A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 28 years old and I have never been single. I adore my boyfriend but I often feel like I am missing out on the time alone to learn about myself that everyone else but me seems to have had. I can never seem to make decisions about anything, I am always unsure. He tends to baby me as well, which has made me dependant. I know he is only trying to care for me, but it has effected me badly. I can't seem to do anything for myself. What should I do? I can't stop thinking about breaking free.Then there is also the physical side... I don't really feel the "urge" to be with him in that way any more, but I am horny all the time. Sorry to be rude.
View related questions:
horny Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): True male anon.. but hey.. if it's a mistake, then at least it's one she'll learn from! Better that than always be left unsatisfied from wondering what it'd be like to be alone in my opionion.
But it's always good to have different perspectives. It seems all of our aunts here have similar ways of thinking..
~SY.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): Here's a different perspective for the story you said; you'll break up guys, you'll move in different ways and meet new people. You will find it hard and ridiculous to start building relationships from the scratch. You won't be satisfied, you'll both think inside to get back to each other, but what would actually happen would depend on a huge number of factors and conveniences. Go figure!
...............................
A
female
reader, laura585  +, writes (23 June 2009):
You're right. Soul searching and "finding yourself" so to speak is a personal journey. If you've always had someone around your mind is focused on everyday life things as opposed to "who am I really?" and "what do I really want out of my life?" Leaving someone you are dependent on will be very difficult, but when you daydream about breaking free- its probably time. Be as honest as you can with yourself and with him in whatever decision you make. If you are truly not happy in your situation, dont let him talk you out of your choice. Make 1 choice completely on your own, and after that all the choices will be yours and you will find when you HAVE TO make your own decisions, and have no safety net to fall into if you mess up, then your decisions will be clear, and correct. It's a great feeling knowing you want something, working to get it, and being rewarded with your personal achievement in the end. :)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): Well, if he is taking care of you and babying you to the point where you feel like a child, then this has become a parent-child relationshiip. No wonder you are not sexually attracted to him any more.
If all other aspects of your relationship are good, you might try some counseling together to change the dynamics of your relationship and to help you learn how to be more on equal adult romantic partner terms....and the rest should take care of itself.
You are not wrong in wanting to be single, that may be the right answer for you, but no one here can tell you what to do...that is really for you to decide.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): You're not rude!
Who really has the right to come here and tell you that you're wrong or silly to want to be alone?
If you can't stop thinking of breaking free, then that alone is probably going to have an affect on your relationship anyway. It sounds like your reasons for wanting to break up with him are reasonable.
I don't believe you'll ever feel fully satisfied until you get your alone out of your system!
~SY.
...............................
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (23 June 2009):
 I think that if this is how you feel, you should go be by yourself and learn how to be independent and make decisions by your own. You don't want to settle into a relationship for the rest of your life and then find yourself having the urge for freedom later, when it's harder to break free.
I think it sounds like you're checking out of this relationship anyway. So, I would just go for it. Take a break and explore your life as a single woman!!
Good luck, sweetness!
...............................
|
