A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I asked my boyfriend if I am what he wants. He never answered me. Is it because I'm not and I just happen to be the woman that wants him right know? I love him and I am torn and I dont know how to handle this. He is a complicated man. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007): Ms 18-21, as with Danielpew, this is a complicated question with a massive complicated twist of answers.
To give perspective, for myself, I have become quite complicated in terms of what I truly desire versus what I like and can adore. I can fall in love with either or, but to be completely and utterly satisfied (perfection with imperfection), I would like my true desires to be fulfilled. However, that's not to say that I won't be satisfied with my partner, if she doesn't meet all or most of my true desires. It just means exactly what our relationship means.
It's possible to be with someone or married to someone whom you adore, and love deeply, even if s/he does not meet all or a lot of your desires. It's just that there are a lot of a factors in the degree of extended love beyond the physical, mental, and emotional. It's like a very structured system with chaotic objects swirling around. It makes sense to us, but to explain it to others, may not actually be a good thing, because it's hard to describe it.
You also have to put into perspective on what he thinks about love as a whole, and what love means to him on an intricate level. Also, you have to keep in mind that just because two people come together to form an intimate partnership, that does not automatically translate to love. Love takes time and effort, and in this case, understanding.
A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (17 October 2007):
If he's been your bf for less than 2 months, try again later. If he's been you bf for 6 months, dump him and move on.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (17 October 2007):
 Dear, this is a complicated question, too, and one that he might not be able to answer, or might have chosen not to answer to avoid getting into a maze. In theory, it should be easy to answer: "yes, you are" or "no, you aren't". I wonder what the situation behind this question is. This is the real heart of the matter. Why did you feel you needed to ask this question?
If you elaborate, I might help you more.
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