A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I need advice. I am still in love with my ex, and I know this, I tried to deny this but it's true. I think of him every minute of the day, and have for the past few years. We are on again off again...And He says he really loves me, but I can't get past the fact that when we broke up he went to the rebound girl... She tried to break us up in the beginning of our relationship.... He dumped her about a few months ago...He moved in with another girl, wasn't happy there, showed me a new picture of the girl, then pretended like he ripped the picture up. I found it two days later he only ripped around her body... to make me think he ripped the picture up.... why did he do this??? Why lie about ripping the girl's picture... he then dumped this girl and asked to come stay with me. And this past weekend he took me out, we happened to bump in to the rebounds sister, he was so excited. he begged me to just go along with everything and he flaunted me all in front of the sister, (by the way the sister knows all about me), was this to make the rebound jealous, or to show he really does care. I can't tell what is on this man mind... Does he want me, the new girl, or the rebound.... How do you know when someone is genuine... I find myself being really mean to him because I love him, but I don't understand him, and hates that he can't make up his mind.. What should I do....?? Also after a beautiful weekend I kicked him out of my house again, so he vows he is not going back to the rebound,and he didn't surprsingly. so he asked the new girl could he come back, she said yes... but what I don't understand is that if he loves me and will leave these women to see if me and him can make it, and I love him, how come no one is rational in the time of anger. Can he really have feelings for the rebound? Oh by the way we have a child together. Thanks in advance for your replies,
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007): RCN, I was starting to give up hope, I was starting to think I was a mean and selfish person for wanting better for myself. Thank You so much for responding to my question, you wisdom is much appreciated. I just have one last question how do you stop the feelings, how do you not worry about if he is happy with someone else?
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (26 September 2007):
 Do not allow him to come back. How do you expect him to be a good person to you, if he can't make up his mind. I sounds as if he has a comfortable triangle going on here. Just bounces from home to home and then repeats. You deserve better. I'm not discounting your love for him, or that he may have that for you. Down the road it may all fit together, but right now, his instability really shows.
You need to say NO the next time, not because you don't love him, but because you need to break this habit he is taking advantage of with you. The other girls need to do the same, but that's their decision. He needs to start taking responsibility for his actions, and needs to take control over his life and begin gaining stability. If he does get to that point, he may be someone you can look at, but until then he's going to keep to his ways, until he realizes it's not working, and that starts with you saying "that's enough, I'm not playing this game anymore, grow up then we'll talk".
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