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... Send *untyEm a private message | | | *untyEm's profile:Hello, there. I am a 49 year old mother of two girls.
What qualifies me to give advice?...well I guess because I have had a pretty hard time and have learned a lot in my lifetime.
Divorce, teenage kids, money worries, relationship worries...all manner of things I have coped with and I am still here to tell the tale.
My answers will be pretty hard hitting. This is because I will tell you what you NEED to hear and not what you WANT to hear. This isn't always popular but I would rather get to the heart of the matter and tell it like I see it rather than give someone false hope or a misleading answer that could make them even more confused.
God Bless all who take time to give precious advice here, it has restored my faith in human kindness :-) xxxxx |
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This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 December 2009: To everyone on DEAR CUPID, Having been an 'Aunt' on DC for a couple of years I have to say that I absolutely love and adore this site. It confirms to me that in a jaded cynical and unscrupulous world there are still people who care enough abou...
A Survival Guide for the serial Dumpee!!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2007: Are you continually getting dumped?, Do you never get passed the first date? 1) Never assume love. The more you think you like a guy, the more you must let him chase you.Don't lose your head and think you love him, before things have evn gott...
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He loves me..he loves me not..he loves me?
Q. i met this guy 3 years in october he keeped telling me that hes in love with me and then out of the blue he told me that he wasnt in love with me anymore and that he loves me deep down what should i do ...
A. 14 June 2009: Im not in the best of moods today as I have just split with my partner but here goes...men who don't know what they want arn't worth getting into a relationship with. Be friends, keep it platonic without sexual contact and wait and see if hes ... (read in full...)
Tips to help you get through the hard times.
Q. This is a bit different to my last article. I’m not sure if you could even call it an article as such. Basically, I want to share a few tips and techniques that I have learned for how to get through difficult times in life. I’ve had plenty of those ...
A. 14 June 2009: Excellent help and very well written and explained. Im going through a troublesome time at present and this has helped me.
Thankyou xxxxx... (read in full...)
How soon do I tell person I'm dating about my ex
Q. I'm looking at starting a new relationship with a woman. I've been separated from my ex for several months now, but we still have a business relationship and I am close to her family. Because of the business relationship a lot of people don't ...
A. 14 June 2009: Well I hope it all goes great for you and wish you happiness for the future xxx... (read in full...)
I'm only attracted to guys wanting sex. Am I the problem?
Q. I feel like I seem to only attract guys wanting sex. Out of all the guys I have met, every single one of them (except one) has only wanted sex. I found out even my ex bf only wanted sex too. I dont think its how I dress - i dress pretty respectable. ...
A. 14 June 2009: Maybe your just a very attractive girl and you 'inspire' mens sexual thoughts. Most men think about sex A LOT but the majority can control themselves. Most younger men don't necessarily want to get into a serious relationship but might 'chance their ... (read in full...)
After 2 years of marriage I just find out that my husband has children!
Q. i have been married for over 2 years i asked my husband even before we were going out if he has children he said no. I have found out that he has 2 or more children. i feel like my life as been a lie, i feel decieved and my husband has been ...
A. 14 June 2009: 2 or more??...doesn't he know how many?? Blimey what a magnificent guy and so kind of him to lie to you about it. It's not like covering up that he loves kittens or wore socks in bed!!! these are his children!!!!
He most certainly has been con... (read in full...)
Stuck in this triangle competing for my husband!
Q. I have trust issues with my husband. i resently found out the he has been secretly contacting his ex girlfriend calling and texting her up to 5 times a day.i feel insecure that he dont even communicate with me on that level and i am his wife. I have ...
A. 14 June 2009: You are absolutely not being over sensitive. This has happened to me in the past and I was completely hurt shocked and outraged. He has continued to text her and, as you say, it has caused problems for you in the past. By saying he 'comes home to ... (read in full...)
Can pre-cum make her pregnant?
Q. my girlfriend says she thinks she is pregnant and she is have all symtoms in after two days it that possible? i didnt cum in her but precumed in her can someone get preg from that? Moderators note - Have re written the question as the spelling...
