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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Asked by my lover to visit him in Turkey....is it safe to go?
Q. I am American Black female who is in Love with a Turkish Man. We meet while working together, he was on a visa working in the States for a year. He has invited me to come and visit Turkey. I have never left home and would like to know if it is safe ...
A. 21 May 2009: Well you claim to be in love with this man therefore why would it be unsafe to be with him? You are the only one who has met him, knows his character and trusts him. Therefore you are the only one who can know if it is safe to be with him. It should ... (read in full...)
Seeing ex and her new b/f made me very angry!
Q. I went out to a bar last night, where some friends were playing in a band. I had a few drinks before I came out. Whenever I arrived, I found my ex girlfriend and her new boyfriend were there as well. At first it didn't bother me, but as the night ...
A. 21 May 2009: That was just alcohol + lonliness my friend, nothing more and it happens to all of us! Take me for example, I've just ended a relationship with a guy who was so wrong for me in so many ways and I wasnt even that into him, yet when I am on my own ... (read in full...)
Want to be a dad but too young, what should I do?
Q. ok im only 15 but i love this girl with all my heart. we dated once dint work cuz im 2 hours away now im moving with my causins so i can live only 3 miles away from her. i'll be ther in a week an were going to try to date again an i know this time ...
A. 21 May 2009: Well for a start even if you did get this girl pregnant there is no guarantee that you would have a little boy, so would you be happy with a little girl? That is a very immature thing to say and just proves that you are no where near ready to be a ... (read in full...)
Asked by my lover to visit him in Turkey....is it safe to go?
Q. I am American Black female who is in Love with a Turkish Man. We meet while working together, he was on a visa working in the States for a year. He has invited me to come and visit Turkey. I have never left home and would like to know if it is safe ...
A. 21 May 2009: Well to my knowledge Turkey is a fairly safe place, I cant see why you would have any issues. There are always risks to travelling but you cant spend the rest of your life without seeing the world just because you are scared of leaving home!
Make ... (read in full...)
10 reasons its her fault the relationship didnt work
Q. Here are the top 10 reasons that it's HER fault the relationship didn't work. Reason 1: You aren't cool enough. Guys love cool girls, its probably our favorite characteristic for a girl we want to keep around longer than 2 hours. The problem...
A. 21 May 2009: Can I safely assume you are either divorced or very much single?! You are very bitter towards women my friend, however it was very amusing to read and brightened my morning at work!
I liked all of your points except the last one - you cannot g... (read in full...)
Does anyone have any tips on losing weight quickly?
Q. This is guna sound really stupid. but does anyone have any tips on loosing weight really quickly. you see i just feel that my whole life would improve if i was slimmer because id have the confidence and i'd be able to look in the mirror. i dont wana ...
A. 20 May 2009: You dont mention how much you weigh and your height - this would be helpful so I could give you better advice!
Basically if your BMI is over 30 then your doctor can help you lose weight. They may be able to prescribe you some tablets that you... (read in full...)
Does the amount of lovers you've had in the past matter?
Q. Hi, I'm 24 and just broken up with my boyfriend. He made me feel pretty bad a lot of the time and one of the things he said which upset me was that I've slept with loads of people and I'm a slag. He used to count on his fingers the people he kn...
A. 20 May 2009: I think some of the answers on here have been great but that last one is a shocker, no wonder she remains anonymous! Ignore her completely, she has no right to be "concerned" if you have slept with 20 people!
I am 22 and have slept with 18 peopl... (read in full...)
My mate's girl is always trying to get my attention
Q. My mates girl, well he aint much of a mates, fancy's me, she's always flirting and touching her breasts in front of me, keeps hugging my everytime she see's me, and i dont know what to do, i mean she is attractive and such, but i aint some dick that ...
A. 20 May 2009: She sounds like the sort of person who you would want to be running away from screaming never mind kissing! Firstly she is a complete slut for acting like this! She is willing to cheat on her boyfriend with his friend?! And she touches her breasts ... (read in full...)
Do girls hate guys who are vain?
