A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I separated from my husband after years of feeling emotionally isolated from him because he never talks to me or shares his thoughts and feelings. A few years prior to this, I formed a bond with a male friend I had and now I realize I had an emotional affair with this man because I was so starved for a connection with someone. At the time, I tried to work on my marriage, we even went to counseling but my husband just can't seem to open up and share himself with me. He's extremely introverted. I don't think I even love him anymore, not like a wife should and I want to leave but I feel so guilty. Also, this new man is wonderful about sharing everything with me, but I worry that we'll have other problems and I'll just be trading one set of problems for another. Should I stay married, or leave my husband since it doesn't seem like he's capable of changing?
View related questions:
affair Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): Ok, heres some words of wisdom, because i have been there myself. The grass always looks greener on the other side, jump the fence, you may land in a pile of cow's poo. If you and your husband are over then end it. Spend some time on your own and then decide. Do not jump from one mess to another. I know you may think the new bloke is all you want but it is never that way when you come to live with them, i know i have been there. Be very careful. Look at your marriage and pick out the bad points then the good. Write them down. Can you talk to your husband? Talk things through with him, if not, then move on, get away and get divorced. But do not leave him because of the new bloke, that is fate. Live on your own for a time and clear your head. I eventually got away from the second bloke and lived on my own with my son for five years and it was great, a great time for self growth.
take care and keep in touch
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): A few words of wisdom:
"No matter how good he / she looks, there's always some other gal / guy who's fed up to the back teeth of putting up with his / her s**t".
Living with someone is a whole different ball game to being friends with them. Tread carefully.
Phil
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (25 September 2007):
 I would say stay married, but that's because I have a real high belief in marriage, what it means, and the vows I take very serious. But that's me not you. These decisions are yours to make. What I would worry about is this. Does this other man know you are married? If so, how many married women is he willing to open up and share everything with? Being an introvert is not bad. I quite enjoy being mainly introverted. Some of mine is self taught. I don't go out much, because people have no respect for others, so If I stay home, I avoid those contacts.
Can he change, everyone has the ability too. Even introverts. It begins with real heart to heart communication by you. He needs a clear understanding, not a she's just whining, picture of how this is affecting you in your relationship. Then you would both be in a position to negotiate change together.
Good luck, take care.
...............................
|