A. 14 June 2009: Yes a girl can get pregant from pre cum, even if full penetration has not taken place. The risk is reduced but still a risk no less.
You are just going to have to wait and see if she is pregnant or ask her to obtain the morning after pill (Levonel... (read in full...)
Can ex and I be on same dating site?
Q. My ex and I just broke up a month ago. He is on a dating site. Is it ok for me to be on the same dating site? He is on one of the best. We are not trying to get each other back. He was on this site first. I haven't put up my profile yet....
A. 14 June 2009: When a relationship ends, all bets are off and you are free to do whatever you wish without considering the other party. Don't look at his profile, even if it pops up. Just get on with your own life and have fun.
(Of course if your both using th... (read in full...)
How soon do I tell person I'm dating about my ex
Q. I'm looking at starting a new relationship with a woman. I've been separated from my ex for several months now, but we still have a business relationship and I am close to her family. Because of the business relationship a lot of people don't ...
A. 14 June 2009: I think honesty where ex's are concerned is paramount when beginning a new relationship. If you place all your cards on the table and state your intentions, then everyone involved knows the score. Hiding anything so important will just create ... (read in full...)
Can you get sick or aids from getting a blow job?
Q. I am sure this question has been asked before, but can you get sick or get AIDS from receiving a blow job? Please help I am freaking out.. ...
A. 14 June 2009: If another person gives you a blow job, it's unlikely you will get sick from it. HIV is transferred through blood, semen and vaginal fluid, not through saliva, so unless someone bit into your penis and they were bleeding from a wound in their own ... (read in full...)
Should I forget about him or offer him a shoulder to cry on if she cheats again?
Q. for the past few months i have had a crush on a boy that i know. we used to be friend and he even said that he liked me as more than a friend but a month ago one of my mates asked him out and he said yes. ever since they started going out, he hasn't ...
A. 14 June 2009: It's probably best to not come between them. Whatever happens between them is going to happen anyway, whether they stay together or she cheats on him, or he puts up with it and stays with her.
Feeling love for someone who doesn't feel the same... (read in full...)
This guy will NOT come crawling back!
Q. after ending a 4 yrs relationship which was aweful we have had no contact for 3 months now. she was abusive, selfish, rude, disrepectful. but it ended with us both mad and leaving. if she ever text me and ask how im doing i will never reply, but ...
A. 11 June 2009: Anger and pain are strange phenomenon. As much as we hate to feel these emotions, they protect us and allow us to release a lot of pent up negativity that arises when a relationship ends.
Reading between the lines and despite your stance, it's pla... (read in full...)
Can I get him back? Do men change their opinion on somebody?
Q. Hi there! First of all thanks for the answer I can have :) I have known this guy for 2 months already, we went out at the beggining for a couple of days (have sex, being public together) and after a week of being intimate he dissapear. From ...
A. 11 June 2009: Sadly he probably wont ever come back to you. It seems, by the way he's been treating you that he just used you for sex. It's a man thing and millions of women fall for it, even though they know having sex too early in a new relationship will ruin ... (read in full...)
I'm really lonely but my two daughters get upset if I date anyone else
Q. My wife died two years ago and I have thinking about dating again. But my daughters (they`ll 4 and 7) get very upset if I talk to them about it. I haven`t been on one date since cause it felt I was betraying my wife. Now I have been on a ...
A. 10 June 2009: Absolutely not!!! Your daughters are very young and obviously miss their mother and this is natural and will take a lot of time to heal...but dont confuse this with them not wanting you to date. They might be a little put out by this (despite their ... (read in full...)
Moved away from home to be with him, now I'm home alone and so sad!
Q. so me and my boyfriend started out great he was so sweet and we got along great. we moved in together 2 months ago and it wasn't just down the road its 3 hours away from my friends and family.. so I haven't been able to find a job yet and I just sit ...
A. 10 June 2009: It sounds to me that you are suffering from a bit of home sickness and are maybe getting a little bit blue over it.
You have moved away from home, away from your family and your life has changed...this is bound to unsettle you. Its probably... (read in full...)
