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... Send *irtball a private message | | | *irtball's profile:Hello DC. Some of you may be wondering where I were I went. My life has taken a turn that has taken me away from here for the time being. I'm not really answering many questions at this time. If you PM me, I will respond, but it may be delayed a week or two. I had many problems dumped on me of my own, so I don't have much energy for the problems of others. I'll be back, but it just may be a while.
Wow, been away longer than anticipated. To sum it up, life sort of sucks for me at the moment. Not looking for pity, just letting you know why I haven't been around. I still hope things will get better soon, but who knows.
ALERT: If you're sending me a PM in regard to advice I've given you, please reference the thread or specifics so I can be on the same page. Lately I've been receiving lots of PM's with an answer to some question I asked, but since the question was from an Anon poster, I have no idea which answer it was in regard to. I give a lot of advice here, so I'm very sorry if I don't immediately recognize you. The question title or a link would be most appreciated. Thank you!
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Hi, I'm the bad bad charming sweetheart dirtball. Although recently I seem to have picked up the moniker "Dirty Balls" despite making sure to clean them thoroughly each day. Anyway, I love this site. I have a BA in Psychology which is part of the reason I think I like this site so much. I posted anon for quite some time before creating my profile. I took to the brutally honest approach which has gotten me in trouble a few times, but for the most part has gone quite well. I enjoy helping people and at times challenging them when I think it is appropriate.
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I've been getting lots of great feedback on my advice and I appreciate it, even if you didn't like it. With that said, I'd like to add a segment here I'll call (drum roll please)
DIRTBALL'S RULES ABOUT PEOPLE AND DATING (in no particular order)
Men don't befriend women who they are not interested in sexually. What do I mean by this? I mean that men will not actively seek out friends of the opposite sex unless they would like to make the friendship progress further at some point. Plain and simple, that's how we operate. Are there circumstances where they are actually just friends? Yes, those would be times when you are forced together in some way. Examples could be; fellow employees at work, a regular customer at work, shared friend circle. The key to watch for is if he looks to spend time with her alone. That's usually the sign that he has a romantic interest in the relationship.
Long Distance Relationships don't work. Go ahead and tell me your success stories, I don't care. Most of the time it is just way too hard for the parties involved. Too much doubt creeps into the relationship. Plus, can you really call it a relationship if you only get to be together rarely? I think not.
Once broken up, you should stay that way. Make up/break up relationships don't work. Why do you always feel the need to break up? It's because things aren't working. Then you miss each other and get back together, only to have the very thing that drove you apart last time do it again. It is a cycle that doesn't get better. All you're doing is preventing yourself from finding someone who will actually make you happy.
People only change if they really (and I mean REALLY) want to for themselves. Changes for the benefit of others are temporary. True change is very hard to make. It requires diligence, effort, and support.
Communication is the most important part of your relationship. So many times we have people here asking about how they should handle a situation when the solution is simply to talk to your partner about it. We forget how important this is. It affects everything. If you are feeling upset about something, it is best that you discuss it with your partner instead of burying it and letting it brew. Later it will explode when it could have just been a calm discussion if addressed right away. Communicate with your partner. If you never talk, why are you even together?
People can love each other and not be right for a relationship. This kind of goes back to the make up/break up rule from earlier but it extends to present partners or exes as well. When someone is part of your life, especially for long periods of time, it is natural that part of the love you carry for them will always be there. Just because you love someone though, that doesn't mean you should be together. That's the case with most of my ex GF's as I'm sure it is with many other people. Sometimes you need to consider if love is making you do foolish things.
You should set ground rules in your relationships. Let your partner know about deal breakers. Deal breakers being defined as things they would do that would cause you to end the relationship. It is good to get these out of the way when you are getting serious. That way, you can refer back to them if your partner does something against said ground rules. An example that I tell all my girlfriends (including friends who I'm not romantically involved with) is that I will never answer the question "Am I fat" or any variation of it (does this make me look fat, does my butt look big, etc). I explain why too. It's a trap question. Answer yes, and that's obvious. Answer no, and "you're just saying that." So I won't entertain that question. I know, silly, but this works for the bigger picture too. Figure out what's important enough to you that you'd be willing to end a relationship. Tell your partner what these things are. If they want to be with you, they should know.
