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... Send *untyEm a private message | | | *untyEm's profile:Hello, there. I am a 49 year old mother of two girls.
What qualifies me to give advice?...well I guess because I have had a pretty hard time and have learned a lot in my lifetime.
Divorce, teenage kids, money worries, relationship worries...all manner of things I have coped with and I am still here to tell the tale.
My answers will be pretty hard hitting. This is because I will tell you what you NEED to hear and not what you WANT to hear. This isn't always popular but I would rather get to the heart of the matter and tell it like I see it rather than give someone false hope or a misleading answer that could make them even more confused.
God Bless all who take time to give precious advice here, it has restored my faith in human kindness :-) xxxxx |
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This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 December 2009: To everyone on DEAR CUPID, Having been an 'Aunt' on DC for a couple of years I have to say that I absolutely love and adore this site. It confirms to me that in a jaded cynical and unscrupulous world there are still people who care enough abou...
A Survival Guide for the serial Dumpee!!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2007: Are you continually getting dumped?, Do you never get passed the first date? 1) Never assume love. The more you think you like a guy, the more you must let him chase you.Don't lose your head and think you love him, before things have evn gott...
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I don't know how this is all gonna end?
Q. I've been having an interesting relationship with a man who's married...well it's a whole lot a mess with this dude but it never really effected me and still his before life is no issue except for all the kids he already has... I believe I was told ...
A. 31 July 2007: Ok my jaw is on the floor reading this. What a completely messed up situation you are in. You have to wake up and smell the goddam coffee girl!!!. There ARE men out there who roll along impregnating women, starting multiple relationships, casting ... (read in full...)
I am tired of my relationship...
Q. I am tired of my relationship.. I am tired of being the one holding out our relationship together.. I feel so much pressure.. I feel that if I stop trying, we'll eventually split up... It is so much work.. I was expecting a more normal ...
A. 31 July 2007: There is one simple answer. If you are not happy and, after trying, nothing can be put right...then it's time to let it go and maybe find someone else who makes you happy.
Aunty Em x
... (read in full...)
people are saying we're incest and inbreads but we're neither.
Q. I am 16 and when I was 13 my step brother and I started going out. I had fancied him for ages and when he asked me out I was so pleased. I didn't really think anything would come of it, I thought it would probably last a couple of weeks or ...
A. 31 July 2007: If you arn't blood related and your parents are ok with it all, then I don't think you should take any notice of what other people say. Their comments are just stemmed from ignorance, so thats their problem and not yours. As long as you are both ... (read in full...)
She seems very stern about breaking up, should I continut to work on our relationship or just let her go her own way?
Q. My girlfriend and I started out as freinds for over 2 years. We have been dating for 8 months. She is a recovering alcoholic and most of these 8 months has been hell. After a day of drinking she would lose her temper over nothing and cause huge ...
A. 31 July 2007: Hey there,
You seem to have tolerated an awful lot of stress and worry to keep this relationship going. Your girlfriend obviously has major issues and its good that she is seeking help for them as I think they are just too big for you to sort out... (read in full...)
I'm confused. Maybe I should be on my own and get rid of this guy as I dont want to take on his kids
Q. Hello everyone hope you are all well. I turned 30 last week and need some advice. I met a guy over the internet about 4mths ago. we went to primary school together and i really fancied him then, but he never looked at me. i've known him since i was ...
A. 31 July 2007: Im really glad that you have decided to take some time for yourself. It really does make the difference. Good luck to you.
Aunty Em xx... (read in full...)
Do they have "chavs" in America?
Q. In britain we have an unfortunate race of people known as chavs. A chav is some one who: wears a baseball cap, wears a tracksuit (notably adidas), drives a cheap awful hatchback (citroen saxo usually) with a gigantic exhaust and the back. And th...
A. 26 July 2007: Ive been to the states...I didn't see any 'Chavs' so I guess they are unique to England.
Aunty Em x... (read in full...)
