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... Send *untyEm a private message | | | *untyEm's profile:Hello, there. I am a 49 year old mother of two girls.
What qualifies me to give advice?...well I guess because I have had a pretty hard time and have learned a lot in my lifetime.
Divorce, teenage kids, money worries, relationship worries...all manner of things I have coped with and I am still here to tell the tale.
My answers will be pretty hard hitting. This is because I will tell you what you NEED to hear and not what you WANT to hear. This isn't always popular but I would rather get to the heart of the matter and tell it like I see it rather than give someone false hope or a misleading answer that could make them even more confused.
God Bless all who take time to give precious advice here, it has restored my faith in human kindness :-) xxxxx |
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This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 December 2009: To everyone on DEAR CUPID, Having been an 'Aunt' on DC for a couple of years I have to say that I absolutely love and adore this site. It confirms to me that in a jaded cynical and unscrupulous world there are still people who care enough abou...
A Survival Guide for the serial Dumpee!!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2007: Are you continually getting dumped?, Do you never get passed the first date? 1) Never assume love. The more you think you like a guy, the more you must let him chase you.Don't lose your head and think you love him, before things have evn gott...
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Does his attentiveness and effort mean anything in terms of his interest in me?
Q. I met a guy online and he just asked me out. We went to the same college years ago so I know he’s not some strange old man :) We’ve been emailing for just over 2 weeks and I've seen load of pictures of him. He’s very attentive to what I say and r...
A. 2 March 2009: It sounds like he is making a special effort to make a nice date for you both. If you know him from before, then meet him for the date. Be open and friendly and just have fun. Its hard to say what his future intentions are as probably neither of you ... (read in full...)
I think he's cheating and seeing other women
Q. Hi, I am a 33 year old woman who is in a relationship with a married man that has been going on for a while, him and his wife are separated, and we live together, i feel that he is cheating on me because when we are home together he turns his phon...
A. 2 March 2009: I agree. Married men who are cheating with you are just that...cheats and they will continue to do it for as long as women let them get away with it.
What goes around comes around and eventually you will reap it.
Get away from him now and find... (read in full...)
Crying during anal sex normal?
Q. is crying doing anal sex normal it was so painful my boyfriend said if i don't get things straight he will brake up with me what should do...
A. 2 March 2009: Hunny you need to get rid of that boy from your life. Anal sex is something most normal adults wouldnt attempt let alone a young girl of your age. Its invasive and painful and can cause injury to the rectal wall if its forced.
If he is insistin... (read in full...)
How do I get my cold sex buddy to open up?
Q. Hey , so iv been seeing this guy. He's been my friend since 4 years but we started makingout a year back. The problem is that hes just so cold all the time. I dont want him to commit or be my bf , but at least a real friend.. He never tells me ...
A. 5 February 2009: Listen up hunny and let me tell you something. Women cannot have sex without risking some emotion and men can have sex without emotion. You call him a sex buddy and he obviously gives you a sex life but now your asking for more and I can tell you ... (read in full...)
Do you think he is about to start up the relationship with her again and was sending a message to her?
Q. I have been married to my husband for 7 years although we have lived together 15 years now. Over the past few years he has been having an affair and has been back and forward to this woman several times. At the moment he is back with me he was ...
A. 17 January 2009: It's possible that he may be trying to rekindle things with her and he probably feels he can because he's done it before and you have tolerated it. I guess the only way your going to know is to ask him outright.
The way I see it you have two choi... (read in full...)
Post period break outs
Q. I always seem to break out after my period is finished. Why? Any tips on how to clear it faster, and prevent it in the future? ...
A. 17 January 2009: Its probably a hormonal thing. You could try eating more healthily around the time of your period, drink more water, get some early nights and practice good skin care. If you really have a breakout you could get some anti biotics from your doctor.... (read in full...)
He says he loves me but does he just want into my pants?
Q. I have a friend from Spain who I have known for 5 years and he recently told me he loves me... and I think I've started to love him too... but I'm not sure if I believe him because we've been thinking of taking things further sexually and I would ...