When one person in a relationship has a problem, it's a problem for the relationship. You're not alone in your relationship, and dismissing your partner's problem doesn't solve anything. It makes them feel devalued and unimportant. Why don't you care enough to address something they think is a problem? It's because you know it's a problem but want to hide. Don't hide from it. If you do, it won't go away.
When a relationship ends, you need to give yourself proper time to grieve it. Like dealing with death, you go through the same stages. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance. This is part of the problem with rebound relationships. Take the time you need. Don't be afraid to wait.
Let the past be the past. It's over, it's done, and there is nothing that can be done to change it. There is no use dwelling on it because there is nothing that can be done about it. Don't worry about things that cannot be changed. You can't drive a car by only looking in the rear view mirror.
I'm sure there will be more to come, but these are the few I've seen myself repeat a lot in my rather short time here.
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This is, hands down, the best conversation I've seen about porn yet on this site: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-there-no-middle-ground-when-it.html
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Dirtball Rants:
1) What the hell happened to punctuation and grammar? I blame text messaging for the trash I see people write. It's not the content but the way it's expressed that makes me wonder what's happening to society. I realize that we're a multinational forum here, and I give a complete pass to someone who is doing their best despite the fact that English isn't their first language. But the crap I see from Americans, the British, Canadians, and Australians often makes me sick. If any of you read this, your posts would be much easier to read if you used paragraphs, sentences with punctuation, and whole words instead of abreviations like U, cuz, or wut! Quit being so fucking lazy if you want help.
2) There is a difference between the words your and you're. "Your" denotes ownership. "You're" is the contraction of "you are." Saying something like "your lame" is wrong wrong wrong! The same goes for there, their, and they're. "There" is used for things like places (look over there). "Their" denotes ownership (they wanted their cookies back). "They're" is the contraction of "they are." An example, "they're going to the service station over there to pick up their car which was just repaired." I bet that just blew your mind.
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Abreviations.
I use a lot of abreviations when I type advice so I'm going to start a list of the most common ones I see for use as a reference tool.
OP - Original Poster, the person asking for advice.
BF - Boyfriend
GF - Girlfriend
SO - Significant Other, your BF, GF, Fiance, or spouse in other words.
BTW - By the way
FWIW - For what it's worth
TBH - To be honest
IDC - I Don't Care
IDK - I Don't Know
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
IMO - In My Opinion
IOW - In Other Words
THO - Titty Hard On (erect nipples) |
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Who is being unreasonable in this situation?
Q. I currently own my own condo and moved in with my boyfriend several months ago. My boyfriend also owns his home. Because I currently have a tenant in my condo, I pay my boyfriend $700 per month plus 1/2 the groceries. My tenant's lease is up in a ...
A. 24 January 2011: Good for you! I couldn't agree more. It appears that finances are more important to him than you. That's never a good sign.... (read in full...)
Who is being unreasonable in this situation?
Q. I currently own my own condo and moved in with my boyfriend several months ago. My boyfriend also owns his home. Because I currently have a tenant in my condo, I pay my boyfriend $700 per month plus 1/2 the groceries. My tenant's lease is up in a ...
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You absolutely are, without any piece of it if you should break up too.
You have no financial obligation to him. None. You contribute because it's the right thing to do, not because you have to. I'm wi... (read in full...)
Who is being unreasonable in this situation?
Q. I currently own my own condo and moved in with my boyfriend several months ago. My boyfriend also owns his home. Because I currently have a tenant in my condo, I pay my boyfriend $700 per month plus 1/2 the groceries. My tenant's lease is up in a ...
A. 24 January 2011: ... and not one who nickel and dimes you for things they pick up out of the "goodness of their heart." Sounds pretty bogus to me.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has problems keeping an erection.
Q. Okay i am going to jump into this because i am very concerned with this issue. I have been with my boyfriend J for about six months, we have an amazing relationship but an issue because we cant have sex because he has problems staying hard my...
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I do want to be with him but there's no trust due to her getting pregnant and him leaving me again.
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A. 24 January 2011: Forgive him for what? Getting another girl pregnant? Dumping you? Getting himself arrested?
Of course he's sorry, he's in jail and the girl he was trying to be with put him there... You're the fall back. The safe person he'll use until th... (read in full...)
