A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i have a male best friend of 12 years who iv recently started sleeping with. We both don't want a relationship but i have found myself getting upset at the thought of him getting a girlfriend. I can't be with him because i know it wouldn't work but the relationship we have now works so well, I'm just scared that if we don't spend as much time together and change the relationship we won't be as close and i'll loose him as a friend. what do i do!
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 July 2016):
 Going from a friend to a friend with benefits was your first mistake, you will probably never get back the friendship you both once had. Feelings are there now, a line has been crossed. If you want to try and save the friendship stop having sex with him and see how it goes, but if you carry on you won't be able to be friends, it just does not work that way after getting intimate.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 July 2016):
 IF you want to keep him as a friend you must cut out the "with benefits" part.
otherwise once he cuts you off from sex you will be destroyed and he will not be there to comfort you as he will be with his new love.
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A
male
reader, DarrellG +, writes (19 July 2016):
 You probably dont want to hear this but I think getting into this in the first place was a mistake - I understand wanting to take things to the next level with your friend but you have taken half a step in and now your getting invested. You cant have it all ways - if your exclusive FWB and hang out outside the bedroom your effectively in a relationship. If your a FWB you have no claim or right to stop him getting a girlfriend. How do you 'know it wouldnt work'? Can you predict the future?? What are his reasons for not wanting a relationship?? I doubt youd lose him as a friend if he got a girlfriend but I think it would hurt you and cause you alot of pain. All I can really suggest is you talk to him about this and find out what he's feeling, tell him how your feeling and take it from there.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (19 July 2016):
 If I were you, I would pause on the FWB until I could reset the relationship as a friendship. You're saying he's not on the same page with the romance, and even if he were, it wouldn't be a good relationship, so you know it's a doomed idea. Either keep him as a friend, or if you think even that will be too painful, end things altogether. If he's truly the F in FWB, he'll be cool with having things go back to the way they may have once been.
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