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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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It felt like he was trying too hard and I didn't enjoy it
Q. Sex life has beeen a bit up and down with my boyfriend lately for a variety of reasons - stress, tired, diet, living at home with his parents, masturbation lol. So we had a talk about putting more effort in (mostly from his part). last night we had ...
A. 29 November 2014: Breast size is affected by your monthly cycle. Maybe you lost weight due to diet? There are times you may feel like nothing is right however your boyfriend wants to be appreciated by his effort even when you are not feeling 100%. You should let go ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to flirt?
Q. OK, so let me give you a bit of background. 25 year old male, was very shy and socially awkward as a teenager but I've improved so much over the last year. My way of getting over being socially awkward was just to be very friendly and polite to ...
A. 29 November 2014: Your objective here is to hook up or date someone. You are thinking flirting is a prerequisite to it, or to show interest and gauge an interest. There are people who flirt but not follow up with real action and that can be confusing as well.
F... (read in full...)
He lied - should I confront him?
Q. theres a guy i like n he likes me or so i thought we were supposed to be seeing each other and going out tomorrow , he said for a joke about going on a dating website he knew i wasnt happy about that and he said he wasnt really , ive just discovered ...
A. 29 November 2014: You've been dating for a few months and he is still not committed. Still it's not a nice thing to joke about, especially when he knows you don't like it. That means he knows you want more than what he's giving you.
You should say to him that if h... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being blindsided by being told stuff I've done wrong
Q. I have no clue how to respond or handle my girlfriend. She has this habit of blindsiding me when I least expect it. We will spend a few days in a row together and I will think everything is great and amazing. Next thing I know, I'm waking up to a 10 ...
A. 27 November 2014: First thing I would tell you is that you are a good boyfriend and did nothing wrong. It must be torturous to have a brain like hers, always suspecting people trying to hurt them. She is not very trusting and not able to turn off the negative voices ... (read in full...)
I don't know if I like him or like the idea of being in a relationship
Q. Hi, I am finally dating a guy I liked for so long. I feel great being around him but lately I've been doubting if I'm attracted to him. He's gorgeous and am attracted to him but I'm just doubting little things like I didn't like the way he ...
A. 27 November 2014: It's the opposite. You don't like the idea of being in a relationship but you like him. You like what you can't have so now you have him the chase is gone. Being in a relationship requires appreciating what you've got, warts and all.... (read in full...)
How do I communicate my feelings to my husband without feeling negativity?
Q. Hi Agony Aunts, Firstly I need some advice and I'm in great need of help. My husband and I love one another greatly but my depression is driving us both crazy and also making him sad. I was sexually abused multiple times in my life I was moles...
A. 27 November 2014: Yes you need to be surrounded by positive people and not those who remind you of the incident, blame you for it or tell you how you didn't handle it right. While I think it's unrealistic that you just move on from the past and not feel anything ... (read in full...)
I need to know if he's cheating -- and how to find out?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for almost four years. Ive always had this screaming thought that he was doing something wrong, hiding something from me. A couple years ago I found an open condom wrapper in his car (a condom he didnt use with me). When I ...
A. 26 November 2014: There's a lot of spook factor in this post it's not funny at all. I don't know of anyone who smear body liquids on their hands then press it on the wall. You searched the ceiling too? Is there a bunk bed? If the handprints did not belong to him, a ... (read in full...)
She seems easily distracted during our lovemaking
Q. I would appreciate some insight (help) from some ladies. I am in a relationship that is going well in almost every way. We are getting pretty serious but I have a concern. I am 56 and she is 52. We have had an active sex life but she doesn't seem...
A. 26 November 2014: Isn't it hard to be a man? If you don't help her achieve orgasm, you are selfish. If you care too much about orgasms, you have a big fragile ego. As long as you both enjoy sex, that's what it matters. Some women take a long time to orgasm and they ... (read in full...)
What's the deal with this girl I met online? Is she pissed at me? Buyer's remorse? Or is it simply a change of heart?