Who is being unreasonable in this situation?
Q. I currently own my own condo and moved in with my boyfriend several months ago. My boyfriend also owns his home. Because I currently have a tenant in my condo, I pay my boyfriend $700 per month plus 1/2 the groceries. My tenant's lease is up in a ...
A. 24 January 2011: I lean toward him being unreasonable here. It's not like you're on his mortgage. If he wants to be a jerk about it you could always move back into your place.
You should not have to pay to live at two places. Unless you signed a lease with you... (read in full...)
Is there any point in waiting around for something that may never happen?
Q. basically, i was with this lad for about 4 months, then we split up due to an argument that got a little heated, he said some things, i said some things, and well yeah in the spur of the moment, i ended it, but i never realised what a mistake i ...
A. 24 January 2011: He's conflicted. Part of the reason for that is your continued sexual relationship. People think that FWB's are possible, but they aren't for the majority of people out there.
What you need to do is decide what you want. If you want this boy... (read in full...)
Is he just tolerating me for the sake of an easy life?
Q. hello all, i have a quick question and would really appreciate some thoughts on it. im in a long term relationship 11 yrs and my gut instinct tells me that he is just tolerating me for the sake of an easy life , its not anything in particular but i ...
A. 24 January 2011: Someone should love you for who you are, not have their love be contingent upon changes. That's bullshit. That may be his way of showing love, but I think you should look for someone who shows you love in a way that doesn't make you feel worthless ... (read in full...)
He has lost his libido but I cant help thinking it must be to do with me.........
Q. I have been going out with my bf for 2 years and recently he's just stopped being interested in sex. I got a bit upset not because we weren't having any but because it made me feel like he'd lost attraction for me. He explained he just goes through ...
A. 24 January 2011: I think he's telling the truth too. He could be stressed or have other things killing his sex drive too.... (read in full...)
I'd rather make out than have sex, but husband goes straight for the sex!
Q. My husband and I have been together for almost 5 years now. In that time we have had two kids. For those of you who know what its like to have kids, know we have had almost NO time for ourselves. Some where along the lines my husband has stopped ...
A. 24 January 2011: Instead of asking why he doesn't kiss you, tell him how much you love kissing him, and how much his kisses mean to you. When you ask, "Why don't you kiss me anymore?" Guys will get defensive. We often don't know how to answer and the small ... (read in full...)
I really liked him until I saw his teeth!
Q. there was this guy i went to school with that i had the biggest crush on. through facebook we have been back in touch and so far he seems to be the most humble guy and i like him. i had of course not seen him in years so he came by this past ...
A. 24 January 2011: It would be kind of shallow, and it's one of those topics that's a little hard to approach, especially early on. I wonder why, if he is as embarrassed about them as he seems, he hasn't done anything to fix them.
Ultimately, it's the whole pe... (read in full...)
My girlfriend of 18 months tied me up in my sleep -- I was petrified. What do I do moving forward?
Q. My girlfriend of 18 months tied me up in my sleep as a "birthday gift." It was 7 days ago now, and I woke up with my arms and legs handcuffed to the bed posts; I had also been stripped, gagged and blindfolded. I had no idea where I was, my heart ...
A. 24 January 2011: I think you should talk this through. Be very honest about what you felt. Bondage can be a lot of fun, but you need to be safe too, thus safe words and what not. This was rape, pretty plain and simple. You might want to see a councellor. ... (read in full...)
I want my best friends boyfriend
Q. So my best friend's boyfriend is away at uni. They have been together for 2 months now. Me and her boyf are quite good friends.. we text and chat online most days. He has always been quite flirty with me, but i never really thought anything...
A. 24 January 2011: With friends like you, she won't need enemies!... (read in full...)
Lying about porn?
Q. I recently found some hardcore porn on my boyfriends wireless device, which is attached to his computer via the TV. Now - can I just point out that I am no prude and I have no objection to porn, and myself and my boyfriend do not live together...
A. 24 January 2011: I mean, is this part of who he is?
Kind of. It's part of his masturbation ritual, which is part of who he is.
Do I just accept it and try and move on?
If you think you can, then that will make your life easier. For many men, porn is no... (read in full...)
If he really loved me would a 20 minute drive matter?
