A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am a professional and I have had two jobs in my profession that have spanned over the last 10 years. for some reason I just seems to attract bullies.I have done much research on bullying in the work place and I understand why people bully - its often because they are incompetent or jealous or a general misfit in their private life. There are a whole host of reasons.I have had to walk away from my £42,000 p.a. job because I was targeted by a bully who I managed who was very insecure in herself and totally incompetent, trying to do a job that was far too big for her. I ended up being put up for a disciplinary hearing as that bully fabricated a host of lies and encourgaged a number of other people to back it up.I brought the culture of the working environment to the attention of the CEO and rather than address the issues, he felt it was best if I left and he would help me do so with an untarished reference and advance pay.Three months on, I am still out of work. I have just had to sign on for the first time in 15 years while the bully continues being paid a lot of money for bear incompetence.Does any one know what happens to evil people such as these. Can you share your experiences. I know the job before last, the guy who bullied me can now scarely walk! LOLthank you for your time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2010): Hi again. That is good about your CEO offering to be a mentor. Take him up on it for sure. Bullys smell fear/insecurity. The people in work who have been the nastiest to me are the ones I go out of my way to smile and greet each day. They are also the ones I act most agressively and cooporative to...it confuses the s$&t out of them and they move on:). Best of luck again, take care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses. I do believe I can be a little distant. I must admit I have been having problems with my family as a result I avoid people to avoid them picking up on the fact that my personal life was not right. But then loads of people have their own domestic issues.
I felt totally alone in this organisation as the HR manager was a natural bully and was totally not doing her job right compared to my previous job. My first manager had been bullied before and came in with that instilled in her.
I do belong to an organisation where they support ethnic managers and have been trying to speak to someone about it.
I believe my CEO was not being nasty but cruel to be kind. I left with an excellent reference and he has voluntaried to mentor me in a few months time. We departed with great warmth between us and will probably remain friends.
Thanks again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): Hi,
It is truly awful thst you have found youself in this situation. I really find it hard to believe your boss suggested you walk away, how very inappropriate. You are correct in noting that companies culture allowed this to happen. I have had people attempt to bully me in the workplace. When a peer attempted it, I formed bounds with his close allies by finding out about their personal interests and making time to chat with them about it. That didn't stop them from continueing to try to bully me but others just wouldn't take him seriously or back him up. I also had an employee who was pretty nasty. He was underperforming and work dodging. He attempted to put the blame back on me, I wasn't supportive, he didn't have the training. His workload was too high etc. He would turn up late to our staff meetings and refuse to give his updates or make snide comments under his breath. So I documented everything. Made very visible attempts to upskill up and manage his workload and had a monthly performance review meeting with him where I outlined what was and was not acceptable behaviour from him. He quickly turned around. I had the support of my manager and hr team at that time and that was so important.
Do you have formal training or do you belong to any organisations that help develope managers? You may do better in another company or you may see old patterns recur. Trying different approaches in your management style will get different results ( thats why trsining/ support networks are helpful).
Best of luck finding something new. There is something out there for you, keep your chin up.
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female
reader, Miss Taterbutt  +, writes (2 November 2010):
 It must have been hard to walk away from your job. Nothing of that sort has happened to me, but a friend of mine/former co-worker, quit, because a fellow employee continuously harassed her on the job, outside of work, and over the internet.The other employee, who happens to be a back-up manager, went to the lengths of retrieving the girl's schedule, and giving it to her friends, so they could come our workplace and harass her as well. Online, too.My friend informed the police and one of the Assistant Shift Managers, and neither did anything to help her with the issue. She put in her two weeks notice, and eventually quit before it was even up, because she couldn't bare with the crap the other employee was giving her.It's a shame how those in higher positions get advantages that those underneath them don't. Too many people are unable to pay for legal assistance, so it's a complicated situation to be in.Good luck on everything, though. I hope all works out with you.
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reader, janniepeg  +, writes (2 November 2010):
 To tell you the truth, those people get to the top but inside they are miserable. Not all CEO's are psycopaths but the smart ones who aren't in jail are the ones who step over others to get what they want in a sneaky way. You could just tell they have trouble with family because they are not able to empathize. They are calculative and they don't have the ability to feel bad for what they have done. A part of their brains is missing. In my previous job, no one liked my boss, he was basically a pest. He got transferred to our department because no one likes him so they decide it's better for him to deligate jobs, to sit around than to cause conflict working with others. His daughters hate him. Even when she was giving birth in the hospital he didn't visit her but instead complained why she didn't call him after the baby was born.
Sometimes it's better to be a happy slave than be a miserable boss.
You can't have sympathy towards evil people. They are basically not human, but rather like a rock in your shoe.
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