I've just been dumped.
Q. Earlier today I was dumped. I cried histarically for some time. So now I feel really drained and pathetic. Does anyone have any advise? any would be appreciated. Thanks a million, xx...
A. 25 July 2007:
I recommend lots of ice cream and a big bubble bath. It hurts when you get dumped, it's something that happens to us all at times and it makes you feel terrible. But take kenny's advice...go out and have fun and try not to think about it too much... (read in full...)
Still a virgin at 25!
Q. Hello. I am almost 25 years old and still a virgin. I went to 2 boys schools as a child, so up until I left school at around 18, I hadn't had much contact with girls as I was very shy and introverted. Subsequently I spent 4 years at University an...
A. 25 July 2007: I don't think it really matters if you have gotten to 25 and never had sex. Your obviously really comfortable around women and have made some of them your good friends. Eventually one will come along who you won't be able to resist and love making ... (read in full...)
Why can't i get over her?
Q. It's been 7 months since my first ex and I broke up, why can't I get over her?...
A. 25 July 2007: Well it may be cheating and it may not, you might never know and as she has moved on, it makes little difference. Not all girls will cheat and its unfair to assume they will. No two people are the same. Don't let it bring you down.
Aunty Em x... (read in full...)
Brother's new girlfriend is expecting, should I tell my ex sister in law?
Q. Please help! My brother cheated on his wife. She found out, patched it up, but made his life unbearable. He left and went back to the other women 9 months ago. We didn't know until he announced they were having a baby due now! My brother and ex-w...
A. 25 July 2007: Thats a really tough one isn't it. You poor woman. To be honest, as I see it, your sister in law is going to be devestated over this, however she finds out...but she will find out eventually. Is it better for her to find out by accident and then ... (read in full...)
It won't go in...
Q. Me and my girlfriend are both virgins. When me and my Gf tried having sex, my penis just wouldn't go in. Can anyone help me out here?...
A. 25 July 2007: Try using some lubrication like KY jelly...spread over the condom when you have it on (always use a condom even if your girlfriend is on the pill) Be gently and just ease yourself into her. Partial penetration only may be possible for the first ... (read in full...)
I love my girlfriend but i can't stop thinking about my best friend.
Q. I have a GF, and my best friend who is a girl we shared a hug and there was this moment when i forgot my GF and being with my best friend seemed perfect. What should i do?, i love my GF but now i am constantly thinking about my best friend in a ...
A. 25 July 2007: Simple...be a man and decide who you really want.Think about each of them and what it is you want from a relationship. Staying with your girlfriend when your thinking about someone else is unfair to her as it is preventing her from meeting someone ... (read in full...)
Can you sleep with a boy that's under aged without getting into trouble?
Q. I know that if a guy is over 16 and a girl isn't if they have sex the guy can get into huge trouble with the police if they get caught. What happens if it is vice versa (the girl is over 16 and the guy isn't?)...
A. 25 July 2007: You would still get into trouble if the boy was underage. Don't be so quick to rush into sex, young people throw this part of themselves away so quickly and they are not mature enough to know its consequences.
If you feel the need to be close wi... (read in full...)
Is it selfish of me to want to be his first priority? I don't get the emotional support I crave
Q. I asked a question on the 17th of July about what I should do about the situation I have with my boyfriend of 2 years that is not tending to my emotional needs. I got some great advice, thank you! My situation unfortunately still stands. I am trying ...
A. 25 July 2007: A person can only give so much and it's not fair, if they are trying but failing to meet our needs, that we push for more and more. You sound like you have deep emotional issues that maybe require the help of a professional therapist or counsellor. ... (read in full...)
He has not mentioned me on his myspace account.
Q. Hi all I would really appreciate your opinion. I have been with my guy for nearly 6 years. About 2 months ago we split after a huge row. (we started to talk not long after)I went on holiday for 2 weeks. We love eachother very much. ...