Q. I'm 15 years old, and I like this guy who just turned 17. He lives in my moms town, 20 minutes away. We both liked each other for almost 3 years, and just recently he told me he loved me, which considering he didn't even tell me that when we dated ...
A. 23 January 2011: Nice, he was texting other girls while you were together. ... (read in full...)
I feel guilty about masturbating
Q. I'm a 17 year old bisexual female. I started masturbating to porn about a year and a half ago and feel so much guilt about it. I'm very ashamed myself, I don't think any of my friends do this. Am I a monster? ...
A. 22 January 2011: You've got nothing to be ashamed of. No worries. It's not something a lot of people talk about, but I'd be willing to bet that more of your friends do it than you think.... (read in full...)
I'm out of his league...Should I care what others think?
Q. I just need to make sure I'm thinking clearly. I'm engaged to a wonderful man who treats me like a princess. He loves me and I love him. Our sex life is good. He's financially stable, (6 figure job, house in the right neighborhood, car, he has no ...
A. 22 January 2011: All that matters is your happiness. Fuck what people may think.... (read in full...)
How do guys know if a girl is good at oral sex?
Q. Ok so to my thoughts i really think i dont know how to give a bj. But every time i give it to a guy they say " Oh ur amazing" or you're a pro". I mean, I really think i suck.. sometimes I think they lie. Last night I was with a guy and he ...
A. 21 January 2011: P.s. if you want an objective opinion, I might know a volunteer. ... (read in full...)
How do guys know if a girl is good at oral sex?
Q. Ok so to my thoughts i really think i dont know how to give a bj. But every time i give it to a guy they say " Oh ur amazing" or you're a pro". I mean, I really think i suck.. sometimes I think they lie. Last night I was with a guy and he ...
A. 21 January 2011: "I really think I suck..."
Lol, honey, that's the point! That's a good thing. Lmao!... (read in full...)
Should I say its my boyfriends baby or tell him I cheated!
Q. I have been having a steady relationship with the same boyfriend for years but he was out of town and a old friend whos a boy came and our old feelings came over us and we had sex! I think I got pregnant too! I don't know what to do , should I say ...
A. 21 January 2011: Nope, you shouldn't lie to him. It would be extremely unfair for him to have to go through that if it's not his.
He will find out eventually. Lies always come out in the end.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my teacher how I feel about him?
Q. Basically I'm in love with my teacher, yeah you've heard it all before I understand, this is just typical, he pays me special attention, touches my body like waist and arms. He makes jokes that can be taken in different ways and says things I could ...
A. 21 January 2011: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/crushes-on-teachers.html
... (read in full...)
What do boys REALLY want in a girl?
Q. so what do boys want in a girl? do they worry more about her being pretty and beutiful so they can show her of to their mates, or do they want her to be funny and have a unique personality? in the real world, they seem to me to think that 'a...
A. 21 January 2011: What age boys? Boys your age are very superficial. Some of them will care about other things, but many are all about looks. As they age though, many of them will learn that looks aren't everything, and your personality will be what really shines. ... (read in full...)
Why does my vagina have a strong, sweet odour?
Q. For about a year or so now, my vagina has had a very strong odour. It's sort of sweet-smelling, but not pleasant. It's not fishy or bread-y, so I don't think it's a yeast infection (but I'm not a doctor, so I'm not 100% sure). I haven't gotten i...
A. 21 January 2011: You should go see your doctor. It could be the symptom of something, but it could just be your natural odor. ... (read in full...)
The answer to all your problems (well most) right here!
Q. I don't know about you guys but there are some questions I see time and time again. How 'bout we answer some of those questions right here and hope that anyone about to post the same question has a quick look at the articles first? 1. Why won't h...
A. 21 January 2011: 11. Am I Pregnant? Take a test and see your doctor
12. Is my penis big enough? The average is just under 6 inches. Most women like average to slightly smaller or slightly larger. It really doesn't matter to anyone but you dude.
13. Wha... (read in full...)
Do I come across as a bitch to my ex?
Q. I had stopped communicating with my ex some 6 months ago after I had tried to see him and I was already dating another guy. The thing is, I was not able to say no to him and he forced me to have anal sex with him. This I regretted big time for 2 ...
