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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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My boyfriend will not face his depression, how can I help?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. I love him more than anything and I know he loves me too, despite issues he has had in his past that make it hard for him be in love with anyone. He's depressed however, and won't talk to anyone about ...
A. 2 May 2012: He is able to talk logically and he thinks about other people. He is able to function in daily life and fake a smile. He does not have clinical depression. He does not want to talk to a professional. You have to trust him on this. If a depression is ... (read in full...)
What is her problem? She ended it and I've stopped replying to her texts!
Q. I am 44 and 17 years older than my gf and was with her for 5 years, until this January when she ended it. She said it wasn’t working out and that she wanted to be on her own. It wasn’t working out because for that entire 5 years she wouldn’t tell ...
A. 2 May 2012: She wanted to be on her own means she doesn't want the pressure of introducing you to her family, yet she still wants to keep this underground relationship going. Your silence would tell her you don't want this arrangement. She has to respect your ... (read in full...)
No experience with women, and finding porn too easy an alternative
Q. I'm currently a 23 year old virgin, and it's beginning to get me down in a big way. Basically, I was always a socially awkward kid at school, and even when I did get a girlfriend at the end of high school I couldn't make a move on her at all, even ...
A. 1 May 2012: Porn and prostitues do nothing to correct your irrational fears about women. How about immerse yourself in techniques on how to hit on a woman. Study a woman's anatomy. Try to control ejaculation. Read relationship books on how women think, what ... (read in full...)
Does he just need time, or will I never mean as much to him?
Q. Ok, so this guy who I've liked for a really long time told me he doesn't want a relationship with me. He recently broke up with his girlfriend of 8 months and since then, we've been getting closer and closer together. A few weeks ago, we ended up ...
A. 30 April 2012: Stop thinking about him. He is not considerate with your time, so he is not worth your time. You have to be sure you both want the same things before sleeping with someone.... (read in full...)
Is he genuine or just trying to sleep with me again?
Q. hello i have a question regarding a man who is 48 yrs old and i am 25. So, we met on a dating website about 4 years ago. we spoke for hours everyday for two years - he works on a cruise ship and lives in another country - we both used to speak on...
A. 30 April 2012: I don't think he cares what your real name is. By distancing you he was trying to avoid drama. He knows he has no future with you, is not expecting anything, but he still wants to know how much you fancy him. You told him to leave you alone. First ... (read in full...)
Husband putting oral sex above everything else.
Q. My husband and I have been married for 6 years, our sex life has always been great, but lately I feel that I am nothing more than a mouth for him. He wants oral sex everyday, and though I dont mind it, it seems that he has no emotions about it, no ...
A. 30 April 2012: You said sex has always been good before, implying he was more loving at the beginning. Can you ask him what made him stop doing hugging you and kissing you? You mean there is no cuddling and kissing after sex, like he just rolls off to bed, and he ... (read in full...)
He asked me to get confident enough to initiate sex, but now when I do I get turned down! What gives?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months officially, but we met and started dating about a year ago and started dating exclusively and having sex 7 months ago. We took everything in our relationship really slow which was nice. The sex was ...
A. 30 April 2012: You can tell him that you are not going to initiate anymore since you get hurt by being turned down.
What we say is not necessarily what we want to get. This applies for both men and women. When he says he wants you to initiate sex, it only mean... (read in full...)
How do I tell this person whom I love and care for and WANT as a major part of my life, that I'm having doubts about it right now?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half and have a great relationship (given that every relationship has ups and downs at some point). I honestly believe that he is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with and we've ...
A. 30 April 2012: I have seen people coming to university from a totally different continent, just a week after they got married and then they do long distance. Perhaps the leap of faith is what you need. If you are confident that he is the one you want to spend the ... (read in full...)
A little of every emotion minus happiness... insecure maybe? Not sure.
Q. So I (age:26) have a strong relationship of over a year and a half now. I recently found out that only a few weeks before my girlfriend and I made things official she had a drunk one night stand with a guy she met from her job. Listening to the ...
A. 30 April 2012: You have a legit reason to be upset because you both made an agreement to be exclusive and she failed that trust. I don't think family issues and alcohol are reasons to blame for the one night stand. She should have come to you. She is disgusted by ... (read in full...)