A. 25 July 2007: You seem to be worrying about something that happened but has now been resolved. He made the MYSPACE when he had split from you, so he has a right to state he was single at that time. He was honest enough to say he would add you when he knew where ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend still texts her ex, what should i do?
Q. My girlfriend is still texting her ex. It really irritates me. What should I do? Should I give her an ultimatum?...
A. 25 July 2007: It could be that shes just keeping in touch, lots of people stay in touch with ex's but I guess the telling thing would be how she's treating you. If you have a good close relationship, she says encouraging things and is warm and affectionate, then ... (read in full...)
Why can't i get over her?
Q. It's been 7 months since my first ex and I broke up, why can't I get over her?...
A. 25 July 2007: Well there you go, she has definitely moved on. Don't allow yourself to brood over it, take a big deep breath, get dressed up and go out and start meeting other people. Your now a free man to do as you please.
Good Luck and let me know how you ... (read in full...)
I'm confused. Maybe I should be on my own and get rid of this guy as I dont want to take on his kids
Q. Hello everyone hope you are all well. I turned 30 last week and need some advice. I met a guy over the internet about 4mths ago. we went to primary school together and i really fancied him then, but he never looked at me. i've known him since i was ...
A. 24 July 2007: It sounds like you answered your own question and you do sound very confused about it. Give yourself some time away from dating and just try to find out who you are first. Get some counselling for your self esteem issues or get some self help books ... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and live in the UK; can I get a home by myself? I'm worried what I'll do to my parents
Q. dear cupid i would like to know is it possible to leave my house at the age of 16, because i am finding it difficult to live with my parents as i am always causing them problems and trouble. i am living in the UK by the way and just want to kno...
A. 24 July 2007: I think your just panicking because you maybe let rip and were rude to your mother. Its nothing that cant be put right, and if your acting in a bad way or getting in trouble with the police, then your parents have ever right to get mad at you about ... (read in full...)
If I register on this site will I get tons of spam?
Q. I'm thinking of registering on this site but am a little cautious about giving my email details in case I subsequently get inundated with unwanted spam emails which have been the bane of my life in the past. Can anyone reassure me that if I DO reg...
A. 24 July 2007: I havent had any spam since I joined so I think you will be ok.
Its a good site...come join us x
Aunty Em... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and live in the UK; can I get a home by myself? I'm worried what I'll do to my parents
Q. dear cupid i would like to know is it possible to leave my house at the age of 16, because i am finding it difficult to live with my parents as i am always causing them problems and trouble. i am living in the UK by the way and just want to kno...
A. 24 July 2007: It is possible for you to leave home at 16 but it will be very difficult to find somewhere to live and to support yourself without a job. I know you might not want to hear this but I think you should try to resolve the issues with your parents.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend goes out with his buddies and dances with other women
Q. im always uneasy about my boyfriend going out with his guy friends and brother. they are all single and he is the only one with a girlfriend. i dont see why i cant come along when his guy friends are interested in going out to dance with and meet ...
A. 24 July 2007: Ask yourself if your happy with this situation. Ask yourself if there is anything you can do to change it. How would your boyfriend react if you tagged along to some of these 'boys' nights out? Do you know for a fact that he dances with other ... (read in full...)
Now that she knows marriage is imminent my girlfriend seems to be questioning everything in life
Q. for the past eight months my girl friend has been begging to get married. now that she knows it is close she seams to be second guessing everything in life it seems. so, could some one just tell me that shes just scard and it is normal, or should i ...
A. 24 July 2007: It just sounds like cold feet. Getting married is a HUGE step in life, it changes a lot of things and maybe she is just evaluating what impact it will have on her. Unless she flat out tells you she doesn't want to go ahead, I am sure all will be ... (read in full...)
I'm a male, but I want to be a female - what steps are involved?
Q. I'm male, 19 and I want to be female. How could I go about this? And would I have to be with other guys or would it be possible to be with women?...