A. 21 January 2011: Who cares if he thinks you were a bitch? He was trying to do something he agreed not to. He was a jerk, so to hell with him.
I think you should put him in your rear view and never look back. You cannot remain friends with your ex. He will wan... (read in full...)
I pushed my fiancee into having a boob job and now I regret it
Q. I'll probably get criticised for this............... I always had a thing about boob jobs on women n although my fiancee had nice size breasts and a fantastic figure i constantly went on to her about wanting her to have one. Stupid i know. ...
A. 21 January 2011: Unfortunately I'm unable to share my thoughts without first seeing some before and after pictures. They are definitely necessary to make any real judgement here.... (read in full...)
My urge to try a cigarette!!!!
Q. Ok so there is this girl i used to like who smoked and we used to talk about it and one day i just sort of blurted out can i try one and ever since then i have an urge to try a ciggerette and i still have not. The girl moved away ages ago. I really ...
A. 21 January 2011: I wouldn't bother, but I'm sure you know the risks involved so I won't get into that.
I smoked for a couple of years. I'm glad I gave it up. It's really just a big waste of money. They don't taste that great, they make everything stink, a... (read in full...)
Why did he marry me and not give up on his affair?
Q. the man I fell in love with has been seeing a married woman for 6 years. i have been with him 4.5. we got married l year ago. he keeps calling her and telling her he loves her. he tells me to give him another chance he wont call her any more. ...
A. 21 January 2011: You married him knowing he was a cheater. I know you were hoping he would change, but people don't usually change unless THEY want to, really bad.
He will never break it off with her, you can count on that.... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have sex in public places?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 18 month now. Our sex life is extremely good, we definatly know how to pleasure each other. The first year the relationship was going strong and so was the sex. But after that our feelings for each other ...
A. 21 January 2011: Sex in public is only wrong if someone catches you. It can be a great rush, and a lot of fun.
This alone doesn't mean you guys are continuing on just sex. As long as communication is still good, I wouldn't worry and just enjoy yourselv... (read in full...)
My husband told me to go have sex with someone else!
Q. My husband's libido is not as high as mine and we have had many arguments about it. He has told me several times during the arguments to just go have sex with other people and leave him alone. Should I do this? Does the fact that he only says it ...
A. 21 January 2011: Worse. I would suggest looking for a constructive way to increase his libido. You may find that if you talk with the attitude of trying to solve a problem, he may not feel as attacked. Some therapy may also help.
Unless he likes being cheated ... (read in full...)
My husband is obsessed with porn, we have a second baby on the way, live with his mother, and I had a summer romance!
Q. I am 24 and married to a 25 year old firefighter that is obsessed with sex and continuously is on sex sites, looking at porn, answering personal ads, and talking to and having sex with other girls on a virtual chat site. I am unhappy and have been ...
A. 20 January 2011: WELL THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING!!!!
Oh wait, no it doesn't. That's still an affair. I bet if you asked his wife, she'd agree.
Avoiding problems in your marriage doesn't solve anything. Running to the arms of another is even worse. You two ... (read in full...)
How can I bring my boyfriend to my parent's messy home?
Q. hi! I am a senior in college, and I love my parents, but I cant stand to go home myself. The house is extremely dirty. They say the excuse of working 7 days a week, but I cant stand it. I dated my last boyfriend for 7 years, and he never cared. But ...
A. 20 January 2011: Tell him what to expect and what you're feeling about it. You can't control your parents. He will understand that. You've shown that you're not like that, so he shouldn't hold this against you, at least he shouldn't if he's a good guy.... (read in full...)
What does a woman feel when she rejects a guy?
Q. What does a woman feel when she rejects? Contempt for the guy who tries? A sense of guilt? Pity? Or maybe she has very little thought of why? Or maybe she feels superior? Does she ever think that she may hurt the man? Does she ever think abo...
A. 20 January 2011: Wow, feeling pretty upset huh. Sorry she rejected you dude.
Everyone is different, so different women will feel differently about rejecting a guy. How do you feel when you reject women. Ask yourself these questions. It's pretty much the same... (read in full...)
My husband is obsessed with porn, we have a second baby on the way, live with his mother, and I had a summer romance!
