I wonder where do I stand in all of this? My deep seated trust issues are affecting me.
Q. There is this guy friend of mine. This started when we were around 14-15 years old (well I will be 21 y/o this year). He was my friend, a good friend. We were actually acquaintenced since we were 7 years old (due to the fact we were in the same sch...
A. 28 July 2016: My guess is that you have been around women all your life so you are unsure how to be around men, but you need to learn to just be the same. Have your boundaries. Try going out to places where there is a mix of guys and girls and just practice ... (read in full...)
He avoids eye contact, it makes me angry!
Q. brief backstory was seeing a guy, became a push and pull relationship, i got sick of it and ended it. went no contact for about 6 weeks until he called to check in on me, saw him in person after that and he shook my hand and wouldn't make ey...
A. 27 July 2016: Well it is messing with your head isn't it? Weather he means to or not, you are on a forum wondering what to do about it, how it is making you angry, how you want to be friends, but you still have feelings for him, off course it is messing with your ... (read in full...)
He avoids eye contact, it makes me angry!
Q. brief backstory was seeing a guy, became a push and pull relationship, i got sick of it and ended it. went no contact for about 6 weeks until he called to check in on me, saw him in person after that and he shook my hand and wouldn't make ey...
A. 27 July 2016: I think you just need to ask him to stop calling you, don't re-add him on social media and then he will not be able to mess with your head anymore. ... (read in full...)
Is there anything wrong with liking and crushing for a cousin? My cousin is hot..
Q. so I have this problem i don't know if it wrong or not but , i knew i had a cousin, but never knew how she looked like. Later she went to my college and saw her , but i didn't know she was my cousin, and well nobody told me or showed me a picture ...
A. 26 July 2016: Just because you think that she is hot does not mean that you love her. Look there are plenty of women out there, so I think it is best to avoid being intimate with a member off your family it can cause a lot of complications. So unless she is a ... (read in full...)
Will a man automatically fancy a younger women than once closer to his age?
Q. Hello, I'm 37 years old and I fancy a guy of 45 who I suspect fancies me too. However, there is a pretty girl of 26 that also likes him. Will he automatically fancy her more because she is younger? When I found out she liked him I have been avoiding...
A. 26 July 2016: Well it depends, is this man very shallow? If he is 45 then he should be mature enough to know that there is more to a girl than her age and looks. Sweetie you need to have more confidence, so she is younger than you, that does not mean she is more ... (read in full...)
Should I ask him if he is messing about with his old flings?
Q. Hi everyone, I got back with my ex who promised he would like to have a serious relationship with me and would not mess with other gals again. My rule is he can have his friends but he can't cheat - just be honest and he is free to go. Don...
A. 26 July 2016: The thing is he has cheated on you before so it will be hard to trust him again after that. He has promised you that he won't mess around with other girls, but he is still going to events with a girl he cheated on you with? I am sorry sweetie, but ... (read in full...)
I wonder where do I stand in all of this? My deep seated trust issues are affecting me.
Q. There is this guy friend of mine. This started when we were around 14-15 years old (well I will be 21 y/o this year). He was my friend, a good friend. We were actually acquaintenced since we were 7 years old (due to the fact we were in the same sch...
A. 26 July 2016: You decided to forgive him? Sweetie he didn't do anything to be forgiven. He told you repeatedly that he liked you, you did not respond, you told him to move on and that is what he did. He done nothing wrong, it is almost like you got in a bad mood ... (read in full...)
How could I make things work? I love my cousin
Q. My cousin and i talk frequently by phone. We text and message each other a lot. I never experienced such love and comprehension for any man (not even my ex husband) like i do for him. I love him from the heart. But my feelings towards him are ...
A. 26 July 2016: You said your family have no problems with it so what is holding you back? Tell him how you feel, ask him does he want to date and ask him does he feel okay about it. If you are as close as you say you are, surely you can be open and honest with him ... (read in full...)
He avoids eye contact, it makes me angry!
Q. brief backstory was seeing a guy, became a push and pull relationship, i got sick of it and ended it. went no contact for about 6 weeks until he called to check in on me, saw him in person after that and he shook my hand and wouldn't make ey...
A. 26 July 2016: There really is not a huge amount that you can do about it, I can see where you are coming from, but ex's do not stay friends for a reason, at the minute it is new and he probably wants to try and remain friends with you but finds it hard to, he is ... (read in full...)
He avoids eye contact, it makes me angry!
