A
female
age
30-35,
*oohbaby09
writes:Dear whomever, I'm 18 years old and me and my boyfriend has been together for 1year and 2months and we have been trying to get pregnant since we was together for 6 months.....the only thing about is we haven't gotten pregnant...he smokes weed a lot and we think that is the biggest problem of us not getting pregnant.....we really want a child together and have our plan together and money set aside....should he quit smokin for awhile so his sperm can get healthier.....
View related questions:
money, smokes, sperm Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): If he quits it won't help you get pregnant, but it would certainly make his sperm healthier. Him being a smoker puts your baby at risk of being a down syndrome baby or having spina bifida. If he truly wants children he will do what ever it takes to make sure they are healthy. Having unhealthy sperm is just as bad if not worse than having unhealthy eggs.
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (11 March 2009):
 I think I answered this in your earlier post
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (11 March 2009):
 Are you totally sure you are ready for a baby aged 18? You are not married yet so you are not bringing a child into a stable family! And I can tell you this for certain, if your boyfriend is irresponsible enough to do drugs (weed is a drug, a dangerous one that can seriously damage his health) then he is absolutely not ready to have a child.
It is a good thing that you have got the money aside (but this will run out!), and hopefully your boyfriend will have a job and you will be working up until you need to take maternity leave. If not, then again, you are not ready for a baby.
What are your reasons for wanting a child? A child should come as a happy addition to a family, when you have your own house, jobs, cars and family security. A child is not fun, it wont bring you closer together and it certainly wont make your lives better aged 18.
You should be wanting to go to college, or progress in a career you enjoy, spend time with friends, go on holidays, have lots of fun. Not be tied down to a child with a man you are not even married to! What if your boyfriend decides it is too much for him and takes off, leaving you with the baby? What if he develops a serious illness like schizophrenia from smoking weed? You cannot look after a baby and a mentally ill boyfriend!
I know it seems like a good idea now but what is the hurry to have a baby? Surely if you love each other and want to stay together, then you could have a baby when you are a bit older and ready for such a major commitment. It will only benefit your baby's life if you wait a few more years, as you will be mature enough to handle the responsibiity and also more financially secure so you can provide more for the baby.
You will only end up resenting the fact you got pregnant so young, as you will look back when you are in your 40's and wishing you had the chance to live a little when you were young. One of my mum's best friends had her 2 girls when she was 18 and the second at 20. Now while she loves her girls to pieces, she wishes she had waited as she feels her whole life has been about her kids and she never got to do the things she wanted as a young girl herself. And to make it worse because she had the kids at a young age, then got married at 21, she has now divorced her husband as they just had nothing in common once the kids grew up.
That could be you, dont let this happen! A baby can wait, because you are only young once and you only get one chance at life. You will never get these years back, so live life to the full now and then enjoy having a baby when you are in your mid twenties, when you have seen the world and had all your fun.
I hope you take this on board and good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (11 March 2009):
Are you totally sure you are ready for a baby aged 18? You are not married yet so you are not bringing a child into a stable family! And I can tell you this for certain, if your boyfriend is irresponsible enough to do drugs (weed is a drug, a dangerous one that can seriously damage his health) then he is absolutely not ready to have a child.
It is a good thing that you have got the money aside (but this will run out!), and hopefully your boyfriend will have a job and you will be working up until you need to take maternity leave. If not, then again, you are not ready for a baby.
What are your reasons for wanting a child? A child should come as a happy addition to a family, when you have your own house, jobs, cars and family security. A child is not fun, it wont bring you closer together and it certainly wont make your lives better aged 18.
You should be wanting to go to college, or progress in a career you enjoy, spend time with friends, go on holidays, have lots of fun. Not be tied down to a child with a man you are not even married to! What if your boyfriend decides it is too much for him and takes off, leaving you with the baby? What if he develops a serious illness like schizophrenia from smoking weed? You cannot look after a baby and a mentally ill boyfriend!
I know it seems like a good idea now but what is the hurry to have a baby? Surely if you love each other and want to stay together, then you could have a baby when you are a bit older and ready for such a major commitment. It will only benefit your baby's life if you wait a few more years, as you will be mature enough to handle the responsibiity and also more financially secure so you can provide more for the baby.
You will only end up resenting the fact you got pregnant so young, as you will look back when you are in your 40's and wishing you had the chance to live a little when you were young. One of my mum's best friends had her 2 girls when she was 18 and the second at 20. Now while she loves her girls to pieces, she wishes she had waited as she feels her whole life has been about her kids and she never got to do the things she wanted as a young girl herself. And to make it worse because she had the kids at a young age, then got married at 21, she has now divorced her husband as they just had nothing in common once the kids grew up.
That could be you, dont let this happen! A baby can wait, because you are only young once and you only get one chance at life. You will never get these years back, so live life to the full now and then enjoy having a baby when you are in your mid twenties, when you have seen the world and had all your fun.
I hope you take this on board and good luck!
...............................
|
