A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 3 years into a relationship with a guy that was, as I thought at first, the "one" but after the rosy glow of new love wore off there were disappointments and at this stage I love him dearly as a person but I don't think I can handle all the problems he has with finances and kids and ex and he just can't seem to ever get into a position were we can say ok now we're getting engaged and setting a wedding date, it's just one thing after the other.This morning we were chatting on the phone about regular stuff and talking about what fish is good to eat of all things!, when suddenly out of the blue I got this overwhelming compulsion to tell him I'm breaking up with him because the relationship is going nowhere, and I am so disappointed and worn down by all the issues. This was in the middle of a normal conversation, I wasn't fighting with him or anything.It was not just a passing thought, it was a seriously strong feeling out of nowhere and I had to physically put my hand over my mouth to stop the words escaping.Has anyone else experienced this? It was really weird like almost uncontrollable.I don't know if it's some kind of sign?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (29 February 2012):
 What happened is that you have been AVOIDING admitting to yourself that you and this young man need to go your separate ways..... AND during this phone call, all your mental guards (what teases you in to actually believing that you and he are "an item") collapsed.... and so your conscious brain "told" you that you need to go split from him and get on with your life....
Be happy that this happened in ANY way before you got so far in to this mistake-of-a-"relationship" that it was going to be even more mentally/emotionally heartbreaking to face this fact....
Good luck...
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (28 February 2012):
 Actually I have that done to me before, when anything and everything could turn into a break up issue. It was definitely the worst period of my time when I suffered from panic attacks. It is a sign that you should never string someone along and ignore your hunches that this person may not be good for you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 February 2012):
 It is a sign. 1. the honeymoon phase is over, 2. you have realized there is no immediate future with him. 3. you have seen the amount of baggage he has. 4. you are emotionally disengaging yourself from the relationship.
I do think you need to figure out what you want and stick to it.
One thing is to date a guy with financial trouble, toss ex's and kids in the mix and it's start piling up.
There is NOTHING wrong in coming to the conclusion that THAT is more then you are willing to handle/deal with.
Maybe next time stay away from men with cargo containers as baggage?
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