I regret my decision to leave him! What can I do?
Q. After a 14 year relationship of ups and downs in and outs we still love each other but he said it just won't work because of Family and the disagreements and things said in anger.... I believe that it could be and would be different, I was going ...
A. 10 June 2009: Your post made me cry and highlights again to me how fragile we are in our suffering. Life, at times deals us harsh blows and we don't and often can't make the right decision...we just do what we feel is best at the time. Sometimes we look back ... (read in full...)
He say's I can't come to his house because it is too messy!
Q. Hi. I have been seeing an old friend I used to know from high school... He is 38, I am 39. He has been to my place every other night for the last month or so...We have been intimate, and he has told me he loves me and I feel like I totally trust him ...
A. 10 June 2009: Hopefully he will hunny...:-) the very best of luck to you xxxxx... (read in full...)
He say's I can't come to his house because it is too messy!
Q. Hi. I have been seeing an old friend I used to know from high school... He is 38, I am 39. He has been to my place every other night for the last month or so...We have been intimate, and he has told me he loves me and I feel like I totally trust him ...
A. 10 June 2009: :-) Tell him, if he doesn't let you in your going to storm the building with a tank!!!
...but seriously, maybe he's just really is embarrassed. Don't be hurt at all, just ask sweetly if he would like a few days of not seeing you so he can have a c... (read in full...)
Help me see why I was so eager to conceive with my ex?
Q. i really wanted to have a baby for about 7 years, and the desire grows as i get older. i'm almost 30. i got stupid over it in my last relationship and hoped for mistakes, actually let him cum in me once and never had protected sex with him because ...
A. 1 June 2009: Before you have a child I think you should first deal with some of the issues you have over wanting to get pregnant with someone who doesn't want to have a baby with you. I am sure for all the reasons people choose to have children, genetics take a ... (read in full...)
So whats he really thinking?
Q. I have been in contact with a myspace friend for almost 2yrs. We have talked, emailed and texted during this time. Both of us are single. I have no children as he has 4 kids living with him, he is divorced twice. 3 kids from his first wife and ...
A. 1 June 2009: Hmmm this is a real mixture of a problem. I am just gonna come right out and say it. Your making several errors...
1) You hardly know this man, despite internet contact, you've only met once and cannot possibly know him as a whole person. ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to want closure?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I really need some advice. I posted on here before. My partner left me about 3 months ago, just suddenly ignored me then got nasty when I asked him why. I am still really upset because we were so close for the 6 yrs we w...
A. 26 May 2009: You have my sympathy as it's always tough when a long term relationship ends. It seems logical that going around to his house unannounced would be the wrong thing to do. His ex obviously did this and it never worked for her, so to be honest, it ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and scared...
Q. Hi. well basicly im 17, living in the UK and im not going to be all dramatic and cry at you, because its my fault im in this mess and whats happened cannot be changed. i was with my boyfriend for 2 years and a month. ill admit, im still madly in ...
A. 20 May 2009: Darlin' I feel for you, what a very worrying and scary time your going through and thank god your parents are helping you. There is no point preaching as whats done is done and you need to give yourself a little alone time to absorb and sort out how ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and scared...
Q. Hi. well basicly im 17, living in the UK and im not going to be all dramatic and cry at you, because its my fault im in this mess and whats happened cannot be changed. i was with my boyfriend for 2 years and a month. ill admit, im still madly in ...
A. 20 May 2009: Darlin' I feel for you, what a very worrying and scary time your going through and thank god your parents are helping you. There is no point preaching as whats done is done and you need to give yourself a little alone time to absorb and sort out how ... (read in full...)
Am I neurtoic? Wasting my time? Or both?
Q. i met this girl via a dating website, ive used a dating website before a few years ago and generally think theyre a pretty false way to meet people, anyway i was just browsing, saw someone i liked, joined, got in touch and to cut a long story short ...
A. 12 May 2009: I think you answered your own question there!!! You know that you really like this woman and have decided not to date anyone else...sadly shes not in the same place and it seems she wants to be more casual about dating.
It's not that unusual ... (read in full...)