Happily married but have a conundrum
Q. Hi all, I will try to keep this brief and simple.I am very happily married. In fact, most of the problem is I cant talk to my husband about this and I tell him everything! The crux is, I have a crush (im not worried, i simply admire him physically ...
A. 30 April 2012: Happily married? This is not a conventional marriage. It sounds more like a business deal/polyamory thing. I suspect at least 3 of you are fine with what you are doing and are accepting this set up. Is his girlfriend part of the business or is she ... (read in full...)
I'm 23 and my parents control my life
Q. Hi,mine is going to be a pretty long story so please be patient and kind enouf to read it I am 23 years old,and in my final year of med school,throughout my life I have been controlled by my parents,not that they hit me or anything they give me ...
A. 29 April 2012: You have a life that many people envy. Many people live a messed up life like teenage pregnancy and not being able to pay bills. You can still have control over you controlled life. You can choose to be happy that you are priviledged to live a high ... (read in full...)
I talk too much for her
Q. I am having a really hard time effectively communicating with my fiance. The chief complaint is that I am too long winded and I am constantly speaking about the negative things I see around me. We used to talk for hours(mostly me ) when we got toge...
A. 29 April 2012: Wow, you have raised many issues here and there are 7 months to go before your wedding. It is really draining to just complain but having no tools to solve anything. It's not that people don't care. They don't think the world is as bad as you ... (read in full...)
Is he for real or just messing with me?
Q. I talk to this man for several years an he would send me little things little good morning here your coffee a flower or just some little something .we keep talkinf an found out we he use to live in same town that i do an know the same people .so we ...
A. 29 April 2012: He is talking to other people because you blocked him. For several years have you expressed a desire to be his girlfriend or did you let pride get in the way? I think he had thought about being serious with you but since you never said anything he ... (read in full...)
I still have feelings for him, but I'm a bit apprehensive of getting hurt again.
Q. Hi, and thank you in advance. I've known this male for several yrs through a friend. He's 15 years older than I and we would talk here and there. We ended up becoming friends on facebook and began dating. We seemed to really connect. He woul...
A. 28 April 2012: Imagine this dialogue with him. Lay it all out on the table. Say you want more than he gave last time. You want him to be ready for the next step, not just sex and dating only. If you find him faking a relationship and then backing out when it comes ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is a great guy, and is definitely someone I can see myself settling down with BUT I really like my guy friend and want to pursue things with him. What should I do?
Q. I've dated a lot of guys over the past year, but finally picked someone I could see myself having a future with. He's a great guy! We've been dating for about three months, he's really intelligent (working on his PHD), attractive, athletic, and has ...
A. 28 April 2012: Talk to your boyfriend first. I don't believe in soul mates, the one. Once I decided we are exclusive I don't think about others and entertain the idea of dating others. That's just me, once we made an agreement that we are true to each other when ... (read in full...)
I'm filthy rich and very independant and it seems that most guys are intimidated by the fact that they have nothing to offer me
Q. I'm in my early thirties, I've never been in a serious relationship and once I get to know someone it never develops into anything and it's generally over within a month. I'm pretty but I don't dress to show my assets, don't sleep with guys for the ...
A. 28 April 2012: I am filthy rich too but I am with a guy who has just enough to treat me once a week. What he has to offer is his heart. He says he doesn't care about a person's background as long as there is love. I think the guys you meet are not serious and when ... (read in full...)
My wife passed away and I'm left with a difficult daughter who I have no clue how to deal with
Q. My wife of seven years recently just passed (car crash). we actually met for the first time when i was in the 2nd grade she was the child of a close family friend but being thats shes five years older then me we rarely conversated in those days. ...
A. 28 April 2012: Don't look at ADHD as an excuse. 60% of crime is done by people with ADHD. If her mom took her to a place and got medications, it only works when the medication is in effect, when she is off it her impulsivity continues. It also does not offer long ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend liking/saving sexy pictures of exes and attractive female friends, how to overcome my jealousy
Q. I know my plight is not as dire as some and I should consider myself lucky its not worse. I just want to know how to get over my anger and jealousy so we dont have to fight about it anymore! My boyfriend of nearly 6 years (hes in his early thirti...
A. 28 April 2012: You are not getting over it because it's not something you should forgive. You would be stupid if you don't get bothered by it. In your question it seems like you want to overcome it so you can continue with him. I do think it is a big issue. Your ... (read in full...)
