A
male
age
36-40,
*ocust
writes:I'm doing an update since my post "I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?" (I'm 28 now)and have not post anything for few months. Well I hired a escort and done the deed, and I can my experience was not bad as people made it would be. So far I have no regrets and I may consider visiting the same escort or another one. The girl I saw was a mix of Dutch and German, and she was cool and told her I was virgin. She was a bit pricy cost $ 420.00 for 1 hour.Does this make me look bad?
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male
reader, locust +, writes (28 October 2014):
locust is verified as being by the original poster of the question"Well good luck with a life of escorts."I will!Life too short to try and live the fair tale. Most people here are not paying attention to my replies as I mention my life span is ticking as a disaster looms. On August 24 this year my location had a large 6.0 earthquake which caused damage and we on high alert as we been warned in the up coming months a 6.8 or larger earthquake can strike. OK an EARTHQUAKE, BIG ONE, the destructive kind that wipe out towns and communities in a half of minute. And you guys expect me to wait to the right one comes while I'm already dead from a quake. I live in a disaster prone area! I know you guys are must be living in another world or in a place that does not experience natural disasters.May will enjoy life now while its still intact before it happens. Life could end in a major disaster and still was not getting anywhere with dating so escort was the next best option. So if I should be judged because I used escort then you guys must understand wanting to do certain things in life before you go. And you people must don't live in a disaster prone area. Try living by a earthquake fault line that can take your home away in just seconds and your life.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 October 2014):
 Well good luck with a life of escorts.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 October 2014):
 oh so if you can only meet partners in school I guess that meeting my last three partners didn't happens since I was not in school???
my first husband went to a different school altogether and i met him through a group membership we both had with a large religious organization.
your excuse is classic but it's still an excuse.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (27 October 2014):
 *sigh* I TOLD you guys....
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2014): You can't hire escorts for a date, because it's nto real. If I were you I would not be so defeatist about online dating. Also why not join an evening language or art class?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 October 2014):
 So, OP.... what was the point of your initial question again, please ? would you mind to clarify ?
" Did hiring an escort would make me look bad ( in a woman's eyes ) " ?...
You have already decided / guessed / devined that there will be no women for you, no relationships, and that the adverse circumstances of your present and future life will absolutely prevent you from forming any attachment whatsoever with women.
There's no point in giving you suggestions about how to meet and approach women and where , because you'd just shoot them down as in your previous posts.
You are not open to efforts and changes, and you have already made up your mind that you will have to resort to escorts, and escorts only ,for the rest of your life.
Problem solved then ! You do not need to worry about what a girl would think about your past exploits- since you are so sure you are not going to meet girls anyway .
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male
reader, locust +, writes (27 October 2014):
locust is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ Honeypie: I went through 5 years of college why should I go back to school to try and meet women when it did not work when I attend the first place. That does not make any sense. I have lot of friends and made several female friends so the be honest I don't want another female friend I want something. If I make another female friend I will have made number 15. I'm sick of it. I want something more than just some friend.
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male
reader, locust +, writes (27 October 2014):
locust is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think you girls/women do not understand that life is too short to wait forever. I did wait. I spent 10+ years of my life waiting and I just got sick of it. I was being this nice person and gentleman and still am. But all it does it causes me to get used.
it seem most of you have no read my reply post here I had experience a strong earthquake (6.0 magnitude lasting 20 seconds) that could ended my life and guess what I would had died as a virgin for what just because I'm suppose to wait in line for damn ever looking for a GF even though its clear no woman wanted me anyway before I saw an escort.
When women will realize that LIFE IS NOT EQUAL!!!!! Not every man will have a girlfriend, not every man will get married, not every man will have children. You women keep bringing up this BS fairy tale crap. Stop watching Disney Channel, its not real.
Its true what some guys say, women will never understand what its like to be a guy in my shoes. I'm sure majority of men on here will understand me, forget it ladies you will never understand my background.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 October 2014):
I can't believe you give up on "life" like that. The whole "woe is me" is what's not getting you a GF, not visiting a "escort".
Most women would not want to be with a guy who have had sex with a prostitute. Some women would understand that it's in your past and that you shouldn't be judged sole by whom you have slept with.
The whole - oh I will get "get" a GF now so I might as well.. SERIOUSLY? Pity party for One over there!!
SOCIALIZE - MAKE friends, male, female or which ever DOESN'T matter. Take a class, cooking, photography, finger paint, doesn't really matter, but GET OUT and met people. It won't GIVE you a GF, but you might meet people, make friends and THEN who knows? you might even meet a girl or two to date.
But this DEFEATIST attitude will get you nothing, nada, zero, zilch!
The whole idea of virginity is a social construct. It's isn't a REAL thing. Which is probably why you're STILL in the SAME spot in life you were BEFORE you bought sex. Being a virgin doesn't make you a loser, odd or wrong. IT just means you have FOUND someone to share that experience with. Having SEX with a prostitute isn't the same as having sex with someone you ACTUALLY CARE for and who in turn CARE for you.
