A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:heyyy please help!well im a virgin and ive never really had a proper boyfriend, and tonight i am going camping with my friends and this guy adam who is a year older then me but not a virgin. we know each other a bit, but mostly though facebook, texts and phone calls we havent met each other more then about 5 times. he is coming with us withought a friend even though he knows none of my friends and i really like him and hes been sending me texts asking what are we going to do in the tent as it is just me and him in the tent on our own, i dont mind if anything happens and yes i do feel ready for sex, but i am worred about it hurting, or me not being good enough, or me looking horrible naked im really scared. i know something is going to happen, and i want it too ui just am a bit scared, he is a really nice guy though and cares about me a lot, so is this the right thing to do im looking forward to it but i am slightly scaredany help would be much appreciated thanks!!!xxx
View related questions:
facebook, ready for sex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (24 June 2009):
 Ugh, I would HATE to lose my virginity in the woods!!! You can't even go to a nice, clean bathroom afterwards to clean up and think about everything that just happened!!
Let me tell you this, sweetness. Now some chick have a great first time. It's wonderful, magical, painless and amazing. But most ladies do NOT have this experience, I certainly didn't! The first time is usually the WORST time. With the right person, and with lots of practice it gets better and better and then you start to see what all the fuss is about. But, the first time? Messy, for me it was PAINFUL and it won't help if you also are feeling insecure about your body. No wonder, he's never even seen you naked? Have you ever kissed or been together at all? That will just make this first time that much more awkward and weird. Being scared is not what you should go into this moment feeling like... you should feel amazing, safe, warm, confident. You should be smiling the entire time, laughing, experiencing.
I really think that if you go through with this, it will be the crappiest virginity memory ever. I think it will feel awkward and just not right. I think having all of your friends around will be bizarre, knowing that they could see or hear you. You'll be just trying to get to know this guy for real and sleeping with him? And if you're looking for an actual solid relationship, this is not a good foot to kick off on!
If you do it, be safe and make sure that you feel really 100% right about it. But, I would definitely recommend waiting. Why waste a great moment on this guy you barely know in the middle of the woods? That sounds like the beginning of a horror movie, not the end to a romantic comedy. Good luck, my dear!!!
A
female
reader, fireangel +, writes (24 June 2009):
Well first off you really dont want to do it with a guy you barely know. you want it to be special. not out in the woods where other will hear you because then you wont know how to react to the other people around you and when you are off with someone by yourself that did hear you they will prolly question you and then you will feel either obligated to answer them or you wil start to feel embarrested and you dont want that. trust me get to know this guy before you do anything. let him now that you are a virgin and that you are not ready yet and if he cares enough he will wait for you to be ready. it is the most wonderful thing when a guy says i will wait. then you know that you can trust them and when you are truely ready you will know. give yourself a chance an wait dont jump into something exspecially with a guy you barely know.
...............................
A
female
reader, M.E.V.A +, writes (24 June 2009):
 1. If you know that you don't want to have sex when the time comes, tell him when you can be alone with him , be it by phone or face to face (preferably face to face). Don't keep putting it off or you might not get the chance to tell him and it will be too late.
2. If he really likes you, he will wait.
Tell him straightforward that you are not ready to have sex. It will be harder to do this when you are making out, so just tell them at the start. If he truly likes you(by that i mean YOU), he will respect your wishes.If he is still trying to force you to have sex, leave right away.
3. Give reasons if you have them. Reasons help, but the fact that you don't want to have sex should be enough for him. Wanting to save yourself for marriage and risks such as pregnancy and STDs are two very common reasons for not wanting to have sex.
4. If he can respect your wishes, the relationship(or whatever it means to you) can continue. However, if he doesn't respect your wishes, it is best to find someone else that does. (And you will find one, don't worry.)
Tips
* Communication is #1 in a relationship. Before you get into the bedroom, your partner should know whether or not you are ready to have sex.
* Give them clues that you're not ready. Tell them things like "slow down" or "can't we just talk." If your partner continues, pull away and tell them that you're serious.
* It is your responsibility as a partner to tell your partner if you have an STD, allergy, or something else that would change the relationship.
* Just because you've had sex once doesn't mean you need to keep having it. All that matters is what you want to do.
* You don't need to have sex with your partner. After all, if all they care about is sex, your relationship will never work.
* You don't need to tell your partner your sexual history. It is in the past and it is your call on whether to tell them or not. But, if you have had previous sexual partners, it is a good idea to be checked for STDs. If caught early, most STDS can be treated and cured. If you find that you do have an STD though, it is your responsibility as a partner to tell your partner about it. They have the right to know.
* Purchase something you can use to defend yourself (i.e. pepper spray), and/or take a self-defense class. If worse comes to worse, you will be able to defend yourself and escape. You don't want to become a victim of rape.
* Sex is a wonderful thing, worth waiting for. If you rush into it too fast it is not as great as when you want it.
Warnings
* Leave if things start to get out of hand. No matter how well you think you know your partner, there is a chance they won't take no for an answer and rape you.
* Be careful how you handle the relationship afterwards. If your partner loves you, they will wait for you.
Things You'll Need
* Your wits. Know exactly what you want and what you DON'T want. Be sure you know how to communicate those desires. Alcohol or other substances can cloud your judgments
.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 June 2009):
 You don't really sound ready.
You sound like you WANT to be ready in order to please this guy. You aren't a very self confidant girl - having sex with an almost stranger won't cure that, honey. Only you can learn how to be more confidant. Starting with having some self-respect for your self and your body.
To be even more frank I think it is a BADDDDD idea to have sex with this guy. You BARELY know him. Please consider this. TAKE your time to get to know a guy. Specially the guys you intend on having sex with. You have waited this long and stayed a virgin. Make it count for something.
WHEN you do find a guy, who is willing to take the time to get to know YOU, it really doesn't matter how in-experienced you are sexually. If you take some time getting to know him, you will over time feel secure around him which in turn will build confidence.
It's ok to be shy and modest.
If you do decide to have sex, use protection. EVERY time.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM. Understand that. Kissing and making out can be quite hot. And be quite enough.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009): if he likes you then you will be good for him. just enjoy it and don't forget to use protection. x
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009): Firstly, if you were totaly ready then you wouldn't be scared and i also feel you should know him better.
But if you are intent that something will happen, just think, you're in a tent, so everybody around you will hear you. Do you really think that is something to remember from your first time. Everybody else knowing about it and hearing. It's not very personal or private.
...............................
|
