A
female
age
41-50,
*ConfusedGal
writes:I want to know if I should be worried that my BF of 1.5yrs is on an online sex dating site? He has a "standard" account so he can't send emails to women, only send "winks" or add them to his "hotlist". Why do guys feel it necessary to be on online dating sites if they are in a relationship? I know he looks at porn a lot (this sounds pretty normal for some type of guys according to a lot of websites) and I've told him I have no problem with it as long as its not interactive porn. (i.e. chat rooms, etc.) He says he loves me pretty much everyday and does show affection (sexually and cuddly) so I feel he is still interested in me as well as we have a mutual agreement that if either of us is unhappy or wants to explore other "options" that we'd break up with the other person since we're both against cheating. So although I have no proof of him actually talking to other women, at least as of right now until he upgrades his account by paying, should I be worried that he may cheat? I'm insecure from a previous situation we went through a few months back when I had a gut feeling to look thru his phone (first time I've done this ever and felt horrible) and saw that he had texted a girl his number and had flirty conversation with her and yet lied about it to me when I asked him if he ever gave his number to that bartendar. When I broke up with him, he finally came clean about a month later. He apologized and said that even though he didn't physically cheat on me, he understood why I was upset and agreed he'd feel the same so he swore he wouldn't do that again. So now that I see him on this hornymatches.com, with a profile (no picture) stating looking for a good time and one-on-one sex I'm feeling like this relationship may be doomed for me and best to get out now. But what if he just gets bored a lot and just to look up what he thinks is entertaining to pass the time away? It's not like he's staying up late and on the computer so it looks like he only has time while at work or the short amount of time after work before I'm with him. Any advice is much appreciated and I'm hoping for mostly guy responses since I'm sure all the ladies will just tell me to just break up with him... of course I'd still like to know your thoughts or experiences too ladies.
View related questions:
at work, broke up, chat room, flirt, horny, insecure, porn, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): i had a bf...ex i might add...who was on that same site! Winks winks winks! I found out...and confronted him and he said he would delete it and he never did meanwhile he kept getting winks winks from women. So i moved out when he was at work. If he couldnt have the decency to delete the account while we were living together but i couldnt handle it. Other then that we woulda been great. My life wood have been made! But why do guys need a dating account if theyre already with someone.? Looking for options or not. Its not acceptable.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): There is no reason for him to be on dating sites of any kind if he is in a committed relationship with you....there is no excuse for this sort of behavior. Hey...monkey see, monkey do.
...............................
A
female
reader, lynxy +, writes (20 January 2011):
 well it is all up to you if you accept your boyfriend is on sex chats with other women. personally I don't think it's right because if he likes to do that there is also a high risk he is gonna cheat on you physically. if a guy is really in love with youo he wouldn't need to make interactive sex chats. I think it's a lack of respect towards your relationship. before I had a boyfriend I also was in those online sex sites I think it's cool but when you want a relationship and love the other person the best thing to is to stop it because it always ends up hurting that one you love.
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (20 January 2011):
 I'd say he's checking options, or surfing the pictures. You've got to be a member to see profiles on most of those sites, so that could be a reason. If he watches a lot of porn, that can get boring, so seeing whats available for real in your area can add a new twist to the fantasy when tugging one out.
Personally, I'd be pretty cautious of this one. It may be nothing, but I'd put more odds on him being up to something shady. Still, as long as he doesn't subscribe, he can't really do anything on there either, so it's up to you. I'd be nervous though.
...............................
A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 In the age of technology and the internet, there's lots of temptations out there. I think you hit the nail on the head by him saying he wouldnt like you to do what he's doing. He is obviously missing something in his life, and i don't mean that there's anything wrong with you, but he is filling a niche' It seems like a habit that he needs to break out of, his job is obviously mundane and he probably can't see a future for him or you. If you ever get married, have kids, a bit further along the line, would you still be putting up with it all with the possibility of divorce because he can't sort himself out? You need to tackle it once again and get it sorted because if not it will get worse, and in the worst case scenario he will eventually go with some one else.
...............................
|