I'm not ready to be a middle aged old bag!
Q. I just had my 30th birthday last week, and it's a shock to reach that age where you have to feel ashamed of how old you are. I'm not ready to be a middle aged old bag. I wish and wish I were a young girl again. I've been extremely depressed, and ...
A. 12 May 2009: Good Grief!!! 30??? middle aged??? c'mon!!!!
I don't think your crazy but honestly if you carry on thinking your life is over because your 30, then eventually it will drive you crazy. Life isn't about what age you are...it's about having experien... (read in full...)
Going out of my mind with worry!
Q. Hello dear cupid Family, I have a lot to ask and to talk about. I am a 42 yrsr old going through a divorce have been living apart for more then a year with my hubby but met this man I fell madly in Love with, there is only a zillion things that ...
A. 6 May 2009: As things have deteriorated with this man, it's probably time to quit and walk away. You are not responsible for his illness and I doubt anything you contribute to his life would improve his illness. As I said before, it's a sad situation but now I ... (read in full...)
Going out of my mind with worry!
Q. Hello dear cupid Family, I have a lot to ask and to talk about. I am a 42 yrsr old going through a divorce have been living apart for more then a year with my hubby but met this man I fell madly in Love with, there is only a zillion things that ...
A. 27 April 2009: What a very sad situation to be in. Im not sure what advice would be for the best from this site as being with someone who has a mental health condition probably requires the help of a trained counsellor or a doctor.
On a practical level, if you r... (read in full...)
He mentally abused me, how can someone do that?
Q. Crying my eyes out as i write this. Ive just found out my boyfriend of 3yrs has slept with 10 women behind my back! We dont live in the same town and i always new deep down something was wrong! Nights out with the lads getting drunk not knowing how ...
A. 27 April 2009: I am truly sorry to hear you are going through so much pain over this man. When things like this happen, it's like a massive wake up call. You felt something was going on and now it's confirmed, its opened the flood gates on all the supressed ... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong for believing that we can spend the rest of our lives together?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months now and we haven't fought at all and we're always happy when we're together and we see each other every weekend. Since about 2 months into dating, He's always talking about us being together for the ...
A. 27 April 2009: Nope your absolutely not wrong to believe it, because anything is possible if you really love someone. Even at a young age, love is very real to those who experience it and feelings can be deep and intense. Your friends and family are probably just ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says she is looking to date other men but I am having trouble with this
Q. my girlfriend says she is looking to date other men but i am having trouble with this what should i do?...
A. 27 April 2009: Hey there, Firstly ask yourself why your girlfriend wants to date other men? Then ask her why she wants to date other men? Then ask yourself if you are happy being with a woman who wants to date other men!! As you say she is 'looking' I assum... (read in full...)
How can I say no without making things awkward with the employer?
Q. Times are tough for me financially right now, and I'm trying to set myself up in a new country, newly married etc. I've been sort of forced to take this part-time nannying job while I look for other work. The child is 2 years old, and the family i...
A. 15 April 2009: Well they do say honesty is the best policy. Perhaps you can request a meeting with her to discuss your terms of employment. Be calm but state that you are not happy with the situation as it is. It seems to me that she needs your help pretty badly ... (read in full...)
Sees me out, we have sex, and then he doesn't get back to me! Its happened twice!
Q. Im gonna be honest from the start about my problem and would like honest answers. Back in December I slept with a man who afterwards didnt want to know me because I had a drug problem. I did have a cocaine problem until January of this year when his ...
A. 15 April 2009: Sadly, to him, it seems as if you have just become someone to have sex with. I know you probably don't want to hear that and it may be painful, as you obviously like this fella but in all reality, if he really wanted you as a girlfriend, he would be ... (read in full...)
Are we just friends? Why do we act the way we do then?
Q. Hi. I met a guy online about 4 months ago. We chatted and finally met in person. Since then we email each other everyday, the whole day, text everyday when one or the other is out of the country, when he comes into town (he lives faraway) we always ...