The man I love is getting married and I need to leave but he doesn't know how I feel!
Q. Okay, I have a question...... The man i'm in love with is getting married in three months when I called him to tell him I was relocating to another city after I heartbreakingly watched him be told by my pastor to officially get engaged to her on t...
A. 28 April 2012: I don't care if this is arranged marriage or some mega financial deal, there must be a reason he is getting married to this woman. You want to let him know how you feel so he would encourage you to be his mistress? He is the kind of man I won't ... (read in full...)
Incompatible conflict styles? He's avoidant, I'm confrontational. Help!
Q. Hello, My live-in boyfriend and I (been together for a few years) had a huge argument last night that started right before we went to sleep. He's very much the conflict-avoidant person whereas I like to talk about the issue until it is resolved. ...
A. 27 April 2012: 1. It could be that the issue can never be resolved because of personal differences. He may not seem to care about the issue as much as you do.
2. It is healthy to step outside of heated emotions but you should come back and talk about it once you ... (read in full...)
I want a healthy relationship with both my mom and my bf, but I feel like I have to choose.
Q. Insight from my fellow Asian American ladies would be most helpful but insight from anyone would be great! I'm 21 and my mom is very overbearing. I mentioned my Asian American ethnicity because Asian parents often control their kids much more t...
A. 27 April 2012: Your mom saw something that you can't forsee right now that you are in love. A lot of people do go back to Asia because job prospects is better. Stocks involves risks, up and downs. I have seen family friends got in trouble, getting in debt, going ... (read in full...)
Why is my ex planning to copy my travel dreams when he said he hates traveling?
Q. My ex is planning to travel to the same country I went to, after refusing to come with me when we were together. I broke up with my ex 4 months ago. We were together for over 3 years. I broke up because I felt he showed little interest in sharing ...
A. 27 April 2012: He wants to get back with you and he wants to see where you stand before asking straight out. If you say no at least you won't look at him as a miserable sexless guy with no sense of adventure. Your break up forced him to do something about his ED. ... (read in full...)
My wife has changed, she's become so cold hearted and to make it worse I find out she's lied about her sexual past! Am I crazy or should I feel hurt?
Q. Please anyone give me advise ...I'm hurting more than I ever have in my life, so here's my story I'm 30 years old married 5 years and together 6 years. we have 3 kids two she had from a former marriage but the dad was a deadbeat, thug, gangster in ...
A. 27 April 2012: I can see why it makes you feel unnattractive and used when your wife is not loving. When she was talking to her mom maybe she is figuring out why she can't be sexual with you. Sex in her life has always been cheap and violating, maybe she never ... (read in full...)
I am separating, but my male friend is dating someone else. Why won't he wait for me?
Q. Here is my story. I am in the process of separating from my husband. The separation is in the beginning stages. We are going forward with it but are in the process of selling our home. Hubby works in another city and is rarely home which makes it ...
A. 26 April 2012: He is being wise and protecting himself. If your husband knows about you two he could be violent towards you and him. A man can be separated for a long time but still thinks he owns his woman even though the woman mentally left the relationship long ... (read in full...)
I'm starting to think there is no such thing as love; rather it's all just lust with dependency
Q. I've been single for quite a while now and over the years I've spent a lot of time 'observing' other people in relationships and what not and even browsing on here and seeing how many people are in messed up situations when it comes to 'love'. ...
A. 26 April 2012: It is not as simple as people needing sex, money and exploit each other.
There are two kinds of love. Dramatic love and peaceful love. Relationships can teach you a lot about yourselves. Your partner is a mirror of your soul. You project your fear... (read in full...)
Its hard to Trust when Temptation is always present along with opportunity.
Q. I am a man that can admit that I have such a hard time trusting women. I am afraid of being lied to, cheated on, and used for my gentlemanly, respectful, and generous ways. I have a woman (fiance)that is very beautiful and she is has a large set ...
A. 26 April 2012: I agree that it is not harmless to receive gifts from random men because it would take you to give her many more gifts, bigger and better gifts to make your gift special to her. It's like you are not as important because there are many men in her ... (read in full...)
I'd rather view videos than be in a relationship. Is it wrong to love porn?
Q. Is it wrong to love porn? Ive never really thought about it until the other night but porn makes me emotionally warm and happy . Ive never had a girlfriend nor have had sex but to be honest I would rather choose Videos over trying to be in ...
