A
male
age
36-40,
*asperuk
writes:I am 21 soon id like to think I know a bit since I had a crap life my girlfriend cheated on me and I gave her a 2nd chance and she cheated on me with 2 guys at the same time why do things like this happen to nice guys. Well I don’t think I am a nice guy I treat girls right I don’t think of sex a lot and I am very funny I work hard I try not to be a bad guy but just recently I have been thinking stuff. Like if I do the bad guy thing but I don’t want to please help what should I do thanks.
View related questions:
cheated on me Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (30 September 2007):
Likenesses attract each other.
If you decide to play the bad guy you will either get a bad girl who knows no respect and cannot be trusted or someone who has welcome written across their forehead who will expect you to treat her badly because everybody treats her badly.
Just pursue things that you are interested in and meet some like minded girls who will see you for what you are.
You will ultimaltely do much better through being yourself.
A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (29 September 2007):
 Huni its not you its them, some girls just dont know a good thing when they have one, i would love a sweet nice guy but never had one i only seem to get users and losers alot of girls are just nasty and treat men like crap so they hurt others so they cant get hurt, never change not for anyone you are who you are and you will find someone who deserves you
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2007): me and my hsband have been together 4 years married for 1 year we was getting on sowell never argued perfect relationship i loved him loads then our sonwas1 week old and i found out he had been cheating on me with my step sister i was heart broken didnt ever expect this from him as we were so happy to what i thought, then we sorted that out andwe moved away of her for me then to find out he had cheated on me several times with my friend who we was living with at the time this time i was heart broken we seperated for a while bearing in mind our son was now about 5 months , after a break i really missedhim we decided to give it another go, now we have moved out the area and we are happy again married expecting our 2nd baby but i have to tell you , you may forgive but you will never forget or trust again good luck mate
...............................
A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (29 September 2007):
 Never change for anyone.. this girl cheated once and you gave her another chance she cheated again, she isnt worth ur time or thaughts.. If someone treats you bad then thats their problem, it isnt your fault. There are women who dont cheat, who are respectful and loyal, and you will find someone. personaly i think u shouldnt act as a bad guy, as this isnt exactly a good thing n it isnt u bein true to yourself and others. hope i helped =) mail me if you would like to talk x
...............................
A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous  +, writes (29 September 2007):
I am basically here to back up RCN. He's always got good advice and this is not different.
You could try the bad guy thing, but realize that if it isn't you, it will fail in the end. You can only fake it for so long and if that is what she wants, how will it be when you can fake it no more?
A lot of us are also attracted to what is bad for us, a personality that doesn't exactly fit. Could this be you?
You want to treat girls right, but it seems like she may have taken advantage of that or just didn't want to be treated right. Realize it isn't you, it is her.
...............................
A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (29 September 2007):
More girls than you would think have low self esteem and are attracted to the bad boy act. You act slightly interested and treat her like crap. Always late, out of money or gas, need to have her do your laudry or run an errand. She feels lucky that a guy who does't seem to care about anything is giving her some attention. In this way she feels good about get what little she can get.
...............................
A
female
reader, bewitch66 +, writes (29 September 2007):
 First thig I will say is that Its not u, its them, Please do not stop being the person u r for any one..you are who u r and u will find someone that will appreciate you...Its their lost..
...............................
A
female
reader, bewitch66 +, writes (29 September 2007):
First thig I will say is that Its not u, its them, Please do not stop being the person u r for any one..you are who u r and u will find someone that will appreciate you...Its their lost..
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2007): Forget her. Forget her. Forget her.
Move on. Tons of girls out there. Most won't hurt you like this one has. You already know what she's like, now you can either learn from this and remove yourself from a position to get harmed or you can keep messing with her and keep getting hurt.
It's your choice. But in a way, YOU are actually chasing the "bad people" just as much as she is. You're still chasing the bad girl even after you know just how bad she is. You're busy putting that energy into someone who is obviously not worth your efforts.
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (29 September 2007):
 Don't change yourself to get a girl. That's doing it under false pretenses and it won't work out.
Beginning with the relationship you described and other previous ones, do a relationship inventory. First list the qualities that attracted you to them. Next list any behaviors you notices that may have given you a heads up to this poor behavior. Next, since people love talking about themselves, list what they mentioned about their past relationship and how they ended their relationship.
What you're doing is looking at details to see if there were signs that they displayed which you didn't think about at the time, but may have lead up to this happening.
This girl has no self respect and no respect for you or the relationship. I hope this benefits you. Take care, and there are people out there looking for the opposite of the bad guy.
...............................
|
