A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend have been going out for over five months now. We're both first year college students, and we met pretty coincidentally. We realized that we liked each other from the very start and started going out. Although we had some problems in the start stemming from miscommunication, we were always able to talk it through and fix everything. We're really happy with each other and we're so compatible, and we always enjoy each other's company, spending lots of time together.In the past few weeks we've talked about how serious we were about the relationship. We both agreed that although we obviously aren't going to say for sure we'd be together, we'd really like for it to happen. We were talking about what we'd be doing in four years when we graduate, how it would work to have kids and jobs, and stuff (hypothetically and all). I honestly didn't mind talking about it, and neither did she.So, it's going really well right now. But do relationships that start this early in life work out? Obviously it's good to know a lot about your partner before you decide to spend the rest of your life with them, so it's good that we have "a long way to go". But I always see couples that meet when they're older, and more established in life (with jobs, etc), and personality. Also, we've both only had one previous boyfriend/girlfriend before.I guess I'm worried about this whole "long way to go" thing, since we're both relatively young, and that so much can still happen. But I'm definitely not afraid of committing to this person, so it's not anything like that. I'd like to have other people's thoughts on this matter? Do relationships which start relatively young (18) work out in the end? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (12 March 2009):
 It sounds like you are both being really sensible about this so that is good news, you dont sound completely disillusioned nor do you sound totally pessimistic.
It all depends on where life leads you as to whether or not you stay together - you are almost asking us to predict the future here!
I have friends that got with their boyfriends at age 16 and are still together now, nearly 6 years on. But on the other hand, I have other friends (and myself included) who went to uni, met someone there but then split up a year or two later on. There is no way of knowing whether your relationship will work out or not I'm afraid!
There is no harm in you talking about the future, and making plans. That is only natural and it is a good thing to do, dreams should never be discouraged! The main factor that will decide if you stay together will come once you have finished college. If you both get jobs close to each other then there is no reason why you should break up. But say if one of you has a dream to go travelling after college, while the other gets offered an amazing job, then you may end up going your seperate ways.
The difficulty is managing to fulfill your dreams as a couple with your own personal dreams. While you might want to move in together, and get married etc you cannot compromise on something you have wanted to do since you were young i.e. move to a certain city, go travelling etc. If one person has to give up a dream like this in order to stay together as a couple, this will only end up in resentment towards the other person and most likely will end in breaking up somewhere down the line with lots of claims like "I gave up this and that for you! You do nothing for me" etc etc.
For now, enjoy being together and see how it goes. There is no point making firm decisions about the future because lots will change in the next 3 or 4 years, and who knows where life will take you. But hopefully if you both share the same dreams then you can do them together.
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): Well some young people can really work this out.YOu may go through alot of rough times buut it just might work.I think you might be to worried and maybe "over excited" about the "long way to go" thing but if you always think positive and stay open with your relationship and commit to your partner you guys may go far on this relationship.
God Bless.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): LOL! How about "yes and no." That help?
No, I didn't think so.
OK, look, yes, those relationships can work out. Sometimes you happen upon your soulmate and everything works out fine. My (now) wife was just barely 18, I was 20, and 25+ years later we're doing fine. So yes, it can happen.
OTOH, there's a reason that people put odds against it happening. You still have a bunch of growing up to do. The early college years bring up all sorts of new experiences, and there's all kinds of opportunities for you two to grow in different directions. Enjoy your relationship now; it may strengthen and bond you. But it just as easily may not. Go with the flow. Be honest with each other, and don't be too hung up on the 'committment' you've made so far. If it stops working for one of you, let it go and move on. If it genuinely keeps working, and gets better, then hang on.
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