Q. I am 24 and married to a 25 year old firefighter that is obsessed with sex and continuously is on sex sites, looking at porn, answering personal ads, and talking to and having sex with other girls on a virtual chat site. I am unhappy and have been ...
A. 20 January 2011: Cheating with a married man huh? Your hubby has virtual sex with other women while you have real sex with someone else. You sound like a match made in heaven!
Come on. There is a solution for unhappy marriages. I believe it's called divorce.... (read in full...)
AmI just over -reacting or is something wrong here?
Q. I am interested in this guy....he was a very close friend of mine. A few months ago ; when both of us were a bit tipsy , we kissed. Then a week later, we met again and we just couldn't keep our hands off each other. We stay in different cities...
A. 20 January 2011: Be honest. Tell him you aren't feeling it anymore and you'd really appreciate if he didn't push the issue.
It can be just that simple. He might try to argue his case, but stand up for yourself. You're worth it.... (read in full...)
Should I be worried now that my boyfriend is hiding his porn use?
Q. My boyfriend started watching porn when I became pregnant. When I found out, he told me that he was stressed, so he watched porn. After the baby was born, he continued to watch it, saying that he was a grown man and would do what he wanted. He ...
A. 20 January 2011: He hides it because he's ashamed of it and doesn't want to upset you. Little does he know what he's doing doesn't work. That's pretty much par for the course though when it comes to guys. Does it bother you? Does he still please you when you ... (read in full...)
Since we slept together I haven't heard anything from him
Q. Okay so since we slept together last friday i hadn't heard anything from him. Saw him out last night and we spoke for a little bit/texted..with his housemates making obvious digs at me for doing 'wrong'. I contacted him today asking if we should m...
A. 20 January 2011: Odds and the walkin dude have this nailed down! He definitely regrets it. If he didn't, he'd be trying to set something up to meet.... (read in full...)
Online sex dating sites, should I be worried my boyfriend is on it?
Q. I want to know if I should be worried that my BF of 1.5yrs is on an online sex dating site? He has a "standard" account so he can't send emails to women, only send "winks" or add them to his "hotlist". Why do guys feel it necessary to be on online ...
A. 20 January 2011: I'd say he's checking options, or surfing the pictures. You've got to be a member to see profiles on most of those sites, so that could be a reason. If he watches a lot of porn, that can get boring, so seeing whats available for real in your area ... (read in full...)
Do I yank on my chain too much?
Q. I have been masturbating since i was about 12 and i am now 15 almost 16 year old male. Both men and women turn me on but mainly men. I masturbate 10-12 times a day and inwas wondering if that is to often? Just a thought. ...
A. 20 January 2011: 10-12 times a day does seem compulsive. Do you feel an overwhelming urge to masturbate so much? I guess I'm asking if you're in control of your behavior or if the behavior controls you.... (read in full...)
AmI just over -reacting or is something wrong here?
Q. I am interested in this guy....he was a very close friend of mine. A few months ago ; when both of us were a bit tipsy , we kissed. Then a week later, we met again and we just couldn't keep our hands off each other. We stay in different cities...
A. 20 January 2011: I don't either. I think there may have been something if you two could have had regular contact, but as it stands, I think you made a good decision putting an end to this. Especially since he was doing things that make you uncomfortable. That's ... (read in full...)
Am I be controlling by not wanting my boyfriend to meet up with his ex?
Q. I went out with my boyfriend the other night for something to eat and a couple of drinks, we ended up having a heart to heart and he said to me 'If (his ex) ever asked me to hang out with her one day would you mind?', I was a bit tipsy at this ...
A. 20 January 2011: That's not selfish at all, it's looking out for what's best for someone else. That's the opposite of selfish.
I hope he realizes what he has in you before he does something stupid. Best wishes.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend hides texts from her "friend"!
Q. I've been with my partner for a little over a year now and we live together. She is 7 years older than I am, but all in all I would say we have a great relationship; I really love her and she tells me that she loves me all the time. However recently ...
A. 20 January 2011: I'm glad you talked. I hope she can prove that she's worthy of your trust.... (read in full...)
I'm ashamed of what people would think if they knew I've never had a relationship. How can I interact more successfully with guys?
Q. I'm 17 years old, turning 18 and i never had a boyfriend. I never even went out on a date or kissed a guy. A lot of guys have asked me out especially these last few months, but i always said no beacause they're just not my type, apart from one guy. ...
