A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey I have a problem and I really need help. I have a boyfriend that is Bi.(I am gay by the way.) We have been together for little over one year. We are having a little issue with commitment. He tells me that he loves me, but he isn't sure if he can see himself with a man in the future. He says he has always pictured himself marrying a woman. I love him so much, and I really don't want to lose him. I want to show him that I can give him anything a woman can( except for the sexual parts of course). But our sex life is amazing so i don't see a problem there. I think he may just have a commitment issue with the fact that I am a man. Is there anything I can do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys your answers do help a lot. I am very happy with him, and I love him so much. I would do anything for him, even if that meant letting him go. I don't know how to see this, but I am willing to stay with him even though our future is foggy. Is that reckless? Is it bad though that I want to find a way to increase my chances? Another thing I found that was very interesting is that our friends really value our relationship. They are always telling us that they are jealous of what we have. "You two look so pure, almost as if god himself paired the two of you up." I was once told that. Our friends can see it, and so can I. I wonder why he is having a hard time seeing it himself. I mean as far as I can tell I make him happy. Thank you guys again
A
female
reader, loving arms  +, writes (16 March 2009):
well at least he's being honest with you. I'm not so sure he's is being realistic with himself though. If he loves you, and you sound as though you have a lovely relationship, does he really think he'll just be able to walk away from you?
Maybe he does see himself with a girl. Let's face it, as far as society goes, it makes for a easier life; fitting with the norm, having kids, family accepting etc.
We cannot know what the future holds, maybe he'll leave you for a girl, maybe you'll leave him, maybe you'll live happily ever after. We can't know what will happen, so let's change the question ok? Are you happy now? if yes, why change it for a hurt that might or might not be in the future.
Good luck mate, be happy.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (16 March 2009):
 I think it probably a commitment thing, and partially a social thing too. I bet he is wanting to please his family hence marrying a woman will seem like the right thing to do, and I imagine having a child of his own is also something he is considering.
I dont think there is a lot you can do in this situation unfortunately, it is his choice and if that is what he wants then you cannot change his mind. Maybe you should have seen this coming as a gay man getting involved with someone that is bi - you will always have known that he is still interested in women. But you cannot help who you fall for, and it is so naieve for him to think the way he does. What if he never meets that girl he is supposed to marry? He will have lost you and then he will end up with nothing. But you cannot really convince him otherwise - if it is his dream to marry a woman then unfortunately to him (while he may love you), you are just a bit of fun.
I guess you will have to decide what you want here. Do you love him enough to stay with him and just accept that you have an uncertain future and you may not end up with him? Or do you want that commitment so much that you cant stay knowing there could be an end in sight? It is all up to you here - think carefully about what you want.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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