A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so I have had a major crush on my best friend's brother. I've liked him since early spring, and over the summer I practically lived at their house (to hang out with my best friend).I've known him almost my entire life, and our families are practically identical. So we always have gotten along great.What I don't get though is if he likes me or not. When we're in a group of people that doesn't include his sister (my best friend) then we really hit it off and it seems to me like he's flirting. But when his sister is there, we still talk and all, but not nearly as much.And another weird thing is a rumor that was started while we were at camp. It's a church camp that his whole family and I (along with the rest of the youth group) went to. And while we were there, a couple of my campers started this rumor saying we were dating.. because they caught us talking for 5 minutes. And when the campers would bring that up, he never objected or denied anything, he just chuckled along with it and smiled. So I don't really get it. What do you think I should do? I've already told my best friend that I like her brother and she didn't really say anything, she just told me that it didn't bother her, and responded with "Don't worry about it, I used to like your brother too!" And that was the end of the conversation. So I'm very confused with that to do next. Should I try to pursue him, or get over him?There's many other stories that add to my question, so if you have any questions, please feel free to ask for clarification or more examples.Thanks!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): I've had a crush on my friend's brother for about a year and a half now. He is only 3 days younger then me and goes to the same school. Our families are very good friends so i see him often. i do talk to him but it's just friendly. I think he likes me too because he says my name in almost every sentence. we are never really alone with each other so i don't know what to do. How do i tell if he likes me or tell him that i like him?
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (26 September 2007):
 There's only one way to find out. Have your friend be your secret spy...lol that was a joke. It will come to you. That is wonderful with what you are doing in the church. I don't know how many questions you have read on here. I've decided to live my life single and just raise my children, and every time I come on to give advise, it reconfirms my reasons. lol
I wish you the best, and hope everything works out for you. Take care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes I go to church regularly and I'm a strong follower of Jesus Christ and saving myself for marriage. I do benefit a lot from church and youth group.
And trust me, I've been praying about this issue for months, and I've done a couple devotionals about relationships with different groups and I've especially been talking to my parents constantly about my confusion.
And that's a great idea about talking to my friend like that. I just wish I knew for sure if he likes me or not...
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (26 September 2007):
I think that must have happened.
So you say you go to church. Do you enjoy it? Do you get benefit from it? Did you think about taking some silent time, and praying over this issue?
I wish you luck with your choices. Let me give you this piece of advise. You said your fried doesn't mind? Say this "promise me, if i were to date your brother, we will not allow that change to affect our friendship, and if you feel it does that you have the strength to tell me. Also if it doesn't end up working out that you and can be open, honest and remain friends"
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for your advice! I agree in that I think that he likes me, but I just don't want to risk losing my best friend over anything. Their family is like a second family to me and I would die if I messed something up with her brother and lost my best friend.
But another thing that I am still puzzled about is something that happened a month or so ago. At my church, we have these hang out times called F&F every Friday night. Well, my crush emailed me over facebook and asked me if I was coming that Friday. I told him I couldn't make it because I had a soccer tournament.
The next weekend, I was at their house hanging out with my best friend, and out of nowhere, their dad asked me how my tournament went. I remember thinking "I never told you I had a tournament."
So, either my best friend, or her brother, my crush, told their dad.
What do you think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): Sometimes these things can work very well and everything turns out fine and everyone is happy.
Personal experience however is that I fancied my best friends brother, slept with him, fell out with his mom when she found out and then there was a rippling effect where one by one we all lost contact.
There are ways to go about these things - plus if everyone is as close as you say, they will all get involved.
Your choice follow your heart, he deffinately likes you.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (26 September 2007):
He sounds shy. You need a little alone time with him.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (26 September 2007):
Follow your own feelings. I think he likes you.
The reason boys act that way around sisters, is if they withdraw a bit, their brother or sister won't know they like someone. It's embarrassing for guys. Their sisters hiding around the corner singing the "sitting in a tree song"
I think you have a definite chance, but if he gets over himself about his sister knowing he likes you. You told his sister, but has she given him her approval. That might be what he's waiting for too. Good luck.
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