A
female
age
30-35,
*tupidcupid369
writes:So I hook up with a lot of guys, not as in have sex, but oral and makeout and stuff, a lot of my friends tell me I'm a slut, and they say that they're kidding, but I don't think they are. It could just be because they are prude, because I don't think of myself as a slut. Should I? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, hushkitty420 +, writes (17 May 2012):
Well what do you mean by "a lot"? I'd define myself as a 'prude' so I'd say a lot would be more than one guy a month (minimum!). (And yes, oral counts as sexual activity - however, I don't consider making-out to be in the same catagory... as long as saliva is the only fluid getting passed around you're okay in my prude book). I have a good friend who sounds very similar to you... and I have lots of friends who don't see anything wrong with sleeping around or "actively dating". I'm a wet-blanket as far as they're concerned though lol... but if it weren't for me they'd leave their coats, keys, and purses EVERYWHERE we went out and would have ended up with more than a few walk-of-shames the next morning (I only say that cuz they thanked me for running off the icky-coyotes lol). Bottom line is - if you wake up more days regretting what you've done than not you might wanna change your game-plan up a little bit. There's nothing wrong with being a tease! ;-)
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 July 2009):
 Sorry to burst your bubble but oral IS sex.
Though out your life you will be labeled by the people around you, as you are labeling other. They call you slut - you call them prudes..
FA ( Fatherly Advice) put it the best:
"Only if you yourself believe that what you are doing is wrong. "
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (8 July 2009):
 I think your friends are being a little mean by calling you names like that, but it does seem like maybe they're a little worried about you. Making out with lots of guys, okay. But oral sex with a lot of guys is totally dangerous and could earn you a reputation - especially with the guys. Maybe they'll think that you're "easy" or that you aren't the kind of girl that someone dates, just that someone hooks up with.
I would be very careful with the oral sex that you're having - you can get any number of STI's, which could screw up your whole future. I have had two friends contract herpes through oral sex, thinking they would be totally fine, that there was no risk involved. But unfortunately there was a risk involved and it sucks for them!!
http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/std/oral/
There is some information on how to keep yourself protected. Keep yourself totally safe and nobody can call you slutty, just smart. I think it's time for your friends to be honest with you, tell you if they're worried or if they're just being jerks. At least tell them that they're hurting your feelings...
Good luck, sweetness!!!
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (8 July 2009):
 People are different. How boring would life be if everyone had the same tastes, needs, desires, etc. Even professionals will not be pinned down to what is a "normal" frequency for sexual activities. Some people are happy with once a month or less. Some want it every day. When we use labels like "Prude" or "slut" or "player" we are making value judgments about people based on one aspect of their personality. For me Sex is a fun game played between consenting adults, and a means of building a strong relationship with another person. Because of that, I choose to have only one partner. You have not made that choice. So am I a prude? I don't see my self as one, I simply have chosen to limit that one aspect of my sexual life. I believe in being adventurous in positions, styles, places, playacting, just not partners. You limit yourself to Making out and oral sex, but have less restrictions on partners. Does that make you Slutty? Only if you yourself believe that what you are doing is wrong.
FA
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009): to be honest making out with boys is not bad but giving oral sex to numerous men isn't a great thing to do. However, my best mate has slept and done stuff with a lot of guys and i wouldn't judge her its just something i wouldn't do. If you thought it was the right thing to do you wouldn't be on here asking if its "slutty". Its your life and its up to you and if you're happy doing it then fine.
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A
female
reader, Discover me +, writes (8 July 2009):
you see i can relate to that.but, when you go with alot if guys maybe you only make out, but do you think guys say that to there friends? or having oral if you do that to every guy you date someone calling you a slut is boung to happen.
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