A. 14 August 2007: Yep, ceratainly not too young to have sex...just not legally. I think you should wait until your older.
Aunty Em x... (read in full...)
5 Minutes after I'd kissed him, his ex and him went to spend the night together!
Q. every week i go to the pub with friends from work at my new job. i've started to get on really well with one of their flatmates and i really like him (im 20, hes 26). After the pub we always go back to someones house and this guy i like cuddles me ...
A. 13 August 2007: Blah don't feel guilty...what happened...happened and you can't change it, but you can LEARN from it.
Forget the guy, if he wanted to be with you, he'd be with you and make you know that he wants you. By spending the night with his ex after ki... (read in full...)
When I mentioned hanging out with my mates, she said I don't love her anymore!
Q. i am 23, me and my girlfriend who is 20 have been spending the last week together, we dont live together at all yet anyway. but we have been together 24/7 for the last week and today i wanted to go see some friends, she flipped and claimed i dont ...
A. 13 August 2007: Its not unreasonable for you to want to spend time with your mates, especially after spending a whole week with your girlfriend. She sounds as if she is sulking a little. be calm with her, but tell her that you want and need time on your own ... (read in full...)
Is being unemployed the reason behind my fiancee's behaviour?
Q. My ex-fiancé has a lousy sales job and he's very proud of it because he is self employed and doesn't have to wake up early to respond to a stupid boss. He has always been very involved in my professional life because I've been unemployed for a while ...
A. 13 August 2007: I think the reason behind your boyfriends moods is for a couple of reasons. Men like to problems solve, but they can only problems solve when there is something PHYSICAL that can contribute. Your boyfriends problem with you is that YOU DONT HAVE A ... (read in full...)
I've been married to my husband for 30 years and I want out so bad that it makes me sick...
Q. i have been married to my husband for 30 years and i want out so bad that it makes me sick. i tell him and it is as if he doesn't hear me. he just keeps tellig me what all he has done for me and how hard he has worked. forgettong that i have work ...
A. 13 August 2007: I have been through this myself and totally understand what you are going through. When your in a loveless marriage the misery can be enourmous and you do get to a stage in your life (for me it was in my late 30's) when you do yearn for something ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me but does he just want into my pants?
Q. I have a friend from Spain who I have known for 5 years and he recently told me he loves me... and I think I've started to love him too... but I'm not sure if I believe him because we've been thinking of taking things further sexually and I would ...
A. 13 August 2007: Your too young to embark on a sexual affair, it is also illegal in england until you are 16. If you want to save yourself for someone who loves you, then you may as well wait until you are a little older and with someone you are dating seriously. ... (read in full...)
How to make a married women Divorce?
Q. How to make a married women Divorce? I know that what I do is not practical but it is my fate that I met my dream girl who is married. I do not want to miss her but she is friendly and she wants to maintain our friendship but she doesn't want to ...
A. 13 August 2007: Despite how you feel about this woman, she is married and unless she leaves her husband and secures a divorce, you can never be truly happy with her.Don't allow her to string you along, find someone else who can devote themself to you entirely. ... (read in full...)
Does it hurt alot?
Q. hey i was just wondering for those of you females out there...if you could tell me how bad a bakini wax hurts??? my mom offered to pay for my first one and im thinking about getting it down in the next day or two....any comments, ...
A. 9 August 2007: Well I ain't going to lie to you, it's not that pleasant and the first time can be quite 'intense'. You might also notice a little redness or a mild rash afterwards but this will settle down. Subsequent waxings are less painful but can still make ... (read in full...)
I don't want to get back with her, but i tried to kiss her.
Q. Hi my girlfriend and i broke up a few months ago but were still friends. Now neither of us want to get back together but lately i've been flirting with her a bit and today i tried to kiss her on the cheek but she stopped me. What do i do if I still ...
A. 9 August 2007: Just be friendly and honest and open with her. Explain that kissing her was a mitake but wasn't her fault and that she shouldn't feel bad about it. Tell her your a little confused right now and just want to be friends. Most girls can handle these ... (read in full...)
His best friend is female.
