A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I am at the age where everyone I know is getting engaged, married, having kids... I am in a serious relationship going on 3 years this September. I love him, I do, and we have talked about marriage. We live together, we have pets together, we are essentially married in every sense of the way cept it actually happening. Our futures revolve around each other.But time to time, I think of someone else. I met a man who was 24 when I was 14, and he lit a fire in me that just will not die. I cannot explain it. I love my boyfriend but the love I feel towards this man that I only meet once a year, if that, will just not disappear. The best way I can explain it is that I feel this pull to him. Sometimes it even feels like I am betraying my boyfriend.It's exactly that - there's a fire in me that aches and acts up at the thought of him.He is getting married. I need to move on and get rid of this feeling, but am not sure how.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 July 2016):
 In all honestly you may feel that you love your boyfriend, but if you still think about another man, well then I don't think it can work long term with your boyfriend, I really don't think he is the man that you want to marry, have children and grow old with.
It is almost like you want what you cannot have, this man that you barely even know is getting married and you are day dreaming about him. Yes maybe he did light a fire in you, but if the boyfriend you have now does not make you feel the same then he is not the one for you, if he was well then he would have put that flame out. Three years is a long time to be together, don't waste your life with someone who is not Mr. Perfect for you.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (23 July 2016):
 Have you posted something similar before? I think someone questioned whether at your age everyone you knew was getting married as it seemed very young.
Currently a lot of young men in UK don't want to date let alone get married because girlfriends are just too much trouble. They would rather go for a drink and a laugh with the lads.
Perhaps you are in too much of a rush to settle down. You will have a long time together to regret your haste.
If you are still pining for a lost love then you aren't ready for a committed relationship. It isn't fair to use this man to get you over your achy breaky heart.
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