A
female
age
41-50,
*hedivette
writes:My husband's libido is not as high as mine and we have had many arguments about it. He has told me several times during the arguments to just go have sex with other people and leave him alone. Should I do this? Does the fact that he only says it during an argument mean that he doesn't mean it? Would it make our relationship better or worse?
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male
reader, he4she +, writes (22 January 2011):
Find out if he is serious.When he says have sex with someone else. Then you say, oh you don't mean that, and see what his reaction is.It sounds like better communication is in order here.Talk with an open mind with each other, a yelling match solves nothing.
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (22 January 2011):
 I don't think it would help your relationship to have sex with someone else. Let's face it, if you did that, you'd likely grow emotional attachments for the other person and then you'd be torn between your husband and your lover.I know the hurt you are going through. It is like being personally rejected when your spouse tells you to go have sex with someone else.Perhaps he was being flip.Either way, I would think you do have some options here. You could talk to him about it while you aren't in an argument. Ask him if there's something you are doing or that you could do to make sex more interesting. You may also have him go to a doctors to make sure his testosterone is normal. Often times low libido can be associated with low levels. Exercise can also naturally raise one's libido. So if he's a couch potato, he may be not be helping the situation.I believe that sex is an important part of a relationship and a lack of it could be a driving force in why couples don't get along. He needs to understand that and be sure that he knows that's part of his job in making sure his wife is sexually happy.Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): It will not help any bit infact you are going to destroy his self esteem.All l can advise it seek help from qualified doctors and that will help improve yous husband's situation remember you are his companion.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (21 January 2011):
 Have you tried talking to him about it when you're not having an argument?
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (21 January 2011):
 Worse. I would suggest looking for a constructive way to increase his libido. You may find that if you talk with the attitude of trying to solve a problem, he may not feel as attacked. Some therapy may also help.
Unless he likes being cheated on, which I doubt, I think you'd be better off searching for ways to fix your marriage before finding a booty call outside of it. If you think things are not fixable, it may be time for the relationship to be over.
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