A. 20 January 2011: Just keep in mind, guys talk. If you turn everyone down, they are going to suspect you're either too stuck up or a lesbian. Then they'll stop asking.
Don't be so hard on yourself. That's also one of the things that is causing this situatio... (read in full...)
I lost my girlfriend and my baby boy because of World of Warcraft!
Q. hi could someone help me, my life is a mess because of WOW - i lost my gf and my baby boy.. i never use to be like this i changed a lot .. all this started 3 years ago my life was fine i used to go out do everything work a lot like 13 hours a day ...
A. 20 January 2011: Saying you'll change is easy. Doing it is much harder. Show her you've actually changed and you may have a chance. Anything short of that though and you'll never get her back.... (read in full...)
Am I be controlling by not wanting my boyfriend to meet up with his ex?
Q. I went out with my boyfriend the other night for something to eat and a couple of drinks, we ended up having a heart to heart and he said to me 'If (his ex) ever asked me to hang out with her one day would you mind?', I was a bit tipsy at this ...
A. 20 January 2011: Are you being controlling? A little, but not in a bad or a way that's not understandable. The truth of the matter is, if they hang out, feelings he's repressed could come to the surface. If they had a history of being on and off, then it's not ... (read in full...)
I'm ashamed of what people would think if they knew I've never had a relationship. How can I interact more successfully with guys?
Q. I'm 17 years old, turning 18 and i never had a boyfriend. I never even went out on a date or kissed a guy. A lot of guys have asked me out especially these last few months, but i always said no beacause they're just not my type, apart from one guy. ...
A. 20 January 2011: Worrying what other people think is the surest way to stay lonely. I know that kids your age are vicious, but it would do you very well in life if you can get over that concern.
By the way, I'm not saying hook up with just anyone, but acceptin... (read in full...)
If he really loved me would a 20 minute drive matter?
Q. I'm 15 years old, and I like this guy who just turned 17. He lives in my moms town, 20 minutes away. We both liked each other for almost 3 years, and just recently he told me he loved me, which considering he didn't even tell me that when we dated ...
A. 20 January 2011: I'm going to have to agree that he's just not that into you. I drive 20 minutes each way to work every day. I wouldn't think twice about driving that to see a girl I really liked. Sorry OP.... (read in full...)
I'm ashamed of what people would think if they knew I've never had a relationship. How can I interact more successfully with guys?
Q. I'm 17 years old, turning 18 and i never had a boyfriend. I never even went out on a date or kissed a guy. A lot of guys have asked me out especially these last few months, but i always said no beacause they're just not my type, apart from one guy. ...
A. 19 January 2011: How do you know these guys aren't your type? You've never been on a date! I think you should start accepting some of these offers. Just because you go on a date with someone, you don't have to make out with them or have sex. You can just enjoy ... (read in full...)
If he really loved me would a 20 minute drive matter?
Q. I'm 15 years old, and I like this guy who just turned 17. He lives in my moms town, 20 minutes away. We both liked each other for almost 3 years, and just recently he told me he loved me, which considering he didn't even tell me that when we dated ...
A. 19 January 2011: Hmm, he wants a girlfriend without the work. Sounds like a great catch! Does he work? Gas is expensive, that could be an influencing factor.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend hides texts from her "friend"!
Q. I've been with my partner for a little over a year now and we live together. She is 7 years older than I am, but all in all I would say we have a great relationship; I really love her and she tells me that she loves me all the time. However recently ...
A. 19 January 2011: Suspicious behavior like that is hard to ignore. It's pretty obvious that something is up. If this really was just a friend there likely wouldn't be anything to hide.
Tell her you're feeling insecure because she is acting like she is hiding s... (read in full...)
Lying about porn?
Q. I recently found some hardcore porn on my boyfriends wireless device, which is attached to his computer via the TV. Now - can I just point out that I am no prude and I have no objection to porn, and myself and my boyfriend do not live together...
A. 19 January 2011: Why did he lie?
That's the million dollar question to most women on this subject. For many men it's because we've been hiding it our whole lives. We're told it's dirty and masturbation is wrong. No matter how much you tell us otherwis... (read in full...)
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