A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm so afraid of my parents! They've always been strict with me and they always feel like I'm being rebellious. But I don't feel the case. Whenever I'm hanging out with friends I tell them who I'm out with and where I am and what time I would be back. But my parents hate it when I reach home later than 8pm. This frustrates me because I wanna hang out a bit later with my friends sometimes. And because of my curfew I usually miss out on sleepovers and chalets r late night barbecues. While I understand my parents worries about me coming home late, I wish they'd have more trust in me that I'd be able to reach home safely and give me a later curfew. It's the holidays for me now and I've taken up a part time job but I have to work from 6-11pm for one of the shifts and now I feel so pressurized to inform my parents. Please help! Even broaching this subject to my parents terrifies me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (28 February 2012):
 A part time job is a different thing from partying. Let's see if they are willing to pick you up from work. If not there is nothing you can do. You are basically following rules because you still live with them. It's a yes or no whether you are allowed the freedom. However you can ask them to tone down their voices if this is what you are afraid of. Maybe you can negotiate something with them. If you help out around the house and pay some bills then you get a later curfew. You are becoming an adult (most folks on here say you are already an adult) so I am sure if you stick to the rules you will eventually get a later curfew, even before you are totally financially independent.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2012): Your parents seem a little unreasonable. You're an adult now, and many of the events and functions of adult life are going to go past 8 pm. I kind of know where you're coming from. Once, my parents wouldn't even let my brother go on a camping trip with friends after they found out there'd be girls there. It sends the message that they don't trust you. Most parents like this probably feel they are protecting their kids. But go overboard with it and the end result will be grownups who are too naive, sheltered and innocent to survive in the real world.
At least you get invited to barbecues and sleepovers. But if you never show up, those invitations will stop. This curfew is retarding your social life, maybe even your social development.
Tell your parents about your job. Write them a note if that's easier than telling them face to face. Or first say you got a job, then wait a few days before telling them the hours, so it's not such a shock all at once. Say you have no control over the hours they've given you and that it's honest work which anyone would be lucky to get in this economy. And it's a job, it's not like you're out socializing late at night. They'll know exactly what you are doing and when you'll get home each night.
Your parents must realize that having such a strict curfew at your age is silly. But remember too that at least they care about you enough to have rules. Some parents let their kids run wild, stay out all night, not caring where they are or what they're doing. We all know how those kids end up. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Jessica M Payne  +, writes (28 February 2012):
Hi.
You are 18+?
Are you an only child?
Well I'm 18 and an only child, trust me living with parents like this is hard. I too still have a curfew of 9-9:30pm.
But in my case it's my dad that scares me. So i tell my mum what im doing and what time i will be home for when my boyfriend drops me home.
Your parents are probably the same as mine? 'my house, my rules?'
Since I turned 18, i started rebelling. If they said no to me sleeping at my boyfriends house, i would anyway. Sometimes rebelling is the only way. Your parents need to see that you are 18 and not a little girl anymore.
What worked for me was calling my parents, letting them know where I was and what time I would be home. Or actually answering when they called.
Stay in there :) !
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