A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So this question goes primarily out to guys, but girls can answer as well. I am 16 and have been dating my girlfriend for 7 months. And for some reason I'm finding myself not being as attracted to her. At first I didn't know why, but as i looked into it more i noticed a few things. She's gotten a tad bit bigger (as in a little taller and bigger boned) and has put on a tiny bit of weight, she doesn't have to amazing scent she used to have, and she barely trys to look good for me anymore. My question is, how can the relationship go on if i'm feeling the physical aspect of it dying down? I know its normal and all but should i talk to her about it? Any advice helps. Thanks. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): find things to mkae your relationhip fun like you guys did the first months, go out every weekend and learn even more things about her! find out things you didnt know before and see what happens!
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (19 October 2010):
 First off don't talk to her about it because it will make her feel bad and I know you don't want to hurt her feelings. If you do break up with her and she asks why just tell her that you don't feel the same way for her any more and leave it at that.
I would just end it with her because I don't think you are at the point in your life where your marry someone. You're looking for a fun, physical, yet meaningful relationship and she isn't doing it for you anymore. Atleast you're not dragging it out trying to force yourself to love her.
Its true that sometimes guys and girls get lazy when they are in a relationship and just don't care about their appearance because they have someone. I don't think it matters what time of the month it is because the truth is if you look like crap then you'll feel like crap so if it is the time of the month for the girl (and this would not explain a continued weight gain and carelessness in apearance) then wear something you look as good as possible in, it'll help you feel better. I always try to look good even when I go to work to get dirty because you feel better when you do.
Anyway I applaud you for your honesty in your feelings and I know that you will take hers into account if you decide to end it with her.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (19 October 2010):
 No, you shouldn't talk to her about it. She is going to think you are the type who finds excuses to run after the infatuation period, a period when your senses are heightened. She is still growing. I would assume she doesn't have a high paying job so who's going to buy her a second round of nice clothes? A woman doesn't always look good during the month. You maybe catching her at the lowest point of the month, meaning it could be pms or her period. What you mentioned here could barely be described as a dying down of the physical aspects. Unless you have money to spend on her then you should just keep things to yourself. I hope I don't need a monthly supply of a $60 bottle of pheromones just because my boyfriend lost that feeling from the beginning. He would be the one that has to buy it.
Do you love her? She's the same person as before, and she is going to be more beautiful than ever.
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