A. 24 July 2007: Before you address any of the issues about who you want to be with, it is probably best that you address your desire to become a female. In order to do this, you need to speak to your doctor, who (if they cannot answer your questions themself) will ... (read in full...)
Can shame make a person withdraw?
Q. when people are ashamed of something they have done can it make them withdraw? and also, what does shame feel like?...
A. 24 July 2007:
Shame is when you feel really bad or regretful about something you have done. It may make you feel sick or tearful and yes it can make you feel like withdrawing away from something or someone, especially the person you hurt.
Aunty Em x... (read in full...)
I need to be sure she is marrying me for the right reasons. She doesnt show me affection!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been going out with my partner for bout a year. I really love her and care for her greatly but I find myself fighting for her attention. She seems to care more for her family then she ever would me. I find myself doing sil...
A. 24 July 2007: You really need to speak to her and tell her how you feel, she may not be aware of your feelings. If you are getting married in church, try to speak to the minister for some pre marital guidance, most churches offer this service, failing that try to ... (read in full...)
My friend said I remind him of an actress I find ugly and it really hurt my feelings; am I overreacting?
Q. I have a relatively new friend who has always been sweet and kind towards me but said something recently that I find I am really insulted by. He commented that I reminded him of the actress Kirsty Alley. Now this may seem silly to most people, but I ...
A. 24 July 2007: God I wished I looked like Kirsty Alley. I look more like her granma heheh!!!
xx... (read in full...)
Why can't i get over her?
Q. It's been 7 months since my first ex and I broke up, why can't I get over her?...
A. 23 July 2007: Well like I said, your first is always special and this probably explains why you can't move on, but if you never move on, how are you ever going to meet 'Miss Right'??? Darling I know how tough it is, but you have to put yourself back out there, ... (read in full...)
He takes me for granted and won't put more into our relationship; I love him but I also want to leave
Q. I have this very handsome boyfriend who is not sweet, lazy, dependent, doesn't give into the relationship. We are together for 4.5 years and I've been cooking and also washing dishes at least 3~4 nites a week. We are both working and I get very ...
A. 23 July 2007: If you have tried to talk to him, but he won't change his ways, it's probably time to call it a day. Your not happy and he isn't going to try to make you happy. Think about what you do want from a relationship.
Is having love for someone enough? ... (read in full...)
Why can't i get over her?
Q. It's been 7 months since my first ex and I broke up, why can't I get over her?...
A. 23 July 2007: Its never easy when a relationship breaks down and when its your first, it's all the harder to face. Perhaps there are issues surrounding the break up that you have not addressed, maybe there were things left unsaid. In your head you know you have ... (read in full...)
What does witty mean?
Q. A girl i fancy so badly told me she would love to have a boyfriend with great sense of humour, witty comments who's loving and tender. I get some of it, but what is witty comments? And what does she mean by being tender?...
A. 23 July 2007: Witty is just another word for being funny or comical, it means a person has a natural flair for humour and can make amusing remarks with ease. By being tender, she means she wants you to be gentle with her, possibly affectionate, like holding hands ... (read in full...)
I fantasise about her having sex with strangers; is this normal?
Q. I am in love with this woman, but we are living apart (in different continents) so we talk a lot on the fone about sex and fantasies. We tell each other storys and get off that way. My problem is that I get very excited when I imaging her getting ...
A. 23 July 2007: Have you met this woman in the flesh?...like for real? Have you spent any time with her on a day to day basis?. If you haven't then I don't think you can even assume that you have a proper relationship with her and having these fantasy thoughts ... (read in full...)
How can i help my shattered wife?
Q. Hi, my wife has just given birth our beautiful baby daughter and we are really happy. The thing is i'm back at work full time now and she is at home with the baby at the moment until the baby can go to a nursery and my wife will go back to work part...
