A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I do a lot for my girlfriend and I don't feel like she is doing much for me. She doesn't really ever surprise me, give gifts, or even just little things. It kinda makes me unsure how much she likes me. Her birthday is in 2 days and I'm not sure how much I want to do. Its not really something I want to address right now since its her birthday week. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2014): Well, to be completely honest with you... girlfriend or no girlfriend..... you should not expect gifts and such. I mean just because she does not give you "things" that doesn't mean she does not care about you.
Please keep in mind that material things are just that. Material and nothing more. You should also... never expect such acts. It's just not normal. I mean you could, but then you'll be an asshole. The end. All things should come naturally.
You have to understand that people are different. And no matter how many similarities you seem to have, she's not you... she never will. You either take it or leave it. I'm pretty much "Black and White"girl. Maybe she's the same. Maybe she shows you all of that in another manner.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 October 2014):
 What do you want her to do for you? In your mind, what do you see the perfect girlfriend doing to show her feelings for you??
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 October 2014):
 You should read 5 languages of love, you two might actually SPEAK two different "languages".
YOU show love by gifting her and expect the same in return. She might show love by being supportive and caring.
Love isn't black or white. People show it in a variety of ways.
If you two have ONLY been dating 2 months MAYBE you need to dial the spoiling her down a bit. And if you EXPECT her to buy you things and surprise you - BECAUSE you do it for her, then it's about tit for tat, not exactly romance.
You can't buy love or a good relationships with presents and surprises.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah, I see what your saying. Its only been two months though. So, I'm still figuring her out. She definitely supports me and is caring and stuff, but there's not much actions to back it up.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (22 October 2014):
 I understand reciprocating kindness but everyone loves differently. Also we give to people freely without expect anything back. Ideally we should know we are with the right person before blindly pouring love into it. Is she happy with you, does she listen to you, is she supportive of your dreams, does she get along with your friends and family, etc. If you can't say one thing that she does to love you then I would question this relationship or even suspect she's a user. If you really feel like this relationship is not going anywhere then it does not matter whether you celebrate her birthday. You won't owe her anything if she doesn't have feelings for you.
If she doesn't know what to give you, at least she could ask or by spending time with you, judging your lifestyle she should know what you like. So if she used the excuse such as she doesn't know what to give to you I am afraid it's kind of weak.
I would say celebrate it, have a good time but also prepare that it would be her last birthday with you. Some people can't bring themselves to do that so you have to decide.
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