A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 17 years old, turning 18 and i never had a boyfriend. I never even went out on a date or kissed a guy. A lot of guys have asked me out especially these last few months, but i always said no beacause they're just not my type, apart from one guy. I only liked this guy and when he asked me out i thought he was fooling ariund, that's why i said no. And now after almost 7 months im regretting my decision beacuase i think im starting to like him again. Now there's this other guy that i have fallen for. He's so cute!! when he sees me he just smiles and nods, and this is what makes my heart skip a beat. Ive been trying just to say hi and good morning at least, to try and strike a conversation, but im too shy to go along. How can i find out if he likes me? i dont want to aske personally as im really shy :/And what about the first guy? what should i do? move on or keep on hoping for a change?i feel deperate and a fool for falling for guys!!! sometimes i just wish for love to dissappear so that i dont cause my heart hurt anymore!!!i feel hopless next to my friends and keep the fact that i never had a relationship a secret with them as i feel as if its something to be ashamed of!!v
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female
reader, Abella  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 if you relaxed a little and stopped pre-judging and pre-evaluating these guys you might well find that (some of them) they are much nicer than you realise.
When people sense someone is judgemental then you never see the full multi-faceted good points of a person. As soon as someone senses another is being judgmental then they close up to you and become more defensive.
And going on a few dates with a few guys will lift your 'dealing with guys' skills to new heights.
There is nothing wrong with being discerning about guys. But you also don't have to cut yourself out of all the fun either.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeah i guess ur right cause not all that glitters is gold :) i''try hard next time someone asks me out...i'll think twice before i answer
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Just keep in mind, guys talk. If you turn everyone down, they are going to suspect you're either too stuck up or a lesbian. Then they'll stop asking.
Don't be so hard on yourself. That's also one of the things that is causing this situation.
I'm willing to bet that you might be surprised if you give one of these guys a chance. People aren't always what they seem. Sometimes they can give you a very pleasant surprise!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi dirtball! i think you're right. i do feel that i don't have control. Cause the 'trend' is that if you go on a date with someone it meens that you do have feelings for him. I just want to go on a date with someone who i can picture myself with and that i can see a future( im not saying marriage) with. I never really regret saying no to anyone of those guys, but when i start to think i say that since these guys are 'ugly' than thats what i am too!!! I always end up judging myself and feeling that im not worth anything! Sometimes i just feel i want to rip my heart out because of all the pain im hurt. Yes i do feel very lonely and sometimes depressed too. To ease my pain I sometimes imagine i do have a boyfriend and that im talking to him and expressing my feelings to him.
Im just so weird! Maybe this is the reason why i attract people i don't like ''/
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (20 January 2011):
Worrying what other people think is the surest way to stay lonely. I know that kids your age are vicious, but it would do you very well in life if you can get over that concern.
By the way, I'm not saying hook up with just anyone, but accepting a date from a candidate who isn't perfect won't hurt. It's just a date. It's how you learn if you like someone. It never has to go further if you don't want it to. I get the feeling that you think you have less control in this situation than you actually do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell blonde68 and dirtball...its not that i don't rely on looks, beacause one way or another they do count, but i do look at character too. The guys who asked me out either act like their tough to impress or just to compete with their friends.
Now about going out on a date, i don't want to go out with someone i don't like. I am very self concious about what others say, and people talk and the word spreads around fast, so going out with someone who's 'ugly' (im not attracted to him) from looks and personality will not make me comfortable. I just wish to find a guy which i like from both looks and personality, but i can't seem to attract these kind of guys. They always go to good looking girls!!!
Anyways 10x all for the advise :)
P.S LizBeth: im trying hard to clear that guy from my head, but its difficult....my problem is that i fall for guys which i like very fast and certian things and actions that happen to me (for example opening the school fridge the same time he's about to open it or going to the stores and finding him their)i don't know if they're just coincidence or destiny !!??? Anyways 10x very much :)
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A
female
reader, LizBeth +, writes (19 January 2011):
Go on a date with the next guy who asks you! (Unless you know he's a COMPLETE jerk. Abusing drugs & alcohol, drunk driver, hits women, anything like that.) It seems like you're pre-judging these guys without getting to know them. Be open to the dating experience just to get used to the socialization part of things.
As for the cute guy that you have "fallen for," don't pin any hopes on him. A smile and a nod is simply a friendly return of your greeting. If he wants to ask you out, he will. Don't concentrate on him - just go out and try to have fun.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011): Hey, I am exactly like You. I have social disorders and I was in the same predicament that You are right now but I am a shamed to say at a significantly older age. As an older guy, I can honestly say that there is nothing wrong with your position when you are just getting out of high school and starting college. Many of my buddies just started dating girls in college, and trust me there are plenty of opportunities to meet someone of the opposite sex in college. If the guys you are referring to are not your type then just waite until college and don't worry about it. However, I will tell you that I think it would be healthy to start accepting dates in college. My best advice on how to get dates latter on is just to practice interacting with people that You
Are not sexually attracted to. This is what finally help me gain confidence with the opposite gender. I just wish that I had done this as a Freshman or Sophomore instead of my final semester of my Junior year. So go ahead and talk to non-sexual interest now and then You will be ready for guys in college.
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A
female
reader, Blonde68 +, writes (19 January 2011):
I agree with dirtball... how do you know these guys aren't your type if you have never had a date? Or are you just going purely on looks. If the latter is the reason, then you have a big shock coming, because beauty fades very quickly!
Next time you are asked out, accept... it will do your confidence the world of good, and if it helps, don't class it as a date, you haven't got to get your tongue down their throat haha... just class it as a social event!
And as for feeling ashamed because you have never had a relationship... be proud, stand tall and be thankful that you haven't allowed yourself to be taken in by every guy at a drop of a hat.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (19 January 2011):
How do you know these guys aren't your type? You've never been on a date! I think you should start accepting some of these offers. Just because you go on a date with someone, you don't have to make out with them or have sex. You can just enjoy an activity together. That way you'll get to know someone.
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