Q. brief backstory was seeing a guy, became a push and pull relationship, i got sick of it and ended it. went no contact for about 6 weeks until he called to check in on me, saw him in person after that and he shook my hand and wouldn't make ey...
A. 25 July 2016: to be honest I think it is quite normal behavior once a relationship has ended, it is probably awkward for him, he cannot look you in the eye because he is not over you. It is simple really, he does not have to look at you over the phone so he can ... (read in full...)
How can I stop caring about what people say about me?
Q. This is a tough question as I have spend most of my young and early adult life caring about what people think- my life revolves around other people's opinions and how to be a people pleaser - most recently I have gotten a great corporate job and it ...
A. 25 July 2016: You should really just be yourself, we are all judged in life, there are a lot of people out there who gossip because well they have nothing better to do with there time, it will be you this week and someone else next week, that is how it is, ... (read in full...)
I'm in a committed relationship, so how do I stop thinking about a past love?
Q. Hello, I am at the age where everyone I know is getting engaged, married, having kids... I am in a serious relationship going on 3 years this September. I love him, I do, and we have talked about marriage. We live together, we have pets togeth...
A. 25 July 2016: In all honestly you may feel that you love your boyfriend, but if you still think about another man, well then I don't think it can work long term with your boyfriend, I really don't think he is the man that you want to marry, have children and grow ... (read in full...)
Was it heat of the moment, or serious?
Q. Brief description... My FWB and I bought feelings for each other. We have both been working a lot of conflicting hours. He asked me to be his and I thought it was a joke. We took FWB off the table. It can't work NSA if feelings are tied into it...
A. 25 July 2016: Okay so it sounds like his head is all over the place and he does not know what he wants. So he may have told you he loves you, but he is not prepared to actually show you. If this was me I would leave it in his court now. Tell him you are stopping ... (read in full...)
Should I bale from this new relationship?
Q. Hi, I am in a new relationship and my boyfriend has suddenly changed. He is not the sweet, caring guy that I got to know. He's become very withdrawn and hardly speaks to me via call or text, even in person! Though he is always on his phone when I...
A. 22 July 2016: Sweetie you are not going to get him back to who he was before, when he first met you he put on a show and you fell for it, he pretended to be a sweet nice guy, but now he is showing his true colors. From what you have said he has anger issues and ... (read in full...)
Job centre compliance officer meeting. Has anyone else ever been in the same situation? Think the ex may have maliciously tried to undermine me
Q. hi everyone im a single parent to 2 young children i split up with there dad as he was useless and didnt bother with them i received a letter from the dwp to go for a meeting at the local jobcentre in 2 weeks time it was from a compliance office...
A. 22 July 2016: If someone is not living with you, then they will soon find that out, if you are doing nothing wrong then please don't worry. I am sure the DWP often get calls from time wasters. If you are doing something wrong then sort it out quickly. If it is ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about my boyfriend's comment to his female friend?
Q. Should I be worried about my boyfriend's comment to his female friend?. They work in the same place. He did a shift before she started work. He had done something wrong and she had to sort the problem out. It was some mistake he made while working....
A. 22 July 2016: It sounds like banter to me. I used to work behind a bar, and well it is normal enough to have a laugh and a joke. I understand that you don't like them kind of jokes, but yes you are worrying over nothing. You are coming across as clingy and needy ... (read in full...)
Could this be the end of our marriage ?.
Q. I love my husband. We've been together for almost 15 years. We are in our late 30's now and don't have any kids (we both agree on that). We have weathered many storms (financial difficulties, moving away from our country of origin...) and s...
A. 22 July 2016: You have hit a rough patch at the moment, you are settled with what you have, and he is not. He suffers from anxiety and it is like he just wants to escape his life, he wants to sell and start somewhere new that is quiet and away from all his ... (read in full...)
Should I ask him what's happening, and if it's just sex?
Q. I started seeing a guy in September last year. We do work together and have done for a few years and always get on. Another colleague told me that this guy quite liked me so we started talking and went on a couple of dates and started seeing e...
A. 22 July 2016: He finished with you at the start of the year for some reason, he may not have told you why but there was obviously something that was stopping him from being with you. You remained friends which is great, but from what you have wrote it is clear to ... (read in full...)
Was it heat of the moment, or serious?
Q. Brief description... My FWB and I bought feelings for each other. We have both been working a lot of conflicting hours. He asked me to be his and I thought it was a joke. We took FWB off the table. It can't work NSA if feelings are tied into it...
