A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I know my husband bought lingerie for women before voluntarily and did kinky stuff like videotaping having sex with them and bubble baths together. I've been with him for almost two years now and we have not done anything like that. The other day, he was inspired and bought me pajamas from Victoria's Secret. They are practical and warm, just not much of a show.Is it a sign that he does not think of me THAT way and only as a friend? I tried to invite him to have a bubble bath with me, he did join me and just sat there (It was disappointing for me). Also, I suggested to watch a porn DVD together, we never did BUT he watched them alone when I was asleep.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007): My wife and I both thought the same thing, even before we read any of the answers. He thought of the other woman as an exciting "slut" and you as a sweet, innocent wife. My wife thinks that you should have a discussion with him to tell him that you would like to be treated as a "pretend bad girl" occasionally. If he is concerned about thinking of you as a slut, maybe he can accept pretending you are a bad girl.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007): Hi Hunny,
If you dress up one night as a suprise how do you think he would react? Seeing you looking very sexy may put a whole different veiw in his head love, Id be like you I would want the kinky underwear and sexy baths lots of candles and hot nights are important hunny. It makes you feel very desirable, Id give him a huge suprise love, Good luck TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (19 October 2007):
He thinks of her as a whore and you as a wife.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (19 October 2007):
 I'm with anonymous.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007): Maybe he sees you as too much of the "good girl" to put up on a pedestal and admire, and he's uncomfortable doing those "dirty" things with a woman he thinks so highly of. If that's the case, then I guess you should look at it as a compliment that he's squeamish about doing those things with you.
How to fix it? I dunno. You've given him hints and it sounds like he hasn't taken them. Maybe he's embarrassed about revealing his sexual kinks to you. It doesn't sound like a HUGE deal right now, but it might be a sign of trouble if he never gets any more open about these things in the future.
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