Q. MY BOYFRIEND HAVE A FEMALE BESTFRIEND, WHAT ADVICE CAN YOU GIVE ME?...
A. 9 August 2007: Hmmm well it's not that unusual for people to have platonic friendships. Most people are able to distinguish the lines between friends and lovers so it shouldn't be a problem. If you have been dating this guy a short time, maybe you just haven't ... (read in full...)
She has got looser, is she cheating?
Q. i suspect that my wife is cheating on me.her vagina has become looser suddenly.it was tighter for more than one year after the birth of our one and only child.is my suspicion right?...
A. 9 August 2007: I don't really think its fair to accuse your wife of cheating just because she feels 'looser' Womens bodies change a lot after they have children. Could the problem maybe lie with you? Men can suffer from impotence quite suddenly. Maybe it's not ... (read in full...)
It's been seven years, and I can't get over him
Q. hi, 7 years ago, i met this guy online and he said some pretty sweet things to me, like he loved me and stuff. we went on a date, and i used him, i asked him for money, i thought it was a one night stand. he stood me up for our second date. a...
A. 8 August 2007: Excellent answer Dusky!!! I agree. You have more or less stalked this guy and now he has moved on. You don't need closure. he has moved away and gotten married to someone else, so that IS your closure right there. As much as you sit around thinking ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend constantly gives me a hard time for my past, and it makes me miserable!
Q. Dear Cupid, I am writing with tears on my eyes 'cause devastated. I will try to make my story short. I met my bf while in college and while in college I acted a little crazy and mess around with a couple of guys. My bf and I were not together...
A. 8 August 2007: Ok you love him deeply? but he is mean to you and constantly reminds you of what a terrible person you are because you made a few mistakes along the way. Do you really think he is ever going to change his opinion? or are you just going to put up ... (read in full...)
I thought he wanted to get back together, then I find out-he has a pregnant gf!
Q. Sorry this my be a bit long but i really need peoples opinions. I went out with a guy a year and a bit ago,and was completly in love...i lost my virginity to him, anyway a week after he dumped me and went back to his ex girlfriend..i never spoke or...
A. 8 August 2007: Do yourself a massive favour... save yourself and get away from this boy. He is using you. He has gotten another girl pregnant and now he wants to bring you back in on the situation?...is this really the kind of guy you want in your life??? Whats he ... (read in full...)
This question goes out to anyone out there who has taken care of aging parents.
Q. Hi Readers, This question goes out to anyone out there who has taken care of aging parents. I have taken care of my husbands parents in the past and now, mine are in a downward spiral. My Dad went into a nursing home because he is not able to ...
A. 8 August 2007: I would tell your siblings that you have asked to be excluded from your parents will. This will give them a more balanced view of your decision about not paying 50% of the care home costs out of your own pocket. It is right that your parents estate ... (read in full...)
I have put an end to contacting her. Was that the right decision?
Q. Hello everyone. I'm afraid I did something very stupid yet again, and this time I think it has really blown things apart. *Check my column to hear about my situation* Last night I dreamt about her. It was us getting back together. First thing I di...
A. 8 August 2007: Don't send her a birthday card, don't do anything, just back away with grace and accept you lost.Let her go, as painful as that is, your just going to keep torturing yourself with it until it drives you crazy. She obviously dosn't want to be in the ... (read in full...)
I am at my wits end with him... why is money more important to him than our relationship and my feelings?
Q. Hey... I've been in a relationship for almost 4 years now...my BF and I live together, and I am on disability. He struggled with abusive parents and has walked out on me in the past, refusing to talk to me, and trashing me to his friends and fami...
A. 8 August 2007: After reading what you wrote, the way I see it is that your boyfriend is feeling the full weight of the financial responsibility. Men , in general, like to be the providers, they take great pride in it and work hard at it and like to be apreciated ... (read in full...)
Help, I think I might be pregnant!
Q. I need your help whether i might be pregnant. Well i thought i might be so i took two pregnacy test and they both came up negative.Then i waited till 5 days after my missed period and that one also came up saying not pregnant. Now im not sure when ...
