A
male
age
30-35,
*omance_boy18
writes:hi, im kinda falling for my sister and i want to know if its alright to return the same love to her. im 18 and shes 20. we always hang out alot, tease each other, and support each other. when I was younger, i never really had any friends, i was always bullied and it felt like everyone hated or disliked me, but my sister was always there for me since kindergarden. shes like my best friend that i can turn to plus oue moms always busy with work which we have the house all to ourselves. Ive been on gd terms with her forever and were together quite alot but about a day ago, I was slowly getting out of bed in the morning to use the washroom until i accidently bumped into her on the way and she fell on me and she was really close. she looked in my eyes and blushed. I kissed her and she smiled and said she loved me more then a brother. we do the samething day in day out as always and i really like her but is it right to accept these feelings from my own sister?
View related questions:
best friend, bullied Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (24 May 2009):
 The previous reply is wrong because it is somebody else's business. You are breaking civil and religious codes. They are there for a reason not just to stop your fun. Take some responsibility.
Inside you know what's right or you wouldn't have written in.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): If you both feel it was the right thing to do and enjoy having sex with each other, that is your business and no one else's. No one else can tell you how to feel or how to live your life. Besides, it sounds like the sex was based on a heartfelt emotional love you have for each other, not just lust. You said your and your sister have always been close, and she said she loves you more than just a brother. You have shared a big part of your lives together, have been supportive of each other during difficult times, so there is a strong emotional bond between you and her that, when it happens to other people who are not related, usually leads to sex because it is based on true love and caring betwen the two people.
If you are looking for others with similar experiences who can give you advice, try the Incest Taboo Forum (Google it and the website will appear in the listing). You can register there and exchange posts and messages with others. The Hip Forums at www.hipforums.com is another site where people discuss this topic. No matter what happens from here on out, I wish you and your sister all the best. I think once you move in together, your relationship with her will become even stronger, and the two of you will share that once-in-a-lifetime love that most people dream about but never get to experinece. That makes you and your sister two very lucky people.
...............................
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (13 May 2009):
Of course it's wrong - it's also illegal. If you are looking for permissin then I'm sorry. You just have to redirect your feelings to a suitable partner.
...............................
A
male
reader, romance_boy18 +, writes (12 May 2009):
romance_boy18 is verified as being by the original poster of the question we... we had sex, one thing lead to another and... we did it but i dont feel ive done anything wrong at all. it felt like a loving bond. also we were both virgins too. i love her alot but do u think it was wrong? btw i used protection of course
...............................
A
male
reader, romance_boy18 +, writes (27 April 2009):
romance_boy18 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know what you mean, its true we cant control our feelings. i know i couldn't control mine, my love for my sis just grew into something ppl wouldn't understand. its risky but it makes happy to be with my sister in a more connected way
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): I can understand how you feel b/c my sister and i like each other as well. I was adopted when I was 14. Two years later she moved in and we adopted her at 14. I am now 20 she is 18 we have been together for about 1 1/2 years now and still strong. Although it is kinda hard not being able to show are feelings towards each other out in public and our parents found out and told us its wrong and to stop, so as far as they know we have, but how can you stop feelings u have?
...............................
A
male
reader, romance_boy18 +, writes (22 April 2009):
romance_boy18 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyup, i dont mind that we can sleep together freely, i definitely said yes when she asked me to move with her. its like were free to do what we want at her new place. i think its more romantic then just a sexual feeling in my eyes
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): So are you still planning on accepting her invitation to move with her when she gets her own place? One advantage of that is that you would no longer have to sneak into each other's beds, cuz if you live with her, you and her can sleep in the same bed and kiss and cuddle every night if you want. Do you think you would like that or not?
...............................
