A
male
age
36-40,
*looo
writes:Me and my girlfriend have been together for three years, and we have been very in love with each other all this time, we used to do everything together, she even moved in with me. Two months ago she went to work in another country for 6 weeks and since she returned two weeks ago she started acting distant and cold to me. Yesterday she started crying out of the blue and when i asked her what was wrong she said that she doesn't love me anymore as she used to. She sais that she still loves me, she still wants to kiss and hold me, but much less then before. She is very confused and doesn't know what to do, but she wants to fix this, she doesn't want to break up, she wants things to be the same way the used to, but she just doesn't feel it...What should we do? Should she go live alone for a few weeks until she clears her head? She realized that she doesn't love me that much when she was away for a long time, wouldn't being away again make it even worse maybe? Please help me if u can i love her so much and i don't wanna lose her but i don't know what to do!P.S: we are supposed to take a trip to europe together in a couple of days, should we go and try to be together as a couple, or should we postpone it until she realizes what her feelings are?
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (25 September 2007):
 Postpone the trip. Move into separate houses/apartments and see if she can get her head on straight. My guess is, she didn't love you as much as she thought she did and being away from you made her realize it. Better to discover this now, than later. Good luck.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (25 September 2007):
 now when answering these questions, we may say some things that don't make sense, that you don't want to hear, or state possibilities, not probabilities. We don't know you and we go off the little bit of information you have provided to attempt to give direction.
First, go on the trip, you may need to get away to sort this out, a different environment, leaving your stresses at home, and working on this in a non threatening environment.
Second, this is where paragraph one comes in, so don't take it as an accusation, it's only information. She leaves for 6 weeks, within 2 weeks of being home, and being distant, she cries with this new information. Take out the new information of what you want to work on, and what do you have, distance + crying = guilt. Now she could be guilty because of feeling this way, or is there a (possibility) something happened during her six weeks of being gone which is causing this guilty feeling? If so, that can host the confusion as well.
I want the both of you to sit down and talk, get everything out in the open, if you have things you know can be improved tell her, and have her tell you what she feels caused this to begin heading south. If you know how each other feels, then you have a foundation to begin rebuilding the relationship both of you want.
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