A. 22 July 2016: You need to work on your confidence and self esteem, this guy told you he loved he, he shows you signs of love, he tells you he has feelings, but you keep on doubting him, because you wonder how can he love you? You need to learn to love yourself. ... (read in full...)
What needs to be done? I am so ashamed. Should I hold back from going into detail about all the online sites I visited?
Q. Hello! so I have this problem. I've been with my girlfriend for going on 6 months, I really and truly care for her. I've gotten close to not only her but her family! She left for Costa Rica a month ago and since then we are alright but my t...
A. 22 July 2016: I think when people have issues with Alcohol, something like this needs to happen in order for them to look at themselves and say this needs to stop. I am glad you have realized that, and I hope you stick to not drinking, it can be tough so make ... (read in full...)
How I get back to enjoying my favourite activity of fellatio, because currently, I gag when I try it ?
Q. Ok first is I have been with my fiance for going on 5 yrs, will get married in 2018. I have been previously married, and the reason I say this is I love the taste of cum. My previous husband was very sweet and tasted so good I can handle swallowi...
A. 21 July 2016: You are pregnant at the moment, so that may be the reason that you are gagging and being sick. It might be best not to do this when you are pregnant, as if you keep throwing up your baby might be missing out on those important nutrients from your ... (read in full...)
Haven't integrated into this new area. Should I move back home or stick it out?
Q. Hi, I moved to from one county to another to be with my boyfriend 9 months ago and I'm feeling a little lost. Since being here, i've found it hard to make freinds, mostly becuase I don't feel there's a great deal here that I want to get invol...
A. 21 July 2016: Have you spoke to your boyfriend about the way that you are feeling?
Have you tried looking for friends? You say there is not much in the area that interests you, what about your boyfriends friends? Do they have girlfriends? Maybe invite them for ... (read in full...)
What needs to be done? I am so ashamed. Should I hold back from going into detail about all the online sites I visited?
Q. Hello! so I have this problem. I've been with my girlfriend for going on 6 months, I really and truly care for her. I've gotten close to not only her but her family! She left for Costa Rica a month ago and since then we are alright but my t...
A. 21 July 2016: I think the real question here is do you think you will be happy in the relationship keeping it from her? If you do then that's okay carry on, but you strike me as the sort of person who will feel guilty and carry that on throughout the ... (read in full...)
No longer feel any love from him
Q. I fear I have been deceived by my current partner who chops and changes his mind with the wind. Possibly he has been under the influence of another person but when he is near me he doesn't like anything about me and then he expects me to love him...
A. 21 July 2016: My guess is that you do not trust your current partner? You think he is cheating, what has made you feel like this? He expects you to love him, but does he show you love? Does he make you feel loved? Or worthless? The thing is if you are not happy ... (read in full...)
How long to wait for a declaration of love?
Q. I've been dating this guy for 8 months and as I'm no spring chicken I've got to be economical with time. I've wasted too much in the past with an emotionally unavailable man. This one looked promising as we get on well and enjoy each other's ...
A. 21 July 2016: I totally understand where you are coming from, I would want to hear an ' I love you ' from my partner after being together 8 months. I would be left wondering why he has not told me. 8 months is a long time.
Here is the thing, maybe he does not ... (read in full...)
All my life I've considered myself unlucky! How do I change my negative mindset?
Q. I'm sorry for sounding depressive or if a lot of you simply can't answer me, I understand that I'm probably going to say a lot of stuff that can't be answered so all I can say is thank you for your time. All of my life I have considered mysel...
A. 21 July 2016: I think you should go and talk to a therapist about the issues that you are having. Maybe get booked in for some CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).
You are battling yourself here, you feel worthless, you need to gain more confidence, believe in y... (read in full...)
Can't seem to unite our family
Q. I've had this problem for a long time. I left my partner 10years ago and moved back to the UK from Scotland. I left with our hen10year old daughter and often wondered if I did the right thing. It was lonely n isolated there and I don't drive he ...
A. 21 July 2016: I am a little confused, you say you moved back to the UK from Scotland? But Scotland is in the UK with the same culture? No?
Anyway you made a huge decision ten years ago to move away with your daughter, at that time it must have been the right thin... (read in full...)
He's the brother I wished I had!
Q. Here is my story, For the past two years, I went on a mission trip with my church for a week. I got to know and see the good in people but there is someone special that I met. Last year, we started to get to know one another but this year, we hit i...
