A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:First off, far fetched though this may sound, I swear to god it's for real. I really, really need help with this, and I can't turn to anyone I know for advice.I have, completely unintentionally got myself into a relationship of sorts with a man 27 years older than myself, which is bad enough to start with. What makes it a hundred times worse is that he's quite a well known British stage and TV actor and that I have a boyfriend. I know what an awful, awful person this makes me sound, but I was really completely taken by surprise with this - I have no intention of cheating.Basically I've been to his show I think six times with various friends, and we've gone round to the stage door every time to say hi to the cast afterwards. He's been very chatty and friendly with me every time. Then I went alone last night and, stupidly, went to the stage door again. Long and the short of it is that we ended up going out for a drink, which I took as a friendly thing - I have lots of male friends and go out for drinks with them all the time. Anyway, we ended up at the same bar (unsurprisingly, I suppose - it's almost opposite the theatre) as a load of theatregoers, who took a few pictures not only of him but of us sitting together.He evidently took my behaviour the wrong way though (I'm quite a friendly, open person in general), and tried to kiss me. This took me completely by surprise, and it was a couple of seconds before I pulled away. Anyway, I know there were pictures taken - I registered the flashes. And now I'm terrified that these pictures are going to find their way into the press or onto the internet or something. What the hell do I do? How am I supposed to explain to my boyfriend and my parents? I just didn't even think about the stupidity of going out for a drink with him at first, but know I've just realised what a completely idiotic thing it was to do. Please, please help?
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female
reader, wonderingcat +, writes (12 March 2009):
 I had to smile when I read this. I have been teased in the past by my friends for being such a big fan of a certain actor. They told me that he was my alter ego's b/f, or was it my b/f "on-the-side". Or something like that.
I read your posting several times, and I still cannot find any clues as to any deep meaningful feelings you have toward this actor. So my take on this, is that yes, of course you like him. You like his talent, you like his work, you like his personality. But it's not like you went secretly behind your boyfriend's back to his apartment, or to a hotel, to have some romantic time alone or to have wild sex together. Also, I don't see you going to the theater on your own, and waiting by the stage door to meet an actor, to congratulate or chat with him, as anything unusual either. I have done that too in the past too. Actors are used to this.
You are not "Penny" from the movie "Almnost Famous" are you? (That movie was loosely autobiographical of Cameron Crowe). She was a hard-core groupie, whereas you're just a sensible friend and slightly overawed nice fan of his.
As for the tabloids and paparazzi, they'll snap any picture they think can sell! Do you believe anything that you read in the tabloids? As for the actor, well, he probably is so excited that a young beautiful woman such as yourself adores him, and after a drink or two, his curiousity got the best of him. If he had a partner or wife, most likely it would be him that got into trouble! LOL
If your boyfriend and parents already know that you admire this actor's work, I don't think they'd be mad at you. A tad jealous, maybe (he/they should be in the picture too?). At the worst, he/they'd probably just think that you're a bit silly to get into that situation. He/they'd probably ask you that the next time you go to a theater to watch your favourite actor, you bring a friend with you. (The only problem is, not everyone is into theaters, is it)
So all you have to do is tell him that you went to the bar with loads of theater goers, with other actors from the theaters, and you sat in the same table, and all of a sudden he kissed you! Maybe the actor knew that there were always paparrazis or people with cameras around, so he did that on purpose!
You'll be fine!
Cat
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (12 March 2009):
 Just come clean with your boyfriend and family; he was the one that tried to kiss you not the other way round. leave out the bit where you didnt pull away immediately (it is best just to say you left as soon as he did this). Your boyfriend cant be too mad for this as you didnt kiss him, just say you are sorry for even going out for a drink with him as you never imagined you would give off any signals that you were interested in him.
And if your boyfriend gets really mad at you for this then he is just overreacting, it is such a minor incident and I'm sure he will get over it.
I hope this helps!
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