Q. do girls hate guys that are vain? i dont walk around thinking im gods gift to every girl but i work out alot, always try and look my best, and look in the mirror loads. do girls find this a turn off?...
A. 20 May 2009: Working out and looking after yourself is a good thing and wont put a girl off. But looking in the mirror loads - this will be off-putting! Girls dont like guys who are obsessed with the way they look, and they dont like a man who spends more time ... (read in full...)
B/f 11 years older than me is abusive and I don't know how to get out of this relationship!
Q. First off, I'm 15 going on 16 in a couple of days; my boyfriend is ELEVEN years older than me. We've been together for 7 months and I do really like him, but every single month I've tried to end it because he's made me feel like sh*t, I have rea...
A. 20 May 2009: Ok sweety you have to get out of this now, this guy is abusing you and he knows he can get away with it. Firstly, college will be fine without your boyfriend. You already have your place therefore you dont need him for anything. You will make ... (read in full...)
He told me initially he wasn't attracted to me..he likes curvier girls
Q. Dear Cupid, Please help me. I have been seeing a guy for 3 months now that I met at work. We were just friends at first. Then after about 2 months of knowing each other he started giving me signals he wanted more. Our friendship deepened and we ...
A. 20 May 2009: Ahhh to be like you, where stress makes you lose weight! I am so jealous, I am one of these "curvy" girls who could probably go through a nervous breakdown and still not lose weight!
The great thing you need to remember about your relation... (read in full...)
Planning on marrying my fiancee but my other girlfriend is pregnant
Q. morning, i'm a young guy of 33years old. i have a problem with my girl freind.the probleme is this.i have a fiancee in my own town,but i came in this small town for work almost 8 month now and i find another girl freind.before we started...
A. 20 May 2009: I would just like to warn you that you are going to get some pretty harsh answers on here, the majority of answers will come from people in the US and UK, where having more than 1 partner is very much frowned upon and it is not socially acceptable. ... (read in full...)
I feel like he decieved me and wasted my early youth....should I leave him?
Q. I met this guy seven years ago,and six months into the relationship I asked him when we were going to get married he said soon.The following year in 2004 I asked him again and he said soon.In 2006 we had a break and we got back together in 2007,that ...
A. 20 May 2009: This is just crazy, you cannot sue someone just because they wont marry you! That is such a cold-hearted way to look at things - if you want to marry this guy surely you must love him therefore why would you want to sue the man you love?!
It se... (read in full...)
Why do women use the Pill and other hormone based contraception?
Q. I have a copper IUD. It works great. My question is, why are hormonal contraceptives so popular when hormones are so volatile? I don't understand the reasoning why women use the pill and hormone based contraception which has adverse side eff...
A. 20 May 2009: Well to me the copper IUD sounds horrible - why would you want a foreign object inside your body that is releasing "harmful" toxins (if sperm/eggs dont like the so called 'environment' then why would our bodies like it?!).
I love taking the pill... (read in full...)
Missed two periods. Ladies, help!
Q. heya. well im sorta of freaked out at the moment. Im 16, a virgin and havnt gotten my period for two cycles, its suppose to have come this week but it hasnt. Ive been having the regular pms things...extreme hunger, emotional, lack of hunger in other ...
A. 20 May 2009: I've never heard of hunger/lack of hunger being a symptom of PMS?! Thats new to me! Commonly girls that are underweight stop having periods because their bodies shut down basically, so I wonder if you are eating enough/underweight?
There are a va... (read in full...)
Breast implants?
Q. my husband and i have been talking about me getting a breast augmentation , i really want one and i know it will help my self esteem level rise........ does anybody know if silicon or gel implants are better? which ones feel more real?? ...
A. 20 May 2009: Unfortunately no breast implants feel real nor do they look real. Fake breasts look fake! They are too rounded, dont move enough and lift the skin way too high up so as Uncle Phil says, they seem to defy gravity in all situations!
If you truly be... (read in full...)
What do people think about casual sex?
Q. I'd like peoples opinions on casual sex (one night stands and friends with benefits). Do you think either are morally ok? I am trying to make my mind up on weither i think they are accetable and would like some opinions. ...