A
male
reader, romance_boy18 +, writes (21 April 2009):
romance_boy18 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i told her about the article and she said "bro everyone makes there own decision in life and some people won't understand and we made one. i love you and you love me, your like my dream boy, but we cant go to far. ill always be there for u". im glad i was given a sweet beautiful sis. ppl would think it started with something sexual but thats not the case with us.
me and my sister didnt really have friends plus it seemed other kids just never had an interest in us to be friends. my sis just liked the same interests as me and so we always did stuff together.
i remember when i was growing up she was the first i asked about sex, she described it in a romantic way. anyways she'll always be my big sister and i cant change that nor do i want to
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2009): I think that's kind of interesting that your sister asked you to move in with her. That is perfectly fine, if you want to do it. In fact, since you already told her yes, you should probably go ahead with it, and not tell her no, because she will probably be very disappointed. Besides, since you are so close and she is the only friend you have that truly understands you, you would probably really enjoy living with her.You sound like you and your sister are the best of friends. In fact, it sounds like you are closer to her than to your girlfriend, and she may even love you more than she loves her boyfriend. So even if something sexual did happen between you and her, it would probably be no different that having a friend with benefits. And because you and her are so close, sex with her would probably be a very positive, loving experience, not just a sexual one. You would probably love each other more than any other brother and sister do.There was an article that appeared in the July 15, 2008 issue of the Times of London newspaper that was written by a woman who had sex with her brother. It was called "I had sex with my brother, but I don't feel guilty." She described a sexual, but very loving relationship with her older brother that started when she was a teenager. You can Google the words "I had sex with my brother" and the article will appear in the search results. I think both you and your sister should read this article, then talk about it with each other. Then you could decide how to proceed with your relationship with her.So, take a look at the article, talk about it with your sister, and post back here and let us know what she thought of the article and what the result of your talk with her was.
...............................
A
male
reader, romance_boy18 +, writes (11 April 2009):
romance_boy18 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell we have mouth to mouth and just cuddle when we sleep together. lately, we have moved on though but we still sleep and kiss, its like a thing we cant stop. she has her bf and i have my gf, times change and when u start something it can be hard to stop. we still hang out and go places like relatives do. She's moving soon and she asked if i wanted to move in with her, i gladly said yes. i guess i can safely say no, i didnt return her feelings, but my love for her as a brother just grew into something no one would understand except for me and her.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2009): As a follow-up to my reply from earlier today, a couple of other good places to ask this question are the Teenspot website at www.teenspot.com, and the Go Live Wire website at www.golivewire.com. There are mainly teenagers at both of these sites, so they could give you some good advice. So you might want to post your question there as well, and you should get a lot of helpful responses. Good luck with whatever you decide to do about returning your sister's love.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2009): If you are still sleeping with each other and sneaking into each others' beds at night and kissing each other, that tells me that you are very comfortable doing that, and that you enjoy it. If you didn't, you would stop that kind of behavior. So let me ask you this, does this feel natural and right for you? Do you enjoy sleeping with and kissing your sister? Because if you do and continue doing these things, sooner or later the relationship will probably become sexual, especially since she has already said she loves you more than just as a brother.And what type of kisses do you exchange with each other? Are they mouth-to-mouth passionate kisses, or kisses on the cheeks, or quick pecks on the mouth? Has it ever gotten to the post where you or her are kissing each other's necks and/or other parts of each other's bodies?These kinds of relationships do happen, and sometimes the brother-sister couples involved in them are able to move on to other relationships. Other times, they continue for long periods of time. Is your sister an attractive, or maybe even sexy girl? If so, then the chances are good that she will move on to relationships with other guys, because attractive girls and women are pursued constantly by men who are interested in them.Only you can decide what you should do. Bottom line is to follow your heart, and go with what feels right to you. Please post back here when you have something new to report.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009): I personally don't think its right for a siser and brother to be to gether intemitly. Me and my sister have a bond we finish eachothers sentances and were usually think the same thing when the other is speaking, we like the same thing from clothing to games. We are there for eachother in the good times and the bad. How ever we wouldn't place our selves in that kind of relationship of the next level.
...............................