A. 21 July 2016: Sometimes it can be awkward when guys talk about there feelings at your age. If you feel you are close then that is great, it is nice to have a strong bond with someone. If you fear that it will be awkward then you don't really need to tell him, I ... (read in full...)
Family inddiference getting me down
Q. How do you deal with family members' indifference? I can't tell if I'm being too sensitive or not. It feels like members of my family don't care about me. At what point do you give up? I visit them at their houses, yet none of them have ever gone to ...
A. 21 July 2016: It is a horrible feeling to think that your family does not care about you, are you talking about your parents? Siblings? Or is it extended family? Maybe they just take your visits for granted, next time you visit, tell them you would love it if ... (read in full...)
Feeling trapped but afraid to leave and regret it.
Q. I feel like I am in a predicament. I am in a relationship of about a year and four months. We were friends a few years before getting together. Due to circumstances after a few months of us dating I moved in with him because I had nowhere else to ...
A. 20 July 2016: Sweetie your head is all over the place, but I really don't think this relationship would have been okay if nobody had come along and showing you some attention. The relationship you are in sounds like hard work, getting woken for sex during the ... (read in full...)
My partner lives in the old days!
Q. both me and my partner both work my partner thinks he lives in the old days thinks its down to the woman to do all the chores and dinner and gardening i feel this is very unfair he wants to get married and im undecided with way our relationship is ...
A. 20 July 2016: If you are both working full time, then the cooking and cleaning should be done equally. His attitude towards women is crap and it is not someone I would want a future with. Be honest with him about how you feel and hopefully he will compromise with ... (read in full...)
I'm hurt he doesn't want to get engaged! How do I sort this out?
Q. hi i recently seen a post about someones boyfriend will only get engaged cos she wants to i am in the same situation ive been with my boyfriend for 5 years now we have no children we went out for a meal last week with family and they asked us if we ...
A. 20 July 2016: Maybe he just does not see marriage in his future, plenty don't. You need to talk to him about this and tell him if it is a deal breaker for you or not. It doesn't mean he cares any less for you just because he doesn't want to get engaged. ... (read in full...)
Was he interested in me and did I screw something up or maybe he was just being friendly?
Q. While I am walking to sit down, I catch this guy staring at me. He does not look away once I catch him. He was on the computer doing his work, but once I came in, he was looking at me. I remember talking to my friend, who was with me, about a job ...
A. 20 July 2016: He has taking an interest to you that is for sure, I am not sure if it is romantically or else just as a friend, why do you feel you messed things up? I feel you are reading in to things to much. ... (read in full...)
I had a crush on my Teacher while at School. Should I tell him about that crush when we meet for a catchup?.
Q. I had a crush on my Teacher while at School. I recently came across his Facebook page and added him as a friend and we started chatting online. What have I been doing since I left School, (ten years ago). He is in his 50's now and still as han...
A. 20 July 2016: You could tell him, no harm in that, but it may make things very awkward indeed. Going for a drink with a former pupil doesn't seem like a normal thing to do, so maybe he has already got that impression from you, but really do you want to date ... (read in full...)
He's shy. Was he hinting towards going out together and wanted me to take the hint?
Q. This shy guy has a major crush on me. We don't talk much because he gets nervous talking to me. So One day while nervously talking to me he suddenly bring up the food topic ...telling me about his favorite Mexican food he gets from this Mexica...
A. 20 July 2016: Has he told you he has a major crush on you or are you just guessing about how he feels? If he is shy he will be nervous, I think you are reading to much in to this conversation. If you like him as him out, no need to play games.... (read in full...)
I feel he doesn't love me enough to get engaged, what do I do?
Q. Hiya everyone I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years now we have a 19 month old daughter together we have talked about getting engaged as we were discussing this yesterday my boyfriend said he doesn't want to get engaged but we will if I want to am ...
A. 20 July 2016: A lot of people when they move in together and have a child marriage goes out the window, a lot of people don't want to spend money on a wedding when they can use it for there child, I mean really what will change? You are living together and you ... (read in full...)
This girl keeps texting and ringing my boyfriend, what should we do?
Q. There's this girl who keeps ringing and texting my boyfriend. She rings him like 5 times a day no joke! But my boyfriend doesn't answer, she sent him a message the other day saying how they are meant to be friends and how friends don't ignore each ...
A. 20 July 2016: Why does he not just block her number? Probably because he is enjoying the attention. This girl is right in a way she has done nothing wrong to you, it is up to your boyfriend to speak up.... (read in full...)