A. 20 May 2009: Well, as a female who is the same age as you I thought I would add my opinion in here.....
I think as long as you are mentally strong enough to keep sex seperate from your emotions then one night stands/friends with benefits is fine. I have had... (read in full...)
I'm so confused and messed up what do I do?
Q. argh ok i'm stuck in a rut. there are two guys i like and they both like me. the one i met a few weeks ago he is like really sweet to me and stuff calls me gorgeous and makes me feel great. then there is this other guy he went to my hig...
A. 19 May 2009: I guess the reason he did it will be because he is enjoying being young free and single! It is classic rebound behaviour as you rightly suspected. And now he is trying to tell you he is sorry because he is probably lonely and missing being in a ... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship... my girlfriend is so frustrating!
Q. Dear Cupid... My girlfriend is frustrating me to no end. She is super jealous of my work. I work from home as a freelance web developer. I work sometimes 18 to 20 hours per day. I make time to spend with her when I can. Usually every weekend, a...
A. 19 May 2009: I think you are right here, this woman just wants someone to be miserable with and is dragging you down with her. I think she has some serious issues that she needs to deal with and unfortunately you cannot do anything for her. She cannot see that ... (read in full...)
I'm so confused and messed up what do I do?
Q. argh ok i'm stuck in a rut. there are two guys i like and they both like me. the one i met a few weeks ago he is like really sweet to me and stuff calls me gorgeous and makes me feel great. then there is this other guy he went to my hig...
A. 19 May 2009: Well all your feelings and concerns over the first guy are completely right, if he liked you as much as he said then he wouldnt have got drunk and kissed someone else! There are lots of warning signs with this guy - he gets so drunk he passes out?! ... (read in full...)
How can I increase my boob size?
Q. Hey agnoy aunt, will u please suggest me how to increse my boob's size without any surgery? My boobs is of 32 inch and I want it atleast 34. Thanks...
A. 19 May 2009: Your a male and want to increase your boob size? Slightly unusual I must say!
Well what you are describing is the meaurement around your back rather than the acutal size of the breast - the cup size of a bra is the indication of how big your boo... (read in full...)
I know I'm ready for marriage, but logically am I too young?
Q. Hello, im 18 years old and my girlfriend is 20 we have been together for a long time now, and she and i have been talking about marriage i know im ready for it and i know she is too.. but logically am i too young?...
A. 19 May 2009: The way I see it is that at 18, so many things in your life are going to change within the next 3-4 years, it would be irresponsible to get married purely because you dont know where your life is going to take you. Q1605 is pretty much right, even ... (read in full...)
Am I a virgin?
Q. Im 20 and i'm not sure if i'm a virgin or not. I had 'sex' when I was 17 but we didn't finish and he didn't fully do it. I didn't even feel anything. Now all my friends think i'm not a virgin and my boyfriend wants to have sex but i'm going to...
A. 19 May 2009: No you are not a virgin, as pebble said....if a penis has been inside your vagina then this counts as losing your virginity. Rubbish sex is still sex I'm afraid, but at least you can be assured that you are not a virgin.
Why do you think this guy... (read in full...)
Do girls lie about being a virgin?:
Q. When girls have a bad experience their first time in sex, or regret having sex for their first time. Do they later on lie to their future boyfriends about remaining a virgin?...
A. 19 May 2009: Now personally I would never lie about being a virgin, there just seems no point in lying about something like that. However if a girl is religious, or the guy she is dating has strong views/is religous too, then maybe yes she would lie.
But i... (read in full...)
I want to lose 50 pounds by the end of the summer
Q. please help me. I need to lose weight so bad. I need to know the best excercise routines I can do at home (not run around the neighborhood, that's embarrassing) and the best foods to eat and times. and just be really specific. This boy I'm in love ...
A. 18 May 2009: Ok well at your current weight 50lbs is probably achieveable, if you make a major change to your lifestyle then you could expect to lose 4lbs a week (probably more like 7-8lbs a week in the first few weeks). Basically the larger you are, the faster ... (read in full...)
