| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Okaay..well...My ex and I broke up because he didnt want a relationship. He said this was due to the fact we will be going to university, and he wants the ''univeristy experience''. Even though we wont be leaving for univeristy for atleast a year!?!! We have kept being really good mates since the break up, meeting up alot and we do kiss and hug alot. We have been broken up for over 3 months, and i am still totall in love with him. Last weekend i had gone to a party with afew friends from collage ( these were also his mates, we have mutual friends!) My ex was told that i had snogged one of our mates, and he went crazy! Saying ...'how could you do this to me' and said he didnt want to talk to me again, because i j'ust tell him lies' - even though it wasnt true! After 2 days of him blanking me, he apolgised to me, when he realised it was just a stupid rumour! Since then, he has been so...clingy?! Asking where im going, who im with, if im seeing someone new, and he wants to take me out for a meal this weekend! But, i had to decline the meal as i already had plans...and he got really moody with me. He also asked if we cud be mates...who hang out alot, and do sexual things...but do not see other people...This dosnt make sense?! isnt that just a relationship..but with no-one knowing???I love him, but hes really messing my head up with all these mind games! What should i do??? x x x x
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female
reader, elitzabeth  +, writes (26 September 2007):
 You too are very young and unmature. My advice to you is to place the card over the table for him. Be straight foward and ask him what he wants? Do not feel afraid to speak your mind. Just plain simple ask him: Do you want to be gf and bf again? or you just want to be friends with benefits? IF he can't give you an straight answer, I would advice you to cut him off completelly from your life and move on. That means no phone calls, emails, etc. If he wants to be gf and bf then good for you two.
Don't let him play you... You are young and deserve respect...
good luck
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (26 September 2007):
 Tell him no. Unless you believe in just being friends with benefits. I think he is scared of commitment. He wants the sex, love, attention, but not the commitment.
Your boyfriend is weird, here's why. Do you want to date him or not?
Dating = 2 people exclusively seeing each other.
Sex with one person and agreement not to do others = 2 people exclusively seeing each other.
Snogging between two people and no one else = 2 people exclusively seeing each other.
MARRIAGE = 2 people exclusively seeing each other, with piece of paper legalizing the agreement.
No matter what he calls it, he's describing a relationship, the same type you guys ended. Tell him if he wants to date, then do it, but don't do it if you call it something else, you're friends will look at you real funny if they ask what's going on between the two of you and you say oh we're not dating we just have exclusive sex together.
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A
female
reader, leanne.od  +, writes (25 September 2007):
 he wants no-strings-attatched sex. every mans dream. and he knows your hung up on him so plays games to make you think he's interseted but he knows he's not.
my opinion is to leave well alone and that means no sex acts, at all. if he thinks he get what he wants on tap from you when he hasn't got anyone else, he's laughing.
be strong and affirmative and walk away. it's eaier to mend a broken heart now than 5 years down the line.
best of luck
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