A. 23 July 2007: Having children is a life changing event and even though it can be a very happy time, nobody can tell you beforehand just what it will be like when the baby arrives and how it will affect you and your partner...its a very tiring and trying time for ... (read in full...)
How can i help my shattered wife?
Q. Hi, my wife has just given birth our beautiful baby daughter and we are really happy. The thing is i'm back at work full time now and she is at home with the baby at the moment until the baby can go to a nursery and my wife will go back to work part...
A. 23 July 2007: Having children is a life changing event and even though it can be a very happy time, nobody can tell you beforehand just what it will be like when the baby arrives and how it will affect you and your partner...its a very tiring and trying time for ... (read in full...)
How can i help my shattered wife?
Q. Hi, my wife has just given birth our beautiful baby daughter and we are really happy. The thing is i'm back at work full time now and she is at home with the baby at the moment until the baby can go to a nursery and my wife will go back to work part...
A. 23 July 2007: Having children is a life changing event and even though it can be a very happy time, nobody can tell you beforehand just what it will be like when the baby arrives and how it will affect you and your partner...its a very tiring and trying time for ... (read in full...)
How can i help my shattered wife?
Q. Hi, my wife has just given birth our beautiful baby daughter and we are really happy. The thing is i'm back at work full time now and she is at home with the baby at the moment until the baby can go to a nursery and my wife will go back to work part...
A. 23 July 2007: Having children is a life changing event and even though it can be a very happy time, nobody can tell you beforehand just what it will be like when the baby arrives and how it will affect you and your partner...its a very tiring and trying time for ... (read in full...)
How can i help my shattered wife?
Q. Hi, my wife has just given birth our beautiful baby daughter and we are really happy. The thing is i'm back at work full time now and she is at home with the baby at the moment until the baby can go to a nursery and my wife will go back to work part...
A. 23 July 2007: Having children is a life changing event and even though it can be a very happy time, nobody can tell you beforehand just what it will be like when the baby arrives and how it will affect you and your partner...its a very tiring and trying time for ... (read in full...)
How long should i wait?
Q. I've contacted a guy on a website that you have to pay a subscription fee for (which is what ive done so i can contact this guy outside of work). Is it unreasonable for me to be expecting he does the same to contact me? I wrote asking how he was, ...
A. 22 July 2007: You work with this guy? but your communicating through a 'pay' website?? wouldn't it be easier to get his e-mail address?? If he has to pay, everytime he wants to speak to you, he probably will give up fairly easy. Also if he's been away from work, ... (read in full...)
He's still living with his ex boyfriend, do we stand a chance?
Q. Dear Cupid For a long time I have really liked a man I went to school with, we got on well, he always flirted and I thought at the time it meant he liked me so asked him out. He declined me without much reason but carried on flirting. I...
A. 22 July 2007: It sounds like this guy has more issues than he can deal with right now. He cannot commit to you fully or even make you feel like you are number 1 in his life because he isn't sure what, or who he wants. He may say he has split from this guy he was ... (read in full...)
Can you get pregnant if he pulls out?
Q. I was wondering if you can get pregnant still if the guy withdraws before cuming? Does if matter if the stuff that comes out of a guys penis before he ejculates goes inside a girl? Will that get you pregnant? ...
A. 22 July 2007:
As the previous person replied, yes you can get pregnant if a guy pulls out. You are also exposing yourself to sexually transmitted diseases which are carried in seminal fluid (the cum)and also on the penis itself.
If you are gonna continue to ... (read in full...)
I accused her of cheating because she's always with my best mate; we broke up and I want her back
Q. i have just split up with my girlfriend because i accused her of cheating. we have been good friends for 4 years, and started seeing each other 4 months ago. i'm in the navy, so that means that i'm away all the time. we have the same group of ...
A. 22 July 2007: Hey There,
You said you've only been seeing this girl for four months, after knowing her for four years. I am assuming you have only been in a sexual relationship with her for the four months and in all honesty, this is not a long time. If she i... (read in full...)
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