothing to take too seriously, as you love the one your with (hopefully).
A
female
reader, dudeitsanna +, writes (19 September 2010):
Okay, So I was with this guy that I really liked and one thing led to another and before I knew it we were making out. It was pretty awesome at the time until I noticed that I couldn't really breath very well and I had to stop and I realized I was having an asthma attack. So I had to have him get my mom while I tryed to find my inhaler. He never came over again.
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A
female
reader, darkledemon  +, writes (6 July 2009):
 pins and needles in my feet during sex!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): well years ago the vaginal fart happened to me, but i just acted like nothing happened. my hb was aware but also said nothing. hasn't happened in such a long time. i won't be embarrassed this time around though.
heard this on the radio a few weeks back- electricity outages is a norm in our area. woman said she and her bf were doing it in the dark. he was giving her oral sex, eating her out . next things the lights came back on and her father was standing in the lounge looking at them. bf has continued for the next few moments while she tried to tell him that her father was watching them. death defying moment for her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): Calling her by my ex's name when things were particularly hot and heavy. I still cringe ...
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A
female
reader, Spoonage +, writes (1 July 2009):
Every question that is posted goes through a monitoring process where they make sure it is appropriate. If they had a problem with it, it wouldn't be on here.Sex: My ex and I were pounding away and I was in an awkward position and all of the sudden I queef'd (vaginal fart). I blushed and he laughed and laughed. Unfortunately for me, a lot of air was in there so when I got up to put my pants back on, a couple more came loose. I wanted to cry, but instead I laughed.Kissing: I was playing around kissing my ex all over his face. Well, I turned around for a second then whipped back around to plant another one on him, but he'd moved positions. Instead of kissing him, I smashed the side of my head into his nose and shattered it.
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A
male
reader, Harry Castle +, writes (1 July 2009):
 Ok, I give in...I had the miseries when I wrote that, and concede that you are right - some comic relief IS welcome!See what trouble you got me into, Kelly!Chillie juice stays on the fingers for ages, and if you want to go for a pee after.......Another thing none to adviseable - Vic (Vapout Rub, for those in the US) instead of Vaseline on a condom!It didn't happen to me, but to a colleague years ago. She was young and tight, so he lubricated the condom and of course couldn't feel that it was red hot....As soon as he entered her, she screamed her head off and thrust him clean across the room - then rushed to sit in the bath and scrub herself.We all worked at the same place, and she didn't speak to him for weeks, but the story got around!Harry.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): I slept with a guy who I liked and had been d=seeing for a few months a while back. I was giving him head and just as he had an orgasam he farted in my face and laughed about it.......what a PIG!!!
It was so disgusting and I never want to see him again!!!!!!!!
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A
male
reader, cybrus +, writes (1 July 2009):
cybrus is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyea I meant to ask this question to be fun and look at your embarrasing moments then have a good laugh about them. sorry if this has offended anyone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): Kelly: Its just a bit of fun to have on the site.
And in answer to your question in sex once my boyfriend was on top and he pulled out at the end and we had been at it for a while and when he pulled out i let out this massive and i mean massive vagina fart! he just burst out laughing whilst i lay humiliated. i laughed in the end though.
another one which is even worse is where I was giving him a blowjob and i went too deep and vomited all over his testicles! he screamed that it burned and ran into the shower whilst i lay laughing my head off.
another one is him pulling out at the end and id really needed the toilet all the way through and when he pulled out really suddenly at the end i accidentally peed all over him.this was in the beginnning of our relationship so i was really worried on how hed react but he was just like `did you just pee on me?` and i made up some story like it was girl ejaculation and he seemed to believe it. i told him after two years together the truth but he refuses to believe my story and says its the girl ejaculation.i think he just doesnt want to believe it was pee.
Yeah i seem to have bad luck in sex
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (1 July 2009):
 This question is a totally fun question! I'm with Troubled, this is kind of a nice break from the usual stuff we get. Sometimes I get sick of the same ol', same ol'. After answering more than 2000 questions, I'm happy to see something new! You can answer it if you please or just move on to actual questions and issues... but I don't think that it's troublesome to have this question up!
But moving on... most embarrassing moment. It's got to be learning the lesson that everyone SHOULD know and yet, me the idiot didn't even think of it. My fella and I love to cook, and this night we were cooking Thai red curry. With coconut milk and bamboo shoots, shrimp and chicken, the whole nine yards. I digress (the food that night was DELICIOUS). Anyhow, when we cook Thai, we like it spicy. So I spent a good chunk of the evening cutting up chilis and red hot peppers... the juice was all over my hands, but I rinsed them off and forgot all about them. That is, until after dinner, when things got frisky (spicy food will do that to ya), hands were all over the place and all the sudden, we started burning... at first it was sort of sexy and tingly, but then it turned into death by fire. We're both hopping around like morons and jumped into a cold shower together.
Oh, it was awful.
But dinner was really, really delicious and at least we learned a valuable lesson...
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): Hey Harry, I've got news for you. This question does not prevent someone else from asking their question or getting it answered. I don't believe that this site has a daily quota for the number of questions asked. Sometimes a laugh does more to lift ones spirit that serious discussion. Lighten up dude.
Now to the question:
I used to live in the country by a stream. One clear and moonless summer night we decided that it would be fun to go and have sex by the stream. It was about midnight and we went down by the stream. We got into the foreplay and then got partially undressed. Well, just as we started the misquotes arrived. We never did finish and we were scratching our arses for a week. I must have gotten a dozen bites.
I was with a new girlfriend and she was a great kisser. Well, just as she started to snog me, she farted. Neither one of us missed a beat and said nothing.
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A
male
reader, Harry Castle +, writes (30 June 2009):
well, we all have our stories, and good fun though it is to share, Kelly is right, it's not why we are here nor what this site is for.
Sorry to be a misery, but you would be taking up space and time that genuine people might need.
Harry.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): We were camping with a large group of friends when we started to get busy. Unfortunatly for us we happened to be rolling around in poison ivy, there was no way we were talking our way out of that one.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): One guy I was dating let out a big fart at exactly the moment I kissed him. It was awful. I pretended like nothing happened, only for him to do it again :(
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (30 June 2009):
 This is a site for people with relationship problems!
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