A
male
age
41-50,
*arry1985
writes:I'll probably get criticised for this...............I always had a thing about boob jobs on women n although my fiancee had nice size breasts and a fantastic figure i constantly went on to her about wanting her to have one. Stupid i know.She was against the idea but i suppose over the time i have been nagging her it worn her down, n finally she did the research n picked the surgeon n the size she wanted to go up to and she had the procedure done a few months ago.And i deeply regret it. The results are amazing but she has changed as a person n become far more outgoing n confident n the clothes she wears in my opinion are worn to get attention. She also goes out far more now without me at weekends and weeknights after work. I hardly ever see her anymore.I'm no doubt the architect of this, but i am really struggling with everything. What are your thoughts?
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female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (24 January 2011):
 hi
you are right, you are completely and utterly the architect of this. all you can do now is learn to trust this new person. if you end up splitting up and you both meet new partners; i am sure you have learned your lesson about not pushing a woman to have unnecessary operations
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): Your nagging not only wore down her resistance to the job, it wore down her self esteem.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): she desperately needs to repair the damage you've done to her self worth. And yet, you only seem to be bothered by your own jealousy here more than how she's been wounded.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): It's not self-confidence that she's gained, she's bought into the idea she needs to be false to impress or attract men. Before the little ' plastic bags of silicone were implanted into her body, when she was naturally beautiful, with a figure to die for; she was told, being brainwashed, that silicone was preferable over the 'REAL thing' Ahhhh..what next, as now she's feeling the result of such 'falseness' how it is seen in our society as acceptable, and worse still considered attractive by MEN.Who knows what this will lead her. She is quickly finding out how men like 'false' breasts, but these men are sadly no better than the one who has asked the question, but she won't see that, as her mind is now convinced to gain attention, Silicone is best!If only men who like silicone, had the 'intelligence' to understand and see beyond, what they're being turned on by simply, two moulded sacs of artificial filled gel, NOT breasts.I hope she finds out through this, how shallow such men are, and has them removed at some point.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): LMAO Dirtball.
OP, you know the saying: "be careful what you wish for"
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (21 January 2011):
 Unfortunately I'm unable to share my thoughts without first seeing some before and after pictures. They are definitely necessary to make any real judgement here.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (21 January 2011):
 Karma, she's a bitch isn't she?
Well, I won't be nasty and a lot has already been said. The thing is you should really be happy for her, because now she has all this self confidence that maybe she was lacking before. You got what you wanted, she has a great set of boobs, you should be more than pleased. Ah, but you didn't think of the consequences. That she would be going out with her newfound confidence and nice rack, that she would get all this attention that you don't like. But shouldn't you be happy and proud of what you have? In order to keep your sanity, perhaps you should start thinking in those terms.
Also, hope that she doesn't break off this engagement. You were lucky she didn't leave after you nagged her to get a boob job.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): I agree with Illithid...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): Ok so she's more confident. Good for her. I mean u should trust her and enjoy life as it is.
What exactly are you worried of ? That she's going to cheat on you or what?
Well if she is ,the boob job is not the reason. So just trust her and make her feel that you love her. And maybe talk to her how you feel and try to think of her a little bit more
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): I'm self concious of my chest size, if someone was like this with me I'm pretty sure that after a certain amount of time I would definately have left, it can be really awful and degrading and I'm really surprised she stayed.
As for what to do noww, like everyone says you got to deal with it. She deserves to feel good after all the comments from you, you need to think before you marry if you really have her wishes at heart. She may just get sick of all the nights out and be happy to spend her time at home with you, she may find someone who doesnt care about boob size, u should have been more careful before you said anything. Leave her be, let her bask in the compliments and learn to keep your mouth closed.
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A
female
reader, AnnaW219 +, writes (21 January 2011):
 men what is up with you people we do what you want and you still don't like it get over yourself you think that know she has this confidence she will find someone better well let me tell you this she obviously loves you enough to get that done the thing she was against then she will love you enough to not leave you so let her go out and have fun and give her the confidence she should be given
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): Thats what you Get. instead of being content with the woman that you were with you made her feel insecure in herself and doubtful about your love and devotion to her if she didn't have the procedure done. Now she has a renewed self confidence in herself she sees a renewed attractiveness and all the other men see it too... i hate to tell you bru but you set yourself up to loose your fiance and the process of your elimination from her life has already started.
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A
male
reader, mr toyboy  +, writes (21 January 2011):
Am sorry guy, but shes on her way to meeting new guys and before you know it, shes off with someone new.Its just a matter of time.
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A
male
reader, Kilcardy +, writes (21 January 2011):
What's that old saying, "watch what you wish for, because you just might get it." Well, you got what you asked for. It wasn't broke, but you had to go ahead and break it. I don't know that there is really much that you can do except go with the flow. Sorry, but that's the reality of your situation.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 January 2011):
 I think you need to let her go out and have her fun. Remember she is your fiancee, and you have already promised to stay with her for life. That was a decision you made when you proposed. And in the long term perspective, she will not always be like this. I think it's a phase she goes through, she got new boobs and wants to go out and show them to the world. Let her. You were the one who wanted her to get them, she did, and now SHE gets to do what she wants with them. However, I think it will calm down once she gets more used to it and they will become a natural part of her more than some flashy new accessory.
Just be patient and think of the long term picture here. She's your fiancé, and she's still just her. In life and through the years things will change that you need to live with, and you will probably experience changes withing yourself as well. The clue is to know how to deal with them and not give up or think it's the end because something has changed. You need to just adapt, and she will adapt as well.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): Remember that relationships only work when each partner puts the other's needs first.
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A
female
reader, sammi star +, writes (21 January 2011):
 I agree with the others. You wore her confidence down and now she's finding a way of getting it back...and good for her! First you weren't happy with her appearance, now you're not happy with her new found confidence. This woman has resorted to surgery for you, now you want her to stop going out so much and go back to being the unconfident person you made her to be before?
I think this is a case of what goes around comes around.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (21 January 2011):
 The thing is, your nagging not only wore down her resistance to the job, it wore down her self esteem. You were essentially telling her that she was so ugly it would take surgery to fix her! Now she's got bigger assets and is getting compliments on her appearance, which she desperately needs to repair the damage you've done to her self worth. And yet, you only seem to be bothered by your own jealousy here more than how she's been wounded.
Please remember that relationships only work when each partner puts the other's needs first.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): You know she will properly thank you for pressuring her into getting a boob job as she now feels more attractive to men BUT I bet you she also resents you for not accepting her the way she was. I wouldn't be surprised if she found someone else and dumped you being so shallow.
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A
female
reader, lacrymosa_652 +, writes (21 January 2011):
 You're just going to have to accept it. Really, ask yourself why you were so hell-bent on her having a boob-job, especially when you admit she had "nice size breasts". I really don't understand how you can "have a thing about boob jobs", is it the fact that they're fake that you like them? Because if it's just about size then there's no reason for you to like boob jobs in particular, you would just have a thing for larger breasts.
What gets me is that you regret it, not because you preferred her previous size and shape, but because she has had what appears to be a confidence boost. It seems like now you're insecure in case she gets attention from other men and will stray. If you trust her, you can trust that she loves you and won't cheat or leave you just because she goes out more without you. If you continue to feel insecure, you're just going to have accept that these turn of events are probably a result of you pressuring her to have a boob job, and hopefully you won't do something like that again.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (21 January 2011):
 You made your bed... time to lie in it.
Not a lot else you can do to be honest mate.
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