I want to lose 50 pounds by the end of the summer
Q. please help me. I need to lose weight so bad. I need to know the best excercise routines I can do at home (not run around the neighborhood, that's embarrassing) and the best foods to eat and times. and just be really specific. This boy I'm in love ...
A. 18 May 2009: 50 pounds is fairly extreme - are you sure you need to lose that much weight? A realistic weight loss target should be 1-2 pounds a week, so by the end of August (around 15 weeks away) you should lose about 30 pounds. This would mean you drop over 2 ... (read in full...)
Stopped injection in March, no period..pregnant?
Q. I started having the contraceptive injection in jan 08. I decided to stop it as i felt it was making me put on weight and stopped my periods. My last injection was due on the 6th of march 09 which i did nt hav and 2 mnths later have stil not had a ...
A. 14 May 2009: It might be a little soon for it to show up, I'm not 100% on how long you need to wait before you take the test. I think the best thing you can do is go to see your doctor and they will be able to help you more.
I just dont want you to take a t... (read in full...)
I'm 16 but lied to b/f telling him I am 19
Q. hi i am 16 and my boyfriend is 19 :] we've been together for 6monthsi met his family and we're very close to each other now. but i have a problem. i lied to him he know that I'm 19 too.. his family trusted me so well but im afraid to tell him the ...
A. 14 May 2009: I think you have to tell him now I'm afraid - you have lied to him for 6 months and if you wait another 2 years it will only be worse. And you would have to celebrate a fake 21st birthday if you waited for 2 years - I'm not sure if you make a big ... (read in full...)
Stopped injection in March, no period..pregnant?
Q. I started having the contraceptive injection in jan 08. I decided to stop it as i felt it was making me put on weight and stopped my periods. My last injection was due on the 6th of march 09 which i did nt hav and 2 mnths later have stil not had a ...
A. 14 May 2009: Yes there is a chance you could be pregnant - the morning after pill is less effective each day you fail to take it - if you take it within 12 hours you are pretty much guaranteed not to get pregnant however you waited 48 hours before you took it so ... (read in full...)
I started dancing but don't know how to get out of it or how to tell my family/friends
Q. I started being a dancer like 2 months ago at first it was so much fun, i loved attention and the pay was worth it, now im getting tired of it already and it really messes with my mind with the fact that it affected my dating life and it totally ...
A. 14 May 2009: If this is affecting your personal life then you need to stop, there are plenty of other jobs out there you just need to put the time in to find one!
You have to be prepared that other jobs wont be as well paid so be ready to learn to live off... (read in full...)
Boyfriend didn't recipricate the "I love you"
Q. Would love some advice- last night I told my boyfriend of almost a year (I am 32, he is 35) that I did in fact love him. I have been in previous serious relationships and he has not. I do love him. And he said he needs to get there in his own ...
A. 14 May 2009: You shouldnt feel so hurt - I understand you really put yourself out there and it must have been a bit of a kick in the teeth not to hear "I love you too". But you cant force him to be ready to say such a big thing - he will say it in his own time. ... (read in full...)
How do I ask him to define the relationship?
Q. I met a guy a few weeks ago and we have been dating. However, he has now moved to a different town for work. This was planned way before I met him. Unfortunately, I only met him not long before he had to move. He moved there last week and he just ...
A. 14 May 2009: It sounds like he really likes you and you are making a big deal out of nothing! Why do you need to define the relationship? Why does it matter what name you give to it?
This is a very bizarre need that women have and I never understand why - In... (read in full...)
How do you know if the hymen is nonexistent?
Q. simple question okay so how do you know if your hymen is nonexistent? i mean i haven't had sex before but i've experimented with my vibrator and i can go up to 6in without any pain or anything. does this mean im not a virgin anymore? i don't...
A. 14 May 2009: There is no real way of telling, often it can be broken as a child without you ever realising. For example, horse riding and gymnastics are two sports that will break your hymen.
By the sounds of it you definately have broken your hymen, using a ... (read in full...)
No luck with relationships
Q. Hi everyone, I was wondering if maybe you could give me some advice. I never seem to have any luck with relationships. I have many large groups of friends and enjoy socialising. I like to think that I'm a friendly, caring and outgoing person w...