A. 8 August 2007: If you have done several pregnancy tests and they have come up negative, then you are most likely not pregnant. Those tests are very sensitive to pick up tiny amounts of HCG, the hormone produced by the placenta, which indicates pregnancy, even ... (read in full...)
I'm too young to have sex, but my boyfriend wants to
Q. Hello I'm 15 Years Old 16 Soon And Am Scared Too Have Sex I Really Like This Boy But We Are Not Goiny Out We Have Done Everything Apart From Sex But I Think He Is Using Me Is There Any Advice You Could Give Me x...
A. 8 August 2007: Just say no to him, say your not ready and then stay away from him. You shouldn't ever feel pressured into having sex, it leads to all kinds of complications if your not ready for it. Save yourself for when you are older and more mature and happy to ... (read in full...)
I'm married but I believe I have fallen in love with a workmate!
Q. I'm married but I believe I have fallen in love with a workmate. I am 57 and have been married for 34 years, she is 37 happily married with 2 children. I have used some of this to answer someone else's problem but I need some advice myself on how I...
A. 8 August 2007: I think we all, at some point in our life, get smitten with someone. A look, a friendly conversation or a warm smile can turn our head and propels us off into all kinds of fantasies. It makes us feel good, boosts our self esteem and brightens our ... (read in full...)
We're having second thoughts about the abortion...
Q. Me and my boyfriend agreed that we didnt want an abortion but we also dont want either one of us to drop out just to take care of a baby. I'm having second thoughts about it all and im sure he is too. any advice?...
A. 8 August 2007: You could consider adotion for the baby, but you may feel differently when you see the baby after it is born. It is very difficult to know how you would feel until the actual birth has taken place. You don't mention if you have a supportive family, ... (read in full...)
I've been dating him a year but where's all his respect gone?
Q. I have been dating this guy for the last past year and at first it was going well until he started treating me like his ex was treating him which was very disreapectful he stopped spending time with me and started being very judgemental, so now he ...
A. 6 August 2007: You have been seeing eachother for a year but you have dated other people within that year? It seems that neither one of you are really commited to this relationship and neither of you appears to have respect for the other, so why waste time ... (read in full...)
The love of my life broke up with me and wants to be friends!
Q. my boyfriend broke up with me after neary 2 years and he wants to be friends but im really in love with him and dont think i can stay sane and be friends with him, am i being immature? he is the love of my life and i havent even begun to cope wit...
A. 6 August 2007: I don't think your too mean to refuse friendship at all. You are feeling hurt and rejected and to have to forcibly stand down on all the feelings you have built up for this guy, really will make you feel very down indeed.
I have my own thoughts... (read in full...)
Am I paying too much for these hair extensions?
Q. Hey this might seem like a really weird question to ask on here, but im getting hair extensions soon for around 200, 250 pound. Im just wondering if any1 else has had hair extensions for a cheaper price and how good are they? Any help would be ap...
A. 6 August 2007: My friend had hair extensions about 6 months ago. They were really quite long and the same colour as her hair and she paid about 300 pounds. They were very good ones and were very soft and lasted for about 3 months so I think the price you have is ... (read in full...)
'm just not the type anybody falls in love with. I'm getting old and terrified of dying alone!
Q. What people don't seem to realize, is the importance of having other people in your life, boosting your confidence and making you feel better about yourself. It would be perfect to have somebody who loves and cares about you. Even gorgeous women, ...
A. 6 August 2007: There is both good and bad news to this predicament. So I am gonna give you the bad news first.
There is no quick fix or guarantee that we will ever meet the love of our life. Its nothing we can manipulate, form a strategy for or even plan for... (read in full...)
How do I stop over analyzing my online relationship?
Q. Hi! I've been talking with a guy online for about 7 months now...recently he had to move to Japan for work, and I knew I wouldn't hear from him for about 10 days until he got a phone and got settled there... I've become very close to him, dispite ...
A. 6 August 2007: Hey there,
There is an old indian folk tale about three blind men who have never encountered an elephant. Each blind man feels the elephant and describes what he thinks an elephant is. One describes it as a tree, because he is feeling the leg, the... (read in full...)
Why does my fiancee still obssess over her ex bf's?