I think you still need to find yourself a good therapist. Not because you had sex with a prostitute, but because you view of yourself is tied into your sexual experience. Isn't there MORe to you then that?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2014): Yes, it makes you look bad, at least in my eyes. I would not respect a guy who lost his virginity to an escort, or hired an escort in general.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2014): It would not have made you look bad if you could control your need to share it with others ,,,,as there are many ways to look at this persons choices along with choices there always comes rewards good and bad hum try to add a bit more wisdom would be a good start ...but your an adult and have a job you should learn that women like working men ,,,you should spend your money on classes how to attract a women! But we live and learn I'm not gonna judge you ,be careful out there the world is full of mean people men and women with a chip on there shoulders at times and can get nasty...all these comments on women hookers and so on never one speaks of women hiring men for sex or escort well it happens no bs every day and yup for money...legal or not it is a persons option ...sadly Morality has been tossed out the window along time ago ...how another human feels is just as important as another the path they take to a better understanding please retain what you learn and trim off the fat later...hang in there how you feel about yourself is all that's going to be with you at the end of each day...Ciao
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male
reader, locust +, writes (26 October 2014):
locust is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI probably will be visiting more escorts as I will not be able to meet any girls now. Since I'm done with college I have no place where I can meet women. I don't like going to bars so that is out of the question. So what other places I do have to meet anyone because the options had ran out. Online dating is a joke so I won't go there again.
The main issue for me is how I can meet women since I'm not in school in anymore. I cannot think of appropriate places to meet girls, so I guess hiring escorts for a date will be the only option.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2014): Fair enough, the worry we had htough is that if you had sex with an escort for your first time, you'd carry on doing it and not go out and try to get a girl in real life. Of course she was cool with you being a virgin though, she doesn't care because she's being paid and probably prefers it because you'd last less time. Just don't start confusing visiting escorts for real sexual relationships and not sexual pleasure business transactions.
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male
reader, locust +, writes (25 October 2014):
locust is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis escort offer GFE and she even has an actual job that she does for a living. She works in .......... and holds a ........from University. I hired an escort to experience touch and sex because I have been denied all my life of this natural form of human interaction. I had always been a good guy helping out and open doors for women and let them go first. So cannot say I was not being a gentleman. When I was attending college I talked to different girls but it seem like I get to know them for moment and never gets the chance to advance anywhere. I tried to go for non-American women because I always felt some women want an aggressive guy. I went for shy, quiet girls and no luck. Before my last semester in college I met another girl and we hung out once to play tennis. But after that it seems I’m always the one have to contact first and when I try setup a day for us to hangout she first says I’m busy with work then another she says she has friends from out of town coming. I tried about 6 times and I just gave up and delete her phone number. Guess what I never heard from her. The only time I will hear anything from her I have to text her first. I tried calling her but her only texts. Since the age of 17 and until now this is how my life is with women and this is why I went to an escort.You ladies keep saying I don’t want a relationship and you ladies cannot be further from the truth. I want to enjoy what I got left. Recently if you not heard August 24, 2014 in San Francisco Bay Area we suffered a large 6.0 earthquake. I was wakening 3:20 am with intense shaking; I thought the building was going to collapse on me. So I don’t have infinite life (I could had been killed in the quake) where I can wait for this so called special girl that is some BS fairy tale. Life does not follow fairy tale and yes it’s true not every guy will have a girlfriend (I’m one of those guys). Just some people will always be poor and some will get rich, same applies for relationships.Pursing a relationship will be even harder because I’m not in college anymore since I finished this past summer. so I have no place where I can meet women. Going to bars and clubs is not my thing as I don’t really drink either. It’s just not my atmosphere. So where else I can meet women at I have no clue. I just can’t go to a random woman at the bus stop and say hi and strike up a conversation while waiting for the bus to arrive. So my options are really numbered. Online dating I tried that with POF and that does not work because women get so many messages that mine will be missed.Before bashing me understand critically where I’m coming from.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2014): I would be very upset if I knew my husband paid for sex in a past. By paying for sex men support bad happening all over the world.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (25 October 2014):
From his previous posts I'm willing to bet this never took place so save your breath my fellow Aunts and Uncles,
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (25 October 2014):
 I think escorts are legal, but prostitution is not. Escorts are more likely decent students and prostitutes could be anyone, they could be forced, trafficked or also be in the drug trade. You pay an escort to spend time with you, but you can also have sex with her.
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (25 October 2014):
Consenting adults, though, can't do all the f...k they want just because they are consenting.
In USA prostitution is illegal everywhere but in 11 Nevada counties, and hiring a prostitute is illegal anywhere but those Nevada counties, and classed as a misdemeanour , from petty to aggravated according to the States , and in some it's even a felony. Everywhere laws makes it punishable with fines and / or jail.
Just saying.