Q. Hey everyone, So, I met this girl on OKCupid. I made a profile with a contrejour picture (basically a picture with the shadow of a person against the sun) and was fooling around with the website. Then we struck and conversation and she suggeste...
A. 26 November 2014: I think she wants to see if you are able to adjust to her fast paced, unpredictable lifestyle. She doesn't want to fall so soon and have a burn out. One thing you know is, she is not boring and you will have fun each time but it comes a time when ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm in limbo since he doesn't think I'm ready for marriage
Q. Boyfriend wants to get married in the future. But he's a big believer in being happy in yourself. He thinks that I believe that getting married will make me happy. But he says that getting married won't change anything and that I have to be happy ...
A. 26 November 2014: He's feeling the pressure of meeting financial goals so to deflect you from being impatient he turned the issue on you. Since finances are either there or not, it's visible but the concept of happiness is relative and can be vague, he is using this ... (read in full...)
My wife won't have sex with me anymore and won't tell me why not
Q. I think the title says it all. We have been married for 7 years, together for 10 years, and the sex went from twice a night (which is normal in a honeymoon phase) to never over the course of 2 years. Over the last 5 years we have not had se...
A. 26 November 2014: I don't think it's about emotional needs or orgasms. If sex used to feel good and had been a way to connect it shouldn't just stop for no reason. There are sensitive nerve endings inside the vagina. It does not mean bad sex when there is no vaginal ... (read in full...)
I like him but I don't think he'll make a move! What should I do?
Q. What should I do about this guy? Does he like me? So my brother invited me to his church convention and there was this guy there I liked. I found he is my brothers close friend at church. After the convention on the coach coming back this w...
A. 25 November 2014: I think the woman at the convention did the set up out of a caring heart, but little did she know that setting people up can cause a lot of awkwardness because it puts people in the spot light, it draws unneeded attention which he might not ... (read in full...)
Seeing a picture of my ex with a new girlfriend makes me feel like I've been punched in the Tummy!
Q. I was with my ex for 8 years. We broke up around 18 months ago, it wasnt a nice break up but we cut all contact and havent spoken to him since. He pops into my head every now and then but thats all. A few months after we seperated i met someone ...
A. 25 November 2014: It's just a competition thing. You were with him for 8 years and got no ring while she got it after just a year or so. Even though he may not be the guy for you, your head only calculates what you didn't get out of.
It doesn't have to mean a thin... (read in full...)
What's the deal with this girl I met online? Is she pissed at me? Buyer's remorse? Or is it simply a change of heart?
Q. Hey everyone, So, I met this girl on OKCupid. I made a profile with a contrejour picture (basically a picture with the shadow of a person against the sun) and was fooling around with the website. Then we struck and conversation and she suggeste...
A. 25 November 2014: I don't think you did anything wrong. I think she's either exhausted because she didn't sleep last night, or she's working. She could have waited until there's a train taking her back. If she had to hitch hike that could mean she didn't want to miss ... (read in full...)
New to dating in my 30s and I don't understand the blowing hot and cold
Q. I am recently divorced after a tumultuous marriage that began in my early 20s and I am finally ready to date again. I am finding that the women I date and get somewhat interested in all seem to have one characteristic which is that they all star...
A. 24 November 2014: They could be dating other guys at the same time, or they are just into free meals. It sucks to be waiting for texts, wondering what a guy's thinking so may be they date and date, until they find a guy who commits right away (yes there are such ... (read in full...)
Confused, but better than most!
Q. I have been married for 8 year and have known my wife for 10. I have a near photographic memory and remember many things that people tell me. 10 years ago I contracted an STD from my wife. She found out she had it from a medical checkup. No big ...
A. 24 November 2014: If an apology is something that makes you feel better, then it's best that you communicate in a way that does not make her feel attacked and slut shamed. You have problems with lying and being tricked into thinking she was a different person. I ... (read in full...)
How can I manage being the good stepmother despite the poison his ex pours into their childrens' heads!
