A
female
age
51-59,
*milingjules
writes:It is Friday night and I am sitting home with tears. I had two offers for dates tonight, (both with advanced degrees) I am in love with someone who I can not have. Well, I should say he is shy. His body language says one thing and he does something else. When we are around each other, always in a professional setting, he always gets close enough to listen in on my conversations but rarely joining. He looks down or away from me when I get close but I think it is to hide his dilated pupils. Always very courtous. He always faces me (shoulders and feet), he gets nervous when I talk to men. We seem to have so much in common. I have watched how he acts with other women and it is not the same. He told me he is single, never been married. I have seen him once in three months. He is a pisces and I am a leo. I have tried to ask to join me for a drink and he never gave me an answer. He has kept himself so mysterious. He is a clinical psychologist so I have a hard time believing he doesnt know how to communicate. (I was never a patient yet I met him taking a class with him in a university setting.) I am five years older than he, I am attractive,I have class,I am secure with myself, and have a pleasant personality (I genuinely smile 90% of the time.) Men tell me a radiate a sexual energy (not a sleezy one) Looks on a man are a very small portion of what is important to me. My friends put him barely a 5 out of 10.I can not find another guy who pulls me like he does. I should say, a man who challenges me. Men are not a challenge for me. It was always an intellectual flirtatious game with him. I know he is not as alpha male as he portrays himself to me to be. It is endearing that he would do that but I could see through it. My gut says he knows that as well. This is how I am spending my friday night, ugh! I wish I could give the thought of him up. Everytime I go on a date I end up sitting there wondering what it would be like to be on a date with him. I stopped datig all summer so I could pull myself together. I started dating agian in September trying to move past him and yet I am still yearning for him. Can you give me any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): Get into another face to face convo with him and have a pleasant chat then at the end ask him out. I worry about ur emotion here as I find it a little distraught. Easy doll. This guys seems interesting and so do you, just take a little initiative here and things will be okay. Good luck :)
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (6 November 2010):
 Why do you not just ask him to go to dinner with you and narrow his options so he cannot get away with remaining completely silent. It is either a yes or a no.
This is a little far fetched but I do suspect it may be a limerence of sorts that he s feelings. This may explain why he plays such games with emotion or mentality. I suggest you try to talk to him a little bit more and make it absolutely clear that you are interested in him so that his own mind cannot deny it and he can cease playing his games and you can stop fantasizing that your date was this man. Good luck.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (6 November 2010):
 Maybe if you knew him you wouldn't be in love anymore. I assume the last time you saw him was more than 2 weeks ago. Don't give too much credit for psychologists. They are well read. They know how to talk to their patients but when it comes to themselves, very few men can express themselves as fluently as women do. I believe a single psychologist would not be as convincing as a married one. A single person misses the opportunity to learn about the opposite sex through living together, raising children and handling finances together. A clinical psychologist may help a lonely college girl feel well, tell her to reconcile with her childhood, etc. There is more to a romantic relationship. He may feel insecure about his inexperience. A psychologist is not an alpha male job as a lawyer or a ceo. I think he is extremely shy. He probably has been single for a long time so plunging himself into a relationship (and you really sound like you are ready for a serious one) is very scary for him. He would rather retreat to what's familiar to him all his life than experience an inner earthquake. There must be a reason why you are attracted to mysterious men. The combination of mysterious and shy does no good for you. They say mystery adds excitement in life, but when mystery reaches a point when you can't even talk to him, it's dead to begin with.
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