A
female
age
36-40,
*aw Peep
writes:I have been talking to a 45 year old man (I'm 23) over the internet for about 5 months now. He lives about 13 hours away from me and I plan on moving to the state he lives in, in about 3 months (for college). Hes not married (is divorced). So we do plan to meet each other eventually. Anyways, I have seen several pictures of him and he has seen several of me...well recently I sent him some more pictures because he asked and it has been over a week since I sent them to him and he has not replied...Usually he writes back, especially when I have sent him pictures of myself in the past. What could be the problem? I don't want to write him because I am worried that he is not interested in me anymore and/or didn't like the pictures. Nothing was wrong with the pictures and I look the exact same, and I'm not ugly for christ's sake! So what should I do? Just move on or e-mail him? I'm not desperate, but I am confused about this whole thing. Thanks!
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divorce, move on, the internet Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Paw Peep +, writes (17 November 2009):
Paw Peep is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWOW..another update...he emailed me today. Has been going through his divorce(i knew this already but wan't sure that it was still going on) and his dad died. I know it might sound like bullshit but his kids are involved. He felt so bad about not emailing me back but he said he didn't want me to witness the state of mind he was in. Says his life is really hard to deal with now (divorce and two kids he loves) I think I can be too understanding at times to the point were I might believe someone if they are lying...so anyways...any advice? ,once again, on this ladies or gents? Thanks again for everyones help. :)
A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (8 November 2009):
 You probably ARE over it... or maybe that is a brave face that I would encourage (fake it until you make it).
I CAN say, he wasted your time, beautiful lady. :-)
In the future, you will take online, as intense as it can feel, with a grain of salt, and be better for it. That's all that matters.
Thank you very much for updating us.
Be well..
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A
female
reader, Paw Peep +, writes (6 November 2009):
Paw Peep is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell I sent him 1 email and he never responded. It is so weird. And he also deleted his online dating account, too. So strange...But I'm over it and really don't care but I still would have at least liked him to respond. Thanks for everyones help, too.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (6 October 2009):
 Well I doubt it's the pictures if you look the same in them. Maybe he has a really good reason for not writing back...busy etc. To put your mind at rest I would drop him a line or call him, you don't really have anything to lose by trying. Least ways you'll know whats up.
Don't break your heart hunny xxx
Aunty Em xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009): Why don't you just email him asking him why has he not replied? We don't know what is wrong. Ask for an honest answer. It's not like anyone want's to be ignored for a whole week, esp in a LDR.
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A
female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (6 October 2009):
My boyfriend of almost four years is 24 years my senior. It doesn't work for everyone, but it can and does for us.
Having said that, I would hesitate to take seriously anything that "develops" online.
While you can email him and ask if he got the pictures without looking desperate, I doubt I would. It's rude to get photos of someone that I asked for and not acknowledge receipt (assuming he has received them). I suppose anything could explain his lack of response.
Is his internet down? Did he accidentally delete the email unread? Did a wife he lied to you about having, find them and tell him off?
This is what is difficult about online and texted dialogue. We lose the ability to see or hear the unspoken clues which are important to communication.
If you choose to email him, it short and email only once.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009): I can't write long, but I will tell you this: The people we build in our heads are not the ones we meet in our realities. Summoning any type of emotion for a "phantom man" will leave you questioning your own sanity in the end. The problem with people like you and me is that we are too young to know what true love really is- you know the one you sacrifice for- so we sometimes allow our fancy to paint colorful panorama of what we think a grand affair is. Believe me, it's just an illusion. Let him go. Sure have friends online- talk to them- do not think yourself in love with any of them. It's just a stupid illusion
ALL the best,
Gerta
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (6 October 2009):
 You are playing with fire. What kind of pictures are you sending him? How do you know he's telling you the truth about himself? He's one year short of being TWICE your age and don't buy the crap about age being just a number, that only works when it's only a few years difference. I'd move on if I were you, in 3 months you'll be in college and meeting all kinds of swell guys your own age and you will be having a wonderful time.
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A
female
reader, kitty_3 +, writes (6 October 2009):
 is it possible that he didn't get them or suddenly got too busy to write?
i'd try sending a casual hey, i haven't heard from you in a while sort of thing.
good luck!
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A
female
reader, Pinky XxX +, writes (6 October 2009):
 It sounds a bit dodgy to me. I personally think that he isn't the man you think he is. But if you really like him and still want things to happen then just wait a little longer, see what happens. If you still don't hear from him then move on. You can do much better than someone who doesn't dedicate himself to you and want to talk to you. Hope that helps
Good Luck
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