Q. Hi everyone Hope you can give me some advice on my situation..bear with me though as it's quite a long one! I am due to be married next year, my fiancé is a good man, we have been together 3 years etc. he has 2 kids from a previous relationshi...
A. 24 November 2014: I think your children love you but are afraid to show it. Your fear comes from going ahead with this marriage and being unappreciated, and feeling like a second class citizen in 'dad's house.'
If I were in your position I would be tempted to say ... (read in full...)
My mum is ruining my life!
Q. First of all, I’d like to say that I am not a native English speaker so please, forgive my spelling mistakes! Sooo, here is the story. I am 24 and I live at my mother’s place with my younger sister (16 years old) – and no father - after spending 6...
A. 24 November 2014: You don't have to do crazy stuff but you shouldn't have to be stuck at home every day though. Do you what you have to do to satisfy your need for companionship and to socialize. She is taking out her pain on you because she is sick, but is up to you ... (read in full...)
I found out my wife worked as a prostitute
Q. I got married 6 months ago. After marriage i found out my wife i Was a prostitute im just shell shocked. I dont know how to cope with it? Im just gone mental. I told her how treeible im feeling roght now and i told her to end this marriage...
A. 23 November 2014: It's not impossible for you to forgive her misrespresentation and move on from this. It takes mental discipline and it helps you love her for many qualities she has and that she is so much more than her past. But I think you will eventually divorce ... (read in full...)
Still trying at 38! Never been in a relationship
Q. I am a 38 year old British male, I was wondering if anybody has any advice that works, I have never been in a relationship with a woman in my entire life. I have tried 12 different dating sites wasting thousands of pounds, I have been to speed ...
A. 23 November 2014: I would give it a shot and say improve your dating profile such as smiling pictures, having a good breaking the ice lines that guarantee a response. Or even trying international brides. You have to know what kinds of trait drive a woman crazy. ... (read in full...)
He has an explanation for everything but I still have trust issues
Q. Hi..I am having a very difficult moment when I am not longer know who I am..I am with this guy for 8 months and I felt in love very fast and we moved together after 3 months..we share everything and we both help each other..the bad thing is I am ...
A. 23 November 2014: It would help if you knew the context of the text messages, the more important thing how HE responded to those. I don't think from this post there is hard evidence that he cheated. It may have looked like he hid the make up bag to erase all evidence ... (read in full...)
Am I moving on too quickly, rebounding, or what?
Q. Hi, it's been three long years since I've been here, but last time I was here I was talking about possibly getting with my lab partners let's call her "Vicki". We were in a relationship for the past 3 years and it just ended 3 months ago. We e...
A. 22 November 2014: I would say three months is enough time for some. I myself took a year off being single after a break up. There is no strict timeline of when a person gets over an ex and getting ready for another relationship. The problem is you jump into bed with ... (read in full...)
Is he scared to get close or not interested?
Q. Seeing someone I can't read. It's frustrating. He got jealous when he heard a guy was interested in me and kept bringing it up. Then all of sudden he started to mention a girl that he saw was hot. He acts like he doesn't like me other times then ...
A. 20 November 2014: He is scared of both rejection and getting close. He is interested otherwise he won't be contacting you every day. He is also acting cool so you won't think he is desperate. He could really be busy this time. In a guys' brain, he might even think ... (read in full...)
Fear and lack of experience keep me from getting to know girls
Q. At age12, I began having trouble with girls and over the next couple of years I feel like I lost every female friend I had, including one who I'd known from age 5. That is a very long story but I attribute what happened there with my first ...
A. 20 November 2014: Your need for experience actually works against you because every time you talk to a girl you focus so much on not being rejected that you lose perspective of what interacting with females is about. You only need one girl in your life, at one time ... (read in full...)
Didn't expect the father's reaction when I told him about the baby
Q. I had a baby in September. i had gone through my entire pregnancy without telling anyone i was pregnant. in retrospect, it was kind of a bad idea but in my defense, i was terribly confused and overwhelmed. once i had the baby, my family became i...
