A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi there,what do you think with that I think girls and boys should have sex after getting married(for the first time)no sex before marriage what is your opinion? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): I think that Honeypie said it very well, although I don't agree with her 100%. I think that both men and women who sleep with many partners (like dozens) are sluts. That doesn't mean that they are necessary bad people or won't make excellent partners, but it does raise cause for concern about their future behavior.
If you both want to wait until marriage then that is probably the best decision for you, although I think it is best to know if 2 people are sexually computable before getting too far into the relationship. That doesn't mean to sleep with them on the first few dates, but to know before committing to marriage. There are many couples who are unhappy because of sexual incompatibility. Sex is very important to a marriage or any committed relationship.
It is ultimately up to the couple involved and no one else how long they wait.
A
female
reader, TheAgonyAunt  +, writes (25 June 2009):
 I believe that its ok to have sex at any time when you think that you are mature enough and you love that person. But you should always think before you do and ALWAYS use some form of contreception. I had sex at 14 and do not regret it as I was totally comfortable and I know that he was not after me for me body, he loves me for me.I am still with my boyfriend now. =)
It is a personal choice and different people are ready at different times and they should not be judged for doing it too early aslong as they are safe and have basic knowledge of sex.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoh,I was thinking of this thank you for your answers its help me too I thought about that too. after marriage this is what I want.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your answers
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female
reader, natasia +, writes (24 June 2009):
 I think that's fine. I think that there are a lot of good reasons for only sleeping with someone you truly love, after you are married. I think there are also a lot of good reasons for not sleeping around before then.
So yes, I think it's fine. Good, even. Makes everything worth more.
(Strange thing - I didn't think quite like this before I had a daughter, but now I have one, that's what I think!)
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (24 June 2009):
 I really don't think I can say it any better than HoneyPie. She pretty much said what I would have said, only much better. So I second HoneyPie, hear hear!!
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 June 2009):
 I believe in having sex with someone you KNOW, TRUST, RESPECT and LOVE. But I don't believe in waiting for marriage to have sex. To me SEX should matter. I understand rationally that it is a basic human need to "multiply", but I also understand that we have evolved.
I think too many young people would enter into marriages that are ALL wrong for them. Just like men used to marry a women if they had knocked her up, because it was the "right" thing to do. What would have been the RIGHT thing to do was to either NOT have sex or to USE protection.
I have the utmost respect for people who choose to wait til marriage.
I also respect the people who believe taking the "future spouse" for a "test ride" before marriage.
And for those who might have a few partners before they met "The One".
What I don't PERSONALLY believe in is that more is better when it comes to sexual partners.
Nor do I believe in having sex just to have sex. Or casual one-night stands.
I don't believe a guy with MANY sexual partners is a stud. Nor do I believe he would potentially be better at it - I have known for a fact that surely can be wrong..
I don't believe a women with many sexual partners is a slut. But I do think she is selling herself short, just like I do with a guy with many many partners.
It all comes down to the values and moral you were either raised with or learned on your own. Some have it from their faith. It is, very personal and very diverse.
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female
reader, ladydela +, writes (24 June 2009):
 well i believe you should have sex when your ready and your sure you guys are in love doesnt matter if your married or not
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009): I won't have sex before marriage and my boyfriend is completely with me if this is what I want he's agree. so you do what you want.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009): I think it's best to have sex with as many partners as you feel comfortable with before marriage. That way you'll get the multiple partner thing out of the way and sow all your wild oats before marriage and then abstain from going outside the marriage for sex. If you only have one partner you'll always wonder what it would be like with someone else and be tempted to go and find out, which wouldn't be good for any marriage.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009): I think thats nice and all. But its 2009 and its not very common. I think its ok for people to explore their sexuality before marriage. However if two people wait all the power to them. Personally wouldnt be my choice!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009): Everyone has their own views on this, depending on many factors, religious background being one of the more common ones. I personally don't have a problem with sex before marriage, whilst at the same time I have a lot of respect for those who prefer to wait. I would never try and push my views onto anyone else, and would expect the same from anyone else. It has to be your own decision, but it gives you no right to judge others who choose to do something different. If you believe with sex after marriage, then goo for you.
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female
reader, betty_black +, writes (24 June 2009):
 Well i believe that you shouldnt give yourself to just anyone, its too personal to just throw yourself at someone. But i dont believe you have to be married before you take the plunge. Its just about having that love and trust there first, not necesserely a ring on the finger and a piece of paper, just that chemistry and trust.
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female
reader, identifiable +, writes (24 June 2009):
 Well opinion will be biased wth religion and other factors. i personally believe sex before marraige is acceptable, i believe that being with someone who you are commited to and love is good enough for me. Finding the one is tough in this life time and assuming your marrying them they would be the one , therefore waiting to have sex till your married can be a mistake as you may never be married and because of this deprived yourself of sex or children etc. Sex shouldnt be viewed as something to give your partner that i do not agree as giving away your innocence as a present makes me feel sick. It should happen when a man or woman is ready. Its a natural evolutionary thing and saying sex after marraige is more good or anythign assuming its better is narrow minded as it victimises rape victims and some religions. Also some people dont believe in marraige.... im fully aware you havent implied this just my overall opinion. hope it enlightened you x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009): I agree with you. If you love the person then you should be able to wait till after you get married. This will also make it a more special experience.
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female
reader, xxbaybeegal +, writes (24 June 2009):
 I think that you should have sex after marriage for a lot of different reasons.
-I'm a christian and christians are supposed to have sex after marriage
-If that person really loved you they would wait til you got married and then have sex with you
-At least you know that you will be together for some time if you get married
-When i have my sex ed class i always hear about girls on dvd's that wish they had waited and now there virginity is gone and there is nothing they can do about it (unless they fake it)
-Lots of girls who sleep with loads of boys are labled sluts,whores ect and i don't want one of those
-Virginity is something special and you can either choose to wait for the right person or just give it to someone that doesn't deserve it.
Loads of people choose to have sex anyway so i mean it's up to you how you lose yours.
These are just my opinions
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009): I'm only 15, but I wear a purity ring. No sex before marriage. But at times it can be hard to uphold. It's up to you.
-GG
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