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female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (25 October 2014):
I think the experience should be just to get rid of pesky virginity, loosen up and make you acquainted with a woman's body. It's not meant to make you forget about your need for a serious relationship. When you ask if that makes you look bad, that's because you still care about how other women think of you, and feels bad lying to them if they ask you how you lost your virginity. Jack Nicholson never had to ask this question. After a few relationships, he just gave up and never did relationships again. He slept with over thousands of prostitutes. He didn't care if that made him look bad. I think you should at least try relationships to see if that's what you want also. When women hear men hiring escorts, they think they use their bodies, they are misogynists. They rarely think it's because they have self esteem problems and have trouble finding girlfriends. So the people who feel it's bad are the ones who assumes everyone should be able to just get a girlfriend. I don't think to pay to experience sex is a morally bad thing.
If you can afford $420 for an hour, you should make enough money to date a girl. It makes me think you are some highly academic person but having no skills relating to women. But not all women are social either. There has to be a woman for you.
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female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (25 October 2014):
And, if he sees it as a problem, then it is a problem. Not sure why anyone would begrudge him for his adult decision.
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female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (25 October 2014):
Yup, I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. As long as they are both consenting adults and practice safe sex.
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female
reader, jls022  +, writes (25 October 2014):
It would put me right off a man if he'd ever paid for sex, although there may be women out there that disagree. However, I think your biggest issue is still that you're too scared to put yourself out there and try to find a woman that likes you. Now you're talking about paying for another hour with this woman, instead of using the 'confidence' you were supposedly going to gain by having sex for the first time, so all that will happen is you will be poorer and in the exact same boat.
I've answered your posts on numerous occasions, and you are clearly not interested in hearing any proactive advice about how to form a real relationship with a real woman. You also say you have no regrets. Great - if that's the case then you're sorted. But I will ask you why you're here asking out opinion if you believe there is nothing wrong with it?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 October 2014):
 @WhenCowsAttack, do you really think that supporting the sex industry is better than a "poor" man staying a virgin until he gets a proper girlfriend? Or just finds a casual hook-up? You know, him being a virgin wasn't doing him any harm. Being a virgin at 27 does not mean you are doomed to be a virgin forever either, but that's just the sort of thinking that makes young men feel judged for being virgins to begin with. That they somehow are doomed if they haven't had sex at this or that age. Also, just because many others do the same thing does NOT make it morally acceptable. Many men rape, by your logic there should be nothing wrong with raping, because so many men do it already and have done it for years... People should not be demonized, but we shouldn't be ignorant either and not hold anyone accountable for their actions.
Also, as a general question, what is the deal with men feeling so forced to have sex, as opposed to wanting a RELATIONSHIP? Why was the "problem" him being a virgin, and not him not finding a relationship? The way the question was worded makes it seem like all this man cared about was sex (and his actions also prove that to be right). Makes me wonder what is wrong with young men today, if they think a relationship and a woman is not worth pursuing, but women should only be used for sex, and not having had sex (or not having used a woman) somehow makes you less of a man.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2014): WhenCowsAttack, there is a business for kidnapping, threatening, and trafficking people into becoming sex workers because there are millions of men who visit sex workers. Many men (like the OP it seems) prefer to pay less than they have to. Prostitutes who have some autonomy can charge what they want. Exploited people cannot and their exploiters could rent them out to their friends for a discount price or for free.
I myself will always look down on anyone who visits sex workers because they are one reason of many why there is a thriving depraved business like sex trafficking. If there wasn't a market, sex trafficking would not be as prevalent as it is and it may not even exist.
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female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (25 October 2014):
I see absolutely nothing wrong with what you did. It may help you develop social skills and a bit of confidence. Millions upon millions of men have/ do visit sex workers. Personally I don't like the way they are demonized.
To the other posters who are telling him how awful he is- what would you have him do? He was a 27 year old man who never had sex and desperately wanted to. Would you have him just stay a virgin forever? As long as the escort was of age, not trafficked, and they had safe sex, what exactly is the issue?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (25 October 2014):
Has it really only been a few months? And if you actually did pay a woman for sex, which from all your previous posts I highly doubt, then yes not only does it make you look bad, it also makes you look pathetic. Be hey, the bright side is you are rid of that pesky virginity, right?
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (25 October 2014):
Why does it matter to this post that she was a "mix" of Dutch and German? I don't see how classifying people is relevant. I don't see how telling us the cost of your prostitute is relevant either. Yes, going to a prostitute makes you look bad. Sorry, but I am sure you were told this before in the earlier posts. Women in general do not have much respect for a man who has paid to use another womans body.
It comes with the fact that no one likes to be told they can be bought, and made to feel like worthless shit because of their gender. And unfortunately, just because a man can go and buy a prostitute, so many men seem to think they can just buy ALL women they see, women who are not selling their bodies for money. So many men do not make a distinction here, and there have been so many examples of this, that women in general do not like a man who has been to a prostitute, because they have a reputation for not treating women as equals and being misogynist. So, it does make you look bad, because of the general way men who see prostitutes behave.
Also, may I add, buying sex is illegal in several countries, so for anyone from such a country (me included) what you have done makes you a criminal, and thus indeed makes you look bad.
I hope you will do better from here on. Maybe learn that women can not, and should not, be bought. It's a matter of principle. I am sure banging her worked wonders for you, but it damaged your reputation and your morals.
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