A. 20 November 2014: This is all a shock to him . At first he was in denial. For these few days he's thinking why you haven't told him. He's having to make a major life adjustment since he's responsible for the baby half the time. He has reasons to doubt it's his. He ... (read in full...)
Dreams have rekindled a wish to see him.
Q. I had a dream about a boy I used to see. I'm in a long term relationship now and I'm happy (I thought). I've always held a soft spot for this previous boy. I don't mean I love him. We were never serious and he could be quite unpleasant to me at ...
A. 19 November 2014: It's better if you don't make it bigger than it is. We all grow up and are curious about how others are doing too. There is though, a divide between people's opinions on whether it is okay to catch up with previous lovers. Your dream can highlight ... (read in full...)
Is he horrible or mentally ill?
Q. I've been seeing my boyfriend for two years and it was great for 6 months but then something horrible happened to me and I became extremely depressed. My partner helped me through that although at times it was awful, I didn't know if it was all my ...
A. 19 November 2014: He is both horrible and mentally ill. Don't have to worry about the official label. I think he's only comfortable when you feel low and can berate you. Once you want to do something active with him he couldn't stand the stress. I actually have to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend goes to the pub after he visits me
Q. Hi there everyone Just looking for some advice as to know I am over reacting or not. I have been in a relationship for 2 years with a lovely man. We see each other 2-3 times a week but he'll stay one night a week, midweek. The other times, ...
A. 17 November 2014: You are not overreacting but I don't think he's deserting you at night either. Maybe it's his long time habit to go to the pub because he goes home just to sleep. You've been with him 2 years so you know him pretty well already to trust him. Not ... (read in full...)
Stability vs. Excitment
Q. I find that we, humans, seem to have a nature of wanting things that we don't have sometimes to a point where we are hurting people along the way just to get it, because we don't know how to appreciate them when it is already in front of us. But ...
A. 17 November 2014: Sometimes happiness is not something you can choose to be. It is a state of being. It depends on your personality. Some are more adventurous while some like routine. I think the kiersey temperament sorter or other personality test could predict how ... (read in full...)
Does she want a serious relationship or not?
Q. I've been dating a girl for almost a month now and I don't know if she wants us to have a serious relationship or not, she is giving me mixed signals. One minute she's dropping hints about me possibly moving in and living with her, the next minute ...
A. 17 November 2014: At the first month one can only tell you what their intentions are but no one can be sure whether that long term person is you. I don't think she is necessarily giving you mixed signals. She is just considering future options, and not having the ... (read in full...)
How do I put this guy in his place? I need a good ultimatum line
Q. Hey Aunts So I have a crush on this guy for a while , back then he was mostly talking about his ex gf but the day his present gf came down (before that he referred her to me as an ex), he told me that they were just going to meet up and catch up....
A. 16 November 2014: I don't think the ultimatum here is "it's her or me". Rather, you just want him to be honest with you since he's taking advantage of your crush. He thought that by referring her as an ex it would make you hope that you could get with him. That ... (read in full...)
Can a relationship work when it starts with sex on the first date?
Q. Does sex on first date ever lead to a relationship? I met "Al" two weeks ago and the connection was amazing. We didn't want the date to end so we hung out on his roof and then, his place. One thing led to another and we slept together. I have NEVER ...
A. 16 November 2014: Yes a relationship can work. I am always on the safe side, like waiting at least on the first date but this already happened. What I might have said to him was "I know we did it so early but I want you to know that my intentions are good and I am ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend never wants to go anywhere with me just always wants to be at home. Is this normal?
Q. Hey everyone so I've been having the longest problem with my boyfriend. Here lately my boyfriend won't go with me any where he says its not true but every time I've asked him to go anywhere with me he says no. Now my mom is in the hospital and has ...
A. 16 November 2014: You said lately this has been happening so I would be tempted to ask what changed. Maybe he got longer work hours or is stressed out from somewhere. It sounds like you've been dating for a while, and he doesn't see your mom as a future in law, ... (read in full...)
