A
female
age
51-59,
*loran14
writes:I've had this problem for a long time. I left my partner 10years ago and moved back to the UK from Scotland. I left with our hen10year old daughter and often wondered if I did the right thing. It was lonely n isolated there and I don't drive he could at times be difficult but I did love him. After we moved back our daughter quickly settled into school and liked it here. We went back every school hols and I always promised to come back but never did except for holidays. I fell pregnant 3 years after leaving and still carried on these back and forth trips. I had the baby in UK and he came back for the birth but left soon after. He can’t stand UK. I really wanted him to stay here with us. Our other daughter is now7 and I'm still going back and forth but he gets more and more angry with each visit as he wants her here and in that culture. I’m working here and see my mum every day in her nursing home. I’m just not sure what to do? I’m happy when I'm with him and life as a working single mum is tough. Both me and my daughter have health problems. He wants her more than me I think. I beg him to come here and he won’t. I help my other daughter with un pay my bills. I don't know what to do! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2016): Scotland part of UK, but there is a different culture, all the countries in UK have own distinct cultures.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2016): Scotland part of UK, but there is a different culture, all the countries in UK have own distinct cultures.
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A
female
reader, cloran14 +, writes (22 July 2016):
cloran14 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for the replies I certainly made me think about things
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2016): Focus on what makes your children happy, and you'll be happy. He seems to get on well getting you pregnant than staying put. Yes, he does want his daughter more than you. It's easy to visit and leave her with her mother when the visit is over. You've spoiled him. Saving him time, money, and the trouble of traveling back and forth. I know you've done it for the sake of your kids, but he has to show he'll go out of his way to see them; if he truly cares as you say.
You got pregnant yet again by a man who has no real affection for you, but tolerates you to see his daughters.
Yet he doesn't care enough for them to make a trip; because he doesn't like England. Well England is where his kids are. That should make the stay better, wouldn't you think?
Having another kid for him, didn't bring him any closer did it?
Get child-support for your children and stop struggling on your own; while dilly-dallying with that stooge. He's avoiding being where you are; because you might put the child-support authorities on his tail. Stay put. If he really loves his kids, he'll come to them. You're not taking the kids to see him strictly for their sake, it's for you own benefit. Knowing he won't come to you.
If you're struggling, you can't afford going back and forth between countries. Saving him the trouble, and keeping him out of reach of his financial responsibilities to his children. Sister, get on with it. Place some responsibility on the sperm-donor.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 July 2016):
 I am a little confused, you say you moved back to the UK from Scotland? But Scotland is in the UK with the same culture? No?
Anyway you made a huge decision ten years ago to move away with your daughter, at that time it must have been the right thing for you to do or else you never would have went through with it. If he made you feel lonely and isolated then that is not a good life, not for you or for your daughter, yes you may have loved him, but love is not always enough. You and your daughter settled in and you where happy so you should not doubt your decision. At least she still got to see her dad.
I can understand that you don't want to move where he is and vice versa. It is a tough decision to make, I do believe if you loved each other enough you would compromise. I can see why he is angry but you just need to be firm with him and tell him you are much happier living where you are and it is his decision if he wants to move to you or suggest something else. Off course you do not want to go back to an isolated life, it won't be any different this time around. I honestly think the best place for you and your daughters is where you are, surrounded by family and being able to see your mother whenever you can.
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