A
female
age
30-35,
*ess1478
writes:Okay so since we slept together last friday i hadn't heard anything from him. Saw him out last night and we spoke for a little bit/texted..with his housemates making obvious digs at me for doing 'wrong'.I contacted him today asking if we should meet up to talk and he said his going to London tonight, working back home all weekend and won't be free till tuesday. He seems quite reluctant to meet up on tuesday saying he doesn't see the point and seeing me would just make it worse (things might happen) but honestly i just want to talk to him. He says he wants to move forward and not backwards. But what is saying that i'm a backwards step? Since our relationship ended we have both grown up a lot and experienced new things and i generally believe this could work. I want to tell him all this in person but he seems very cautious of meeting which is understandable but he needs to take a chance. I'm willing to give 110% to this relationship if he is. I don't want to figure out what to do/say on tuesday and get my hopes up if come tuesday his just going to cancel because he thinks its a bad idea. I know deep down he does want to be back together and does want to meet up but his trying to do what he, and possibly his friends think is 'right' but they think meeting up is wrong. None of them have the right to tell him what to do as half of them have done far worse in relationships and shouldn't be advising others on what to do. I mean i've put tuesday out there now so hopefully over the weekend he will think about it and want to meet up. I just don't want him to cancel when i've got my hopes up. I know meeting and talking might help work things out..i just need him to see this. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Jess1478 +, writes (21 January 2011):
Jess1478 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe text me last night and we had a general conversation and what we're both doing this weekend, uni etc.
I generally believe that he does want to be with me his just being cautious. I'm hoping we can meet up and talk on tuesday so we can get all our feelings out in the open.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 January 2011):
I agree with the others. He either regrets it, or has had what he was looking for.
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Odds and the walkin dude have this nailed down! He definitely regrets it. If he didn't, he'd be trying to set something up to meet.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Without knowing your history together, particularly why you're not together, it'd be hard to say what he wants or whether he'll show up. All I can gather from the above is that you used to date, and now you don't but you hooked up anyway.
Want to point out one thing, though -
"I know deep down he does want to be back together and does want to meet up but his trying to do what he, and possibly his friends think is 'right' but they think meeting up is wrong."
Are you certain that is what he thinks, or is that what you *want* him to think? A man's friend's can influence his romantic choices, but usually not to the degree that a woman's friends do. You may be right, or you may just be projecting.
Whether or not you're correct, this attitude is what is going to sabotage your feelings during the meet-up later. You need to go into it without preconceptions, so you can honestly evaluate the situation at the time - or, if he cancels, not be too hurt by it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): Ok, so this guy you slept with is an ex boyfriend and that's why it was a "mistake?".
If i'm honest, it sounds like he regrets it and is making excuses not to see you. I don't think he wants to get back together.
You sound far more keen to give it another go then he does. He doesn't sound like he wants to at all actually, and if you both don't want the same things it isn't going to work.
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