How to stop loving my teacher?
Q. So I've had this teacher since my freshman year, we hit it off almost instantly and became pretty close. (not in a weird or inappropriate way, just a teacher-student friendliness) We talk every school day, and we get on so well. We have a similar ...
A. 16 November 2014: You have to look at this feeling for what it is. As we grow up we need guidance from role models. Sometimes we romanticize these relationships. After you graduate and dive in the real world you might realize your feelings for her would not be the ... (read in full...)
I cant get my crush out of my head and don't know where its going
Q. Dear Cupid. I really hope you can help me. Im in a long term relationship but lately ive been having doubts about where it is going. Ive also just started a new job in the past few months and met a guy who ive developed a massive crush on. I have ...
A. 16 November 2014: If you don't know whether to continue with your relationship, then focusing on other people isn't going to help with your decision. It just becomes a distraction. I think you are having a crush because you are not getting what you want from your ... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend think he's too old for me and is using my health issue as an excuse to end things?
Q. My boyfriend of 3 months is a director of a company where he entertains potential customers at his house and as I am his partner he says that he expects me to come and help him, 3 weeks ago I had a IBS episode during one of these evenings and I said ...
A. 16 November 2014: Is that the guy who got asked by your family about his age over and over again? I would say he has insecurities and he's projecting them onto you. I knew someone with IBS. It's a constant discomfort and your boyfriend make it sound like you had a ... (read in full...)
How do I continue with this relationship with my married boyfriend when I have periods of doubt creeping in around his ability to be faithful to me?
Q. Hello DC Friends. I could use your advice. Not judgement or answers which predict future behaviour and outcome. None of us knows what will happen with certainty. And let us remember that not every man is the same nor is what they do nor is every ...
A. 15 November 2014: I don't know if he talked about divorce or had you demanded more than just being a mistress.
You are thinking far ahead. Okay I get that he can be in a sexless, roommate situation with his wife. He is staying for the kids and for health insu... (read in full...)
I have the hots for the amazingly hot baby sitter
Q. I have an amazingly hot baby sitter, she is new to my family, just me and my daughter, but I have known her sister for while now. How do I find out if she has any interest? I wont lie I would love to see her in more ways than just my baby sitter. I ...
A. 15 November 2014: If she is wild and up for that she would have been an escort not a babysitter. You get a babysitter because you want to date and have sex. In this case it's not a good idea to kill two birds with one stone or you would lose a babysitter. Both dates ... (read in full...)
My guy even takes his phone into the shower! Whats going on?
Q. Ok so almost every morning before my guy goes to work I'll catch him looking on his phone and then get out of bed. Either going to the bathroom or in the kitchen. After awhile he'll either shower or stay gone for some while. I know he's masterbating ...
A. 15 November 2014: Some couples like to look at porn together but for your boyfriend it is a private activity. I would say he is not being discreet if you know all about it. There is no place for denial if he leaves evidence everywhere.
If I were you I would tort... (read in full...)
I'm afraid if I tell my crush I like her she won't talk to me anymore
Q. I have had a crush on a girl in my college for about 3 and a half years now.(we both are 16) we talk a bit like casual hi-hello( though I am always the one to approach her) . I never told her I liked her but I think she figured it out by the way I ...
A. 15 November 2014: If you are sure she doesn't like you then telling her you like her would achieve nothing. However you can gauge her interest by asking her to have lunch with you and have longer talks. The reason why it is a crush is because you don't know much ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend complains that I don't see her but I have to work!
Q. Me and my gf been going out for 2 years. We have struggled with money but now have finally found jobs. I am not happy with my job however I want to make the most of it. I work Monday to Friday 7.30-5.30 am And second job is Monday t...
A. 15 November 2014: You said babysit her, that says a lot about how you feel about her. She is acting as a 19 year old but you feel such a difference being 5 years older. She had the anticipation built up and was met with disappointment. When she was crying she was not ... (read in full...)
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