A
female
age
36-40,
*eeds2know
writes:So i tried to talk to my boyfriend last night, to have that neutral conversation. So that way he can tell me how he feels annd how i feel. IT backfired! He can never tell me hows hes feeling really. This is what i got from hhim: "I feel rushed with school and work and having this relationship. I have to hurry do everything to make sure i can do everything. Its not fair to you or me with lack of time we spend with each other and its like we hang out as friends, and dont do anything special."So we are on a break right now, and i dont know what that entales. It stinks cause i really needed him with my upcoming surgery im getting.. but space and time seems best. Also now here is a kicker, he has been feeling stressed a little after college started, and he let this go on for awhile and be okay, when he should have said something. and the other awesome kicker: even tho he was having his moods with me and such, he was still excited about the apartment searching and stuff that is going to happen in a few months. He made sure i talked to his parents because me and his parents and my mom are going up to the school we are transfering to look at apartments for US!!! What is really goin on in this boys mind. What should i really do. Please Please Please help!
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female
reader, needs2know +, writes (28 September 2007):
needs2know is verified as being by the original poster of the question Maybe he is just overwhelmed and being that school is really important to him and always has been, thats what he needs to focus on. I dont think he knows how to categorize everything, time mangement. Cause he just worked during the summer we were fine but now that he has even more with classes every day and having to make up his gpa for transfer he just cant figure it out. I know that i have made my mistakes but i feel like also he needs to learn to say sometime if there is something wrong. Right? I gotta get the right questions as rcn said but it is soo easy for him to shut me out.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (28 September 2007):
 As I said you need to ask him. If he's not opening up with his feelings, ask the right questions and the answers will come.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (28 September 2007):
It sounds to me like he is under stress. Let me ask you this. If he's under stress, and takes a break from the relationship, isn't that saying, "the relationship is causing the stress?" Now as far as knowing what men are thinking. Listen to Jeff Foxworthy, he's right on. Men aren't complicated, we're always thinking "I want a beer and to see something naked." That's the extent of it. I would ask him, what is going on here. Is it stress? Is it fear of getting this new place together? Is it something with your relationship that he feels is lacking? Tell him to be honest. If he didn't give you the answer you were hoping for, at least you'd know. I wouldn't want to be holding on for something that is not the correct intentions to hold on too.Good luck, and good luck with your surgery.
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A
female
reader, needs2know +, writes (28 September 2007):
needs2know is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell im just confused as to why he would even be so excited about getting a place for when we transfer to another college. I feel like anything that has to do with his feelings he cant talk about and idk how im suppose to get this to function correctly you know.
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A
female
reader, FoxyR  +, writes (28 September 2007):
 Hi,
Like men don't know what's going on in a womens mind.
We don't either.
Am asking you why do you still want to find a house with him if you're not together?
Maybe you should think about that before you rush into things.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (28 September 2007):
Sounds like he is trying to avoid commitment. You need to decide how long you can go without it. You need to judge whether or not he ever will.
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