A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 2 and a half years. Last night we had a big fall out because he thinks I've been sending him emails - when I haven't! And basically the argument was just that and picking at things till he finally said 'I don't want to go out with you, it's too much hassle' I'm really hurt because he's my first boyfriend, the only person I've ever had sex with and I really do love him and can't imagine never seeing him again :(.I don't know why I love him so much because sometimes he can be really abusive to me. All week he's been telling me how stupid I am, he's kicked me and kneed me to put bruises on my legs [although he hasn't done this for around 6 months] at one point he was on top of me on the floor strangling me and I couldn't breath. I know he doesn't mean to hurt me as much as he does but he's a really muscly 17 year old and doesn't really how much damage he actually does. Sometimes I just don't feel good enough for him and constantly worry someone better will come along, people do tell me they think I'm really pretty and stuff but I really don't believe them.I rang him earlier today and he just told me to leave him alone, so I did. He rung me aroung an hour ago for a little talk and tell me how he's thinking of applying for a job and said he might ring me later [even though I didn't ask him to]. Is he doing this to tease me or is he actually missing me? If he does dump me for good I'll feel alone because I don't really have friends who I can tell everything and just pop round to there house for no apparant reason. All my friends are usually with their boyfriends but one of my friends does ask me to go and look round town with her and stuff. My last set of friends bullied me and I was left on my own but my mum said because I try and be nice to everyone I get taken advantage of.I don't know how to cope with an early miscarriage I had last week. I was 6 weeks pregnant [if I count from my last period] and because of all the stress with my boyfriend I think that's what made me miscarry. I haven't even told him because I'm scared of what he'll say and I feel so bad about it and I don't want him to blame me.I'm really scared I'll never find anyone else and I think I'll be too scared to have sex with anyone else because of all the STD's. I'm even scared that whenever I do decide to have children I won't be able to go the full length of a pregnancy. I can't tell any of my family I was pregnant because they'll be so mad I put myself in the position of an unwanted pregnany but I was on the pill so it's beyond me how it happened and I'm not overweight so that can't be it.Sorry it's so long but I really needed to get it out.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mum2be +, writes (25 September 2007):
oh,baby! look, you need to get out of this relationship. I know you love him and i know how hard it is, but you need someone nice to be the father of your baby. I have miscarried before, and now have a beautiful baby girl, so i am sure you will be able to carry a baby to term.
I have just come out of an abusive relationship, where my bf used to hit me, spit at me,call me names and get his friends to do the same, and i waited until one of his friends raped me in front of him before i left.
This guy is not going to change, and will not make a good father to your babies. Please, for your own well being, leave him.
You need some support about your miscarriage, so use helplines, and tell a friend. Feel free to email me anytime, either on this site or my school addy.
all the best babe,
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (25 September 2007):
 Yes you'll find someone who'll love you and want to be with you just because you're you. Not with a pig like the one you were with. He broke it off because he is ending it. Telling you to leave him alone is a clear picture of that. Get counseling for your miscarriage, and for your self esteem.
The part you have to worry about is how you view his actions. Don't use the word "teasing" use the word "playing" He doesn't want to be around you, but I bet when he gets in the mood for sex, he knows who to call. Don't get yourself into become a booty call, and have no relationship. Some guys like just having people on the side they can call when they want some. I say people because if you're not home, or busy, he just might have someone else he can line up in your place.
His behavior tells me BE CAREFUL. Don't let your emotions get the best of you in making poor decisions. It's much better to let this one go, find someone who really wants to be with you, than it is to get played waiting for something to happen that may not.
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A
female
reader, cupidhelper +, writes (25 September 2007):
My friend's kid just got pregnant on the pill and her mother gave it her herself-- some women are fertile during their periods. since you're scared of STD's, use rubber until you're married. I had a bunch of flings and have only been with ONE man without a rubber-- my husband, and that was after we both waited 6 months after out last got tested!
Tell your Mom he's been abusive, you'll need help getting over him.
He's your first which makes it harder. also abusive people destoy your self-confidence and blame the abuse on you. You actually think you deserve to be hit, give him point for not doing it for 6 months, and he's muscular and can't help it. How did he's muscles cause him to accidently choke you?
He will kill you one day if you stay & yes, he's messing with you. Not to break-up with you again, but see how much he owns you. tell your mom you miscarried or at least see a doctor, you could have lingering medical problems.
You're only 16, high school kids bully other, especially girls. They hurt you self-estem making you cling to this Felon. That's what a man who hit a woman is: a criminal. consider yourself lucky you didn't have this man's child. If you hook up again, you will be made to feel so bad, you'll get pregnant again; either to stop the abuse or keep him from leaving. Dump him & call the police if he contacts you!
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