A
male
reader, romance_boy18 +, writes (12 March 2009):
romance_boy18 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell things are going normally for now. i told her it was wrong and that we might regret it if were together and she understands, but we recently been sleeping together and sneaking into each others bed at night. we just sleep and talk, nothing more except kiss and i dont wanna make my mothers time pile up by getting involved with my problems
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2009): All my mentors through life always said the same thing to these moral questions. If you have to ask you already know the answer. It seems to me that you know it is wrong but want permission to pursue it any way. So the question is not whether it is right or wrong but whether its what you want to do. Follow your conscience not your hart and you will do what you must do no mater how painful it will be. Follow your hart and you could find your way into a place with no escape or freedom. I don’t remember who said it but “All spirits are in slaved who survey evil.” One of my mentors told me that the use of pornography is an indication of loneliness. This is also true about sexual feelings to a family member. Start asking other women out eventuality you will find a woman that is as kind and wonderful as your sister. Just remember the lessons you learned as a kid “Always let your conscience be your guide.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2009): Your feelings are understandable. You feel like the rest of the world hasn't treated you all that well, and there's one person, close at hand, who is an actual friend (shame on your mother, by the way, for being "too busy" to notice your anguish).Let's take it a step further than a simple "it's wrong." Why would a relationship with her be a bad idea? For one thing, because it would have to be kept hidden. That's not satisfying, it's not good for the relationship, and eventually every secret gets out. It would put profound stress on the rest of your family.For another, there's a reason that sex between a brother and sister is illegal -- if you got her pregnant, there's a higher-than-usual chance that there will be something wrong with the baby. Surely you don't want to take that chance?As you mature and become independent, you'll go out in the world and meet other women, one of whom will be a soul mate with whom you can share your life openly and with pride. If you hide at home with your sister, you're putting that day off. And if you've been with your sister, your relationship with her will always have a dark, guilty undertone that will prevent you from having a healthy sibling relationship as adults.Appreciate your sister as the confidante she is, and restrain yourself from anything more. It's short-term pain, but believe me, the long-term gain will be worth it.
...............................
A
female
reader, twilightdiamond  +, writes (11 March 2009):
 Hmm, The people who have answered so far have been pretty one sided in their opinions. I don't think I have an opinion one why or the other, I don't GET it. But hey, to each his own. However I thought I should point this out, it might intrest you. Its a question from a few months ago.http://www.dearcupid.org/question/we-are-having-a-baby-through-incest-.html
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (11 March 2009):
 I'm sorry but no, this is not ok. It is illegal to have a relationship with your brother/sister and you could both go to jail for this.
You can only be friends and love each other as brother and sister, nothing more. I suggest you distance yourself from her for a while and try and get some space between you both so hopefully these feelings will die down. You need to realise that this cannot ever happen between you; imagine the problems you would have if you actually start a relationship - your parents and other family members would not ever be able to accept this.
You must put an end to this now, before it gets any worse.
I hope this helps!
...............................
A
male
reader, romance_boy18 +, writes (11 March 2009):
romance_boy18 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbut shes like my only friend that truly understands me and shes there when i need someone. you wouldnt understand.
...............................
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (11 March 2009):
 NO this is very very wrong! You both need to get help!
...............................
A
female
reader, mightyhawk +, writes (11 March 2009):
 The ralationship between siblings is a difficult one; naturally, there is no real bond between brothers and sisters, just because you have the same parents doesn't mean a friendship between you is innate. Most siblings argue and you are very lucky to have a close friendship with your sister. However, your friendship may be confused with love because you have had trouble with trusting people outside your family circle in the past. It is easy with any friendship to become attatched to people who show you true empathy and attention. I would say that what you are experiencing isn't love, but the need to be loved. I would not try to persue any relationship with your sister, as at the end of the day it is morally and ethically wrong, not to mention the complications it would cause your family. I would try and brave the world out there and find a girl who can make you happy, and keep your sister as what she is meant to be; your sister, not your love object.
...............................
|