Q. My fiancee goes out of her way to do special things for me all the time but is still obsessing over her exes and when she ends up hearing from them over the phone, email, etc., she starts acting distant with me and sometimes it seems as if she is ...
A. 4 August 2007: She may not realise she is acting this way. You don't say how stable your relationship is but as she is your fiancee, I am guessing that you are pretty stable. Its a little unusual (although it happens)for her to still be in contact with her ex's, ... (read in full...)
Really like this guy, but I lack confidence. What can I do?
Q. Hi there, bit of a juvanile question but here goes. Im 32 years of age and there is a guy I like he works in my building (large building) and I notice him on regular occasions in the canteen or in the lift etc, I have never spoke to this guy and ...
A. 3 August 2007: I think you need to find out a little bit more about this man before you make your move. Try to casually find out if he is married or in a relationship first. Maybe get to know someone in his department who can put you 'in the know' about him. You ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend allows her ex and her kids to talk to her like she is a dog
Q. My girlfriend has been divorced since 1998 and has two boys. She still pays his bills for him (ex husbands), cleans his pool, and allows him to talk to her like she is a dog. If he calls her and she don't answer, he will call until she does. He lies ...
A. 3 August 2007: I am really glad you two have been able to talk about this and that she seems to now realise that she can begin to make changes for the better. She was obviously carrying a lot of unnecessary guilt from her previous marriage, and that isnt so ... (read in full...)
Will I ever get over this or should I leave?
Q. Hi I am 33 and have been married 11 years, we have two children and I am pregnant with our third child soon. I have found out that my husband who is the same age as me has had an affair with an 18 year old girl 'K' who worked a a telephone operator ...
A. 3 August 2007: I think it would be very beneficial for you and your husband to have some professional counselling. There are so many issues here and you are in a delicate state, I am not sure this is the best place to get advice. There are children involved and ... (read in full...)
Would it be wrong to have a f*** buddy while my girlfriend is out of state?
Q. Is casual sex OK when you love someone else who is not around? My girlfriend took a job that forces her to travel out of state for weeks at a time 90 percent of the time. I love her but dont want to sleep alone. Is it wrong to find a casual sexual ...
A. 3 August 2007: Good answer Daniel!!!!... (read in full...)
Why has he never got in touch with me???
Q. Sorry if this is long winded. I not sure where to start. I'm really hurting. I had been seeing a guy for 4 months and he said he loves me. We have been friends for 4 years before that. He always would text me every day and phoned me most and told...
A. 3 August 2007: As long as I live I will never understand the real reason why people stay involved with someone when they know that person is involved with someone else. These kind of games, where there is mistrust and deceit and apparently in your case, a pregnant ... (read in full...)
Where is a good place to meet viable men?
Q. Where do you meet people to date? I don't know where to meet worthwhile guys. I go out to the bar but all that those guys seem to be interested is sex, I don't go to school anymore and I work in a small office where there are no guys my age. I don't ...
A. 31 July 2007: You could try something like dancing class or try a sport. Its hard to meet someone suitable but you never know, you might just bump into the man of your dreams in a store or the park. I think if your looking you never seem to find and its those ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend allows her ex and her kids to talk to her like she is a dog
Q. My girlfriend has been divorced since 1998 and has two boys. She still pays his bills for him (ex husbands), cleans his pool, and allows him to talk to her like she is a dog. If he calls her and she don't answer, he will call until she does. He lies ...
A. 31 July 2007: She sounds like she has very low self esteem and maybe there is more to it than you know. Maybe he has some hold over her or there is fear there. Its very difficult to know what is really going on and obviously the children are learning from their ... (read in full...)
I don't know how this is all gonna end?
Q. I've been having an interesting relationship with a man who's married...well it's a whole lot a mess with this dude but it never really effected me and still his before life is no issue except for all the kids he already has... I believe I was told ...
A. 31 July 2007: Ok my jaw is on the floor reading this. What a completely messed up situation you are in. You have to wake up and smell the goddam coffee girl!!!. There ARE men out there who roll along impregnating women, starting multiple relationships, casting ... (read in full...)
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