A. 25 April 2012: "I posted to see if any other guys are going through what iam. clearly there is none."
An attempt to convince yourself you are not normal and therefore absolving the need to date people and get over your fear.
Porn watching as a habit is not unhe... (read in full...)
I'd rather view videos than be in a relationship. Is it wrong to love porn?
Q. Is it wrong to love porn? Ive never really thought about it until the other night but porn makes me emotionally warm and happy . Ive never had a girlfriend nor have had sex but to be honest I would rather choose Videos over trying to be in ...
A. 25 April 2012: Actually there is statistics saying that porn lowers crime. Inmates and sexual offenders were interviewed about their porn use and they said that porn allowed them to act out violent fantasies in their mind, it calmed them down. This is from a ... (read in full...)
Our outlooks are different. I already have a Bf. So why an I crushing on this very different guy?
Q. I am very confused. Something very strange is happening to me, and I really need an explanation. I met someone that I have been talking to..l will call him X X and me used to work together and were always good friends, he moved to another...
A. 25 April 2012: If I were to have serious relationships with all the men I had crushes on, my life would be a disaster. Nature intends us to add variety to our genes. It would make sense to you that the more mixed a person is, the more the baby is going to get the ... (read in full...)
How important is sexual compatibility in relationships?
Q. How can someone gauge sexual compatibility with someone else? Is communication and experimentation in the bedroom the best way to introduce particular likes and dislikes of each partner? A particular question for female answerers: if a guy told yo...
A. 25 April 2012: Many women think sexual compatibility is important in a relationship. If I hear you mention it the first thing that comes up in my mind is that you didn't have good sex in your last relationship and you will obsess about it rather than go with the ... (read in full...)
Had web cam sex with a girl I've just met.....is this wrong?
Q. I just met this girl (last few days). Last night we were on skype video chatting, and one thing led to another and we ended up having mutual masturbation, cam sex or whatever you want to call it. Now I kinda regret doing it, I have never had s...
A. 24 April 2012: It is wrong for you if you are feeling regret. There are people who feel refreshed after a one night stand, thinking it's the best thing ever while other people feel a sense of emptiness. You met this girl a few days ago, so you are still thinking ... (read in full...)
I want to get married to this man someday, but to stand at the alter with the man who used to abuse me standing by his side, is unthinkable!
Q. I love the man I am with, unfortunately his best friend is an ex of mine, an abusive ex. His argument is that they have been friends longer than I have known him and that everyone makes mistakes. He is a godly man and believes we need to forgive one ...
A. 24 April 2012: Your future husband was witnessing the abuse that your ex had done to you. Did he? Did he say nothing? It is very ungodly to let that abuse happen to anyone. Are you sure your future husband "forgave" something he didn't feel was wrong? I want to ... (read in full...)
Spoke to online date on the phone - he sounds effeminate!!!
Q. I met someone online and we seem to have alot in common - we both think each other is attractive and I have given him my number to call me. He has called but his voice sounds effeminate! I don't know what to think. I have gay friends and I k...
A. 24 April 2012: Did you get turned off by his voice? Can you live with that voice? Justin Timberlake and Justin Bieber sound effeminate too but girls like them for a reason. This is very new, so it will be inappropriate to ask him what turns him on, has he been ... (read in full...)
I'd rather view videos than be in a relationship. Is it wrong to love porn?
Q. Is it wrong to love porn? Ive never really thought about it until the other night but porn makes me emotionally warm and happy . Ive never had a girlfriend nor have had sex but to be honest I would rather choose Videos over trying to be in ...
A. 24 April 2012: You really think that all the Brad Pitts get all the girls?
Whenever I go to a kids function in the city. What do I see? Moms and Dads who are plain looking and overweight by society's standards. When a person looks too perfect he seems unap... (read in full...)
Can we really live happily ever after when we are so different?
Q. I am wondering can two people who are so different stay together and get things working? Me and my boyfriend have been together for 8 years. We are from different upbringing (his parents happily married for 30 years, mine fought for 20 years an...
A. 23 April 2012: I have a feeling he is afraid of change and wants to keep things status quo. What happens when you make up your own mind and say, "I believe this is the best idea and I am going ahead with that decision." Don't ask for agreement or wait for his ... (read in full...)