A. 14 May 2009: You say you are quite outgoing and have large groups of friends - this could actually be off-putting to the sorts of men you want to attract. The nice guys like girls who are confident but they dont like girls that are really outgoing - the ones who ... (read in full...)
I don't want to feel rejected...
Q. I broke up with a boyfriend who i was with for a year and a half as you know. We both still get jealous when we each date, but im assuming that is normal. Another guy asked me out and i said yes partially to make my ex jealous. i don't have any ...
A. 14 May 2009: Well the first thing you need to do is break up with the guy you are seeing, it sounds like you already know he isnt right for you so it is best to do it now before he develops any feelings for you. And whats with the seeing other people bit? We are ... (read in full...)
I want a serious relationship with my cousin
Q. three years ago i start flirting with my cousin and as the time pass by we both start falling in love.. i want ot have a serious reletionship with her but a dont know how to convence her to kiss me i want some advice to convence her ...
A. 14 May 2009: It is illegal to have a relationship with your cousin therefore dont do it. She wont want a relationship with you because it is wrong and she wont want to go to jail.
You will forget about this silly idea in time, just leave her alone and find som... (read in full...)
Will he ever forgive me and take me back?
Q. On May 5th my boyfriend of 2 years dumped me. I feel like my wold has fallen apart, can't eat or sleep and the doctor has me on 3 types of tranqulisers.. Another couple that we had associated closely with split up 4 weeks ago - he just wasn't in l...
A. 14 May 2009: I'm sorry if my advice came accross as harsh and insensitive, it was not intended that way. However even in the light of your follow up, I still stand by what I said initially.
By saying you have "emotional issues" - this is not a dig at you or m... (read in full...)
We can't find the condom!
Q. hi, i had sex with my boyfriend last night, but we couldnt find the condom!! its literally gone n he cnt remeber if he took it off or not, wt shoud i do??? x...
A. 13 May 2009: I had something similar happen to me the other day (be warned, its pretty gross!). It was actually stuck inside me, quite a long way up! So I suggest you take a deep breath and have a good feel around inside you (not a nice experience but it needs ... (read in full...)
I should have told my cousin that I'm in love with her...
Q. I know I will be judged for this, and I know that it will be difficult for some to try and think of this in an unbiased manner. But I wish to say in my defense three things: 1.) There is no law against a relationship of this type. 2.) The...
A. 13 May 2009: I agree with rcn, there is no way you should tell her how you feel. She seems to be very happy in her life and choices, she has a child therefore you would be wrecking a happy home if you tried to make a relationship with her. She clearly is ... (read in full...)
Working on reuniting with my boyfriend of 4 years
Q. i am working on reuniting with my boyfriend of 4 years. he has joined other singles groups and has reunited with old female friends. he is have a party at his home in a few weeks and i am not invited and am feeling very badly about this. does this ...
A. 13 May 2009: This doesnt really make much sense? You say working on reuniting with your boyfriend of 4 years - how can you reuinite with him when he is your boyfriend already? Or do you mean your ex-boyfriend who you went out with for 4 years/4 years ago?
... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my b/f want to say "I love you" anymore?
Q. I love my bf 2 death i love him more than i ever loved anyone else in my whole entire life and i truly think he may b the "one" 4 me and he says he feels the same way about me..But last nite he said something that makes me doub his love 4 me.. We we ...
A. 13 May 2009: His response of "I dont feel like I have to say I love you all the time, you should just know it" is a typical male response, I think you may be getting worked up over nothing here. Girls like to be more forward and open with their feelings, and ... (read in full...)
Will he ever forgive me and take me back?
Q. On May 5th my boyfriend of 2 years dumped me. I feel like my wold has fallen apart, can't eat or sleep and the doctor has me on 3 types of tranqulisers.. Another couple that we had associated closely with split up 4 weeks ago - he just wasn't in l...
A. 13 May 2009: If he is ready to leave you after 2 years over 1 comment you made in the car then it seems to me that something else is going on here. What you said wasnt even that bad - and in no way does it indicate that you dont trust him.
I agree with Unc... (read in full...)
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