A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A month ago i broke up with my long term boyfriend. There wasn't a real reason but i believe it was down to his jealously, as i had just started a job where all the people i work with except 1, are male. The break up wasn't ugly, even though i didn't agree with his reasons, i was not going to force him to stay with me when clearly i was not one of his priorities. But over the last week we have recently started talking again and he has been telling me tht he still really likes me but doesn't want a girlfriend. So yesterday i went round to his house. And one thing led to another and we had sex. I don't regret it as it was always the one part of our relationship i could not fault. But i'm confused, firstly as i'm not sure whether this is a cheap way to get me to sleep with him until he finds someone better, or if he actually likes me? Secondly because if i carry this on i may start having feelings for him again and live on the false hope we may get back together, which we might but, do i wait around that long to find out? Or do i just move on and say you had your chance?The thing is i do still like him, we have a past together and had so much planned for the future. But i don't just want to be his doormatt, as i feel i deserve better. But i do no there are people out there that don't want relationships, maybe because they feel they don't have time. So i'm very confused has anyone got any advice?
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (17 October 2007):
 It all depends whether you enjoy the sex for sex's sake I guess.
In other words, does it make you feel bad about yourself?
After couples split up ( amicably) I think quite often they use each other as f*$k buddies until something else comes along. I think its a lot more common than people admit, however like anything both parties have to see the emotional disconnect here.
I dont think you do , you are already questioning whether he "still likes me" . So for you it just isnt sex, in this case I would cease his visits.
You two may have the sexual chemistry still sparking but I'm afraid he has made it clear it's sex only .
Find someone else who can provide satisfaction in the bedroom and outside as well. Good luck!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (17 October 2007):
 You should be very careful. He broke up with you, for bad reasons, and now he is saying he won't have a relationship. It may well be that he just wants the sex.
I think you should not consent to any more sex before he tells you, in a very clear manner, where you stand with him. If he keeps saying he doesn't want a relationship, move on. He will be no good.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (17 October 2007):
Love always involves risks. Take a chance and see how it developes. You can always leave later. Maybe he just realized his mistake.
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