A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend have split up we have been together 2 years and 8 months i have been very jealous in the past because she met this guy on the internet who has told her he loves her, she insists she doesnt feel the same and is just a friend i am very jealous of this and can be extremly mean to her, i realise now i was stupid but she will not get back with me i act perfect around her and beg her back i worry if i leave it and walk away in hope she will ring me but im worried she wont because she has many male friends who she can go with i worry she wont want me what do you think?
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (29 September 2007):
 My views are 3's a crowd. She doesn't have respect for you, if she can't respect your feelings. Telling you, if you can't handle it we're over.
We all have a past, we have people who we were close to in our past. When dating someone, those who might pose a threat to our relationships should not be part of us when we are in it.
Don't let her walk all over you. This is your relationship too. Both of you deserve to be respected in it. It's not she does what she wants, and you just have to accept it. Her behavior does threaten your relationship and whether or not it's successful. She says she only wants you, but wants this other guy around too as friends. I find her intentions hard to believe as well.
If she said she loves this guy she kissed, I would call it quits. If she does and has you too, I think being with you is more of an emotional attachment than a relationship. I would ask her why she feels it's important to keep in contact with him. If she says it's because she loves him and wants to be friends, ask her to think about it from your side and why you feel he may be a threat to what you have.
She could be doing this because she really doesn't have an idea of what she wants. She may even be keeping you both on the line until she makes that decision. If that's her reason, you can wait or tell her, I'm too important of a person and can't wait around to play your competition game.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok we got back together but she has told me she kissed this internet guy and is inlove with him aswell as me.. but she insists she only wants me i find that hard to cope with also she says he is going to move nearer to her soon and i said i couldnt have that it would kill me and she said if i cant trust her over that then its over, i feel everytime i get upset over this type of thing she just gets her own way because she knows i csnt lose her.. i am thinking strongly of cutting it off because she is treating me like crap i love her and she may love me but do u think i should just allow her to keep seeing this guy even tho i know she has kissed him? whilst i sit and let it destroy me, the worst thing is i travel on a bus 10 hours a week just to see her i live 400 miles from her but every weekend i go to be with her and i do everything for her this other guy is there when i upset her and she confides in him so gets close and he has done nothing and she is falling for him.. i love her and i want her but do u think i am fooling myself by letting her walk all over me.. i make many sacrifices for her and she cant stop seeing this other man she insists its friendship but its still hard knowing she loves him and has kissed him.. what are ur views?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni just found out that she has kissed this guy off the internet and is in love with the both of us she has told me she still wants to be with me but she cannot stop meeting this other guy she insists it will never go that far again that she only wants his friendship. She has told me he is going to move localy to her and i told her that cant happen but she said we cant be together if i do not trust her i feel like if i dont do as she says she will just leave me.. i dont know if she is worth it anymore but it is hard because i love her so much i would feel lost without her yet she is making me so miserable anybody have any advice.. thanks
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (28 September 2007):
do you think begging shows strength or weakness in a man? what do women want?
Jealousy is your own fear of competition and loss. But it sometimes causes us to loose. It's time to stop begging and simply apologize for your actions. Let her know she's a beautiful women, and you've been afraid some other guy will just come a long and take her away from you. Let her know your insecurities. Men are intimidated by beautiful women. We don't approach them because we assume they're taken, or we don't feel we match their expectation.
Talk to her in a way that relieves her of her objections. Be truthful, don't act desperate, or she may not believe, and don't beg.
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