I feel jealous that my partner pays so much attention to our attractive friend
Q. I am very embarrassed to ask for advice over this, because I hate to admit to being jealous. This is about my boyfriend of 4 and a half years and my friend. I think he has actual feelings for her. Me and my boyfriend moved to a new area 3 ...
A. 22 April 2012: This is more than jealousy. There are always more beautiful people than us. You said that you should be happy because you have lovely friends and a nice partner but honestly your partner is not nice. He found you attractive enough to date you and be ... (read in full...)
What ways can a girl lie about her virginity?
Q. Hello to all, I'm new member in this site and i think it's very helpful and useful. I got a question, in which ways can a girl lie to her bf for her virginity.( i'm male, just asking 'cuz i'm curious)Thank you....
A. 22 April 2012: Her hymen can be broken during sports and horse riding. It can be broken with the insertion of tampons or dildos. Some women are born without hymens, some did not break after a few times of sex. Girls who had sex but care too much about what a guy ... (read in full...)
What do I do? He tells me he only loves me 50% ?
Q. Hy people my boyfriend told me one thing i never expected to hear from him we've been together for about 1 and a half year,he told me that he luves me only 50% and other percentages he have to give them to his family because im not special.I love ...
A. 22 April 2012: How did this conversation start? Was there an argument about how he is not loving enough? Does he know how stupid he sounds? He loves his dad 25%, his mom 25%, and you 50%. It means each of his parents is half as special as you are. Everyone has a ... (read in full...)
I don't feel confident! What should I do?
Q. Yesterday me and what I may now term my 'girlfriend' had our really first intimate encounter. We've kissed three times prior to yesterday, each encounter being more intense than the last. We chatted a week ago that maybe our kissing was too ...
A. 22 April 2012: She is happy with the things they are. The only time you think you will be confident is when you can perform for sex and she orgasms in it. You just have to wait until she is ready for sex. She is not going to leave. The fact that she is waiting ... (read in full...)
I am getting mixed signals from someone I'm interested in.
Q. It is a person I used to work with. We got along fine at work, we would chat comfortably amongst each other. I asked her out a few times, I tried to be really casual about it. The first time I asked, we talked about what we were going to do on F...
A. 22 April 2012: She is interested in hearing from you, and not actually going out with you. Her actions seems to be calling, keep trying, keep trying. I am not too sure if she is being nice to you. Not responding and not picking up certainly is not nice. Some ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated with over 26 women, how do I get over him?
Q. Dear cupid I need advice on how to stop thinking about my horrible ex boyfriend and moving on with my life. I cant sleep I can barely eat I'm so hurt but anyway here's the story. We were together for three years, high school sweethearts and very ...
A. 22 April 2012: This is your past relationship. I will not ask you to just get over it. If it takes two years to get over it, then do so. You can still enjoy you single life and pour passion into any activity, and enrich yourself by learning things you always ... (read in full...)
I'd rather view videos than be in a relationship. Is it wrong to love porn?
Q. Is it wrong to love porn? Ive never really thought about it until the other night but porn makes me emotionally warm and happy . Ive never had a girlfriend nor have had sex but to be honest I would rather choose Videos over trying to be in ...
A. 22 April 2012: Go for women 5 feet and under. Snooki is very short but she's still hot. My dad is 5 feet 4 and a half. Because of TB bone he is the shortest of all his brothers. He was teased in school but he focused his energies on academics and got successful ... (read in full...)
I'd rather view videos than be in a relationship. Is it wrong to love porn?
Q. Is it wrong to love porn? Ive never really thought about it until the other night but porn makes me emotionally warm and happy . Ive never had a girlfriend nor have had sex but to be honest I would rather choose Videos over trying to be in ...
A. 22 April 2012: "Am I causing harm to myself?"
This can't be answered when you believe that real relationships are harmful.
I think it is a phase. Later your worries of not being normal will force you to go out and meet some girls.
You are not the only one pre... (read in full...)
Can we really live happily ever after when we are so different?
Q. I am wondering can two people who are so different stay together and get things working? Me and my boyfriend have been together for 8 years. We are from different upbringing (his parents happily married for 30 years, mine fought for 20 years an...
A. 20 April 2012: Isn't it possible to buy acres of land in the countryside and then build a home from scratch? There are many modern architecture with shiny appliances in the middle of nowhere.
Don't forget you can learn from each other's differences too. Insp... (read in full...)
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