Why am I such a loser at 41? Where have I gone wrong?
Q. I have posted a few times about individual problems and worries and have always received help from this forum. Instead of going to a therapist - and I did it 2 years ago - I'm here to ask you what I'm doing wrong. I am of Asian origin and was r...
A. 20 July 2016: You need to be a good person for yourself nobody else. Respect and love yourself, don't expect anything from others just because you behave a certain way. If you are forever giving then you attract people who will use you, don't give so easily. ... (read in full...)
What needs to be done? I am so ashamed. Should I hold back from going into detail about all the online sites I visited?
Q. Hello! so I have this problem. I've been with my girlfriend for going on 6 months, I really and truly care for her. I've gotten close to not only her but her family! She left for Costa Rica a month ago and since then we are alright but my t...
A. 19 July 2016: I think you are looking for us to say good on you for deciding to stop drinking, don't tell her what you done, because hey it was not you, it was the alcohol.
Look never use alcohol as an excuse for your behavior, you are the one that done this... (read in full...)
My close friends are saying he doesn't like me....what do you think ?
Q. I work for a big retail food company. I have a shy male supervisor who has a crush on me .He smiles at me and stares at me, notices little changes in me , gets jealous when guys talk to me gets all nervous and blushy around me but very talkativ...
A. 19 July 2016: I wonder why your friends don't think he likes you, could they see it from a different point of view that you are seeing it? How do you know he has a crush on you?
Either way it is up to you if you want to make a move or not, I think it is clea... (read in full...)
Were his family opposed to me? Or did he just want me for one thing? We broke up but he said we could still be FWB.
Q. Hi, I met this guy nearly 2 years ago, we were really good friends. He then became flirty with me and I had an attraction to him, but then he said we could just be fwb I guess I couldn't go through with this idea and we agreed to continue being fr...
A. 19 July 2016: Sweetie from the word go he mentioned FWB, that shows he did not look at you as potential wife material, did he like you? Yes he probably did, just not as his wife, him and his family want a girl who was raised muslim, so do not take that personal, ... (read in full...)
We bicker. He says he'll change but never does. How can I get him to communicate effectively?
Q. Hello, So I have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years and we have a beautiful 10 month old daughter together. She wasn't planned but she is the best thing to happen to us. So when we were about 6 months into the pregnancy we moved in toget...
A. 19 July 2016: Being in a relationship with someone and transitioning on to living with them can be two very different things. I honestly don't think you know someone until you have lived with them. Plus you where pregnant while you moved in together so it was all ... (read in full...)
FWB but getting emotionally attached
Q. Hi, i have a male best friend of 12 years who iv recently started sleeping with. We both don't want a relationship but i have found myself getting upset at the thought of him getting a girlfriend. I can't be with him because i know it wouldn't work ...
A. 19 July 2016: Going from a friend to a friend with benefits was your first mistake, you will probably never get back the friendship you both once had. Feelings are there now, a line has been crossed. If you want to try and save the friendship stop having sex with ... (read in full...)
I seem to have everything but why do I still feel down an out?
Q. I have been feeling rather down these last couple of weeks, and it seems as if it's turning into some depressive episode. What baffles me is that there really is no reason for me to feel this way because I live a pretty stress free life, aside from ...
A. 19 July 2016: you have the money, the dates, the looks, the lifestyle, but I think what you are missing is love. From the outside looking in your friends are jealous, they want what you have, no worries, no strings attached, while I think you want someone who is ... (read in full...)
Feeling trapped but afraid to leave and regret it.
Q. I feel like I am in a predicament. I am in a relationship of about a year and four months. We were friends a few years before getting together. Due to circumstances after a few months of us dating I moved in with him because I had nowhere else to ...
A. 19 July 2016: Why are you so sure he will keep the car? Do you think he is that spiteful? You need to sit down and talk to him about this. Tell him how you are feeling, tell him you are not getting sleep, and that you are wanting some space. Move in with your ... (read in full...)
Why am I such a loser at 41? Where have I gone wrong?
Q. I have posted a few times about individual problems and worries and have always received help from this forum. Instead of going to a therapist - and I did it 2 years ago - I'm here to ask you what I'm doing wrong. I am of Asian origin and was r...
A. 19 July 2016: Where are you going wrong? Well first off you should stop feeling sorry for yourself, plenty of marriages don't work out, but you can try again. Your first husband was arranged therefore you did not have the choice, it didn't work out and you built ... (read in full...)
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