A. 9 April 2009: Hmm his words say 'friends' but his actions say 'more than friends'.
Maybe he's scared that yoou will reject him, so to save his dissapointment, he's declared you 'just friends' maybe to test your reaction or maybe because he wants to make sur... (read in full...)
Says he's not in the right state of mind
Q. ive been speaking to this guy for a week and a half now.. he's 23 and im 18, we are both interested in each other but he has just came out of a 2 year relationship, 3 months ago, bringing with him alot of money problems. i asked him the ot...
A. 17 March 2009: Hey there,
Well it seems to me that maybe he just wants time to get over his ex.It was quite a lengthy one at 2 years and maybe he still has some thoughts and feelings left over. For most people, it's hard to go from one serious relation... (read in full...)
I discovered my b/f cheated and has had a child, how can I be sure he doesn't see his child?
Q. me and my boyfriend have two children together and going back last year i found out he has another child in between the age gap of my children he says he wants nothing to do with the other child. i found out he was seeing the child behind my back, ...
A. 5 March 2009: I don't think you can stop him seeing the child. Look at it from that child's point of view. It is not the childs fault and the childs father, your partner has rights under British law to have access.
Instead of trying to prevent him from seeing h... (read in full...)
How do you cope when you just can't have the one you have wanted for years?
Q. I'm out of resources. Out of hope. A long time ago I fell in love with a man who fell in love with me. Things were never perfect but it was "forever" or so I thought. Life got in the way. We were young and didn't have control over things....
A. 5 March 2009: I don't think your an awful person. Not even one little bit. I think your predicament sounds like absolute torture and I am so sorry you are living with that.
I wonder how the man you so desperately love feels?
Does he feel the same way?
If ... (read in full...)
Caught in the middle
Q. Well I am new at this, but don't know where to turn. I need some advice and hopefully someone can help me. It starts off with one of my good friends, we have know each other for about two years and work together. She is married and is currently ...
A. 5 March 2009: Dear jericho,
No hunny, your not wrong for having these feelings. This woman is obviously a close and dear friend to you and you have seen her go through many struggles with her marriage. It is natural, if you think so much of her, that you do n... (read in full...)
Abrupt silence. What's going on here?
Q. Hi everyone, I need some help/advice/opinions. So i recently contacted an old flame. First of all, Im terrified of rejection, so I'm generally not too forward when it comes to relationships. But I feel so strongly for this man I took the chance ...
A. 5 March 2009: If I were you I would actually leave pretty much well alone. You have to remember that it was you who contacted him. He was polite to you, as men usually are, but if he really would have wanted to restart things with you again, he would have been ... (read in full...)
Is it true that having sex in the early weeks of a pregnancy can increase the risk of miscarriage?
Q. I've posted on here previously about having had a couple of miscarriages this year. I was speaking with a friend recently who happens to be pregnant - she's had a couple of he incidents with bleeding although so far everything seems fine thank ...
A. 2 March 2009: Yes it can increase the risk of miscarriage in the first trimester when the pregnancy is in a delicate developmental stage. Also a mans sperm contains hormone that can soften the cervix, similar to prostin used for induction of labour. Many women ... (read in full...)
He doesn't return my feelings and I'm afraid these feelings will never go away!
Q. hi i've liked this guy for ages and now i find out he doesnt like me. so basically its rejection and everyone knows i like him and he knows i like him and it just hurts and i'm scared that these feeling are never going to go away and i'm going...
A. 2 March 2009: Aww hunny...sending you a big hug. Rejection is really damn painful. I dont think there are too many people in the world who haven't had to suffer this kind of pain, so you are definitely not on your own.
If this boy has said he isnt ready th... (read in full...)
Does his attentiveness and effort mean anything in terms of his interest in me?
Q. I met a guy online and he just asked me out. We went to the same college years ago so I know he’s not some strange old man :) We’ve been emailing for just over 2 weeks and I've seen load of pictures of him. He’s very attentive to what I say and r...
A. 2 March 2009: It sounds like he is making a special effort to make a nice date for you both. If you know him from before, then meet him for the date. Be open and friendly and just have fun. Its hard to say what his future intentions are as probably neither of you ... (read in full...)
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