A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:There is this guy friend of mine. This started when we were around 14-15 years old (well I will be 21 y/o this year). He was my friend, a good friend. We were actually acquaintenced since we were 7 years old (due to the fact we were in the same school from 7 y/o till 15 y/o and my aunt had previously dated his older brother but broke up). Him and I ended up being in the same class when we were 13 y/o till I was 15 (before I ended up changing schools).Without further ado, he told me he liked me when we were 15 and being 15 at the time, I dismissed the idea of him completely. Being the kind of person who had a long time crush on another guy that I knew when I was 12. Then I moved schools and he continued to pursue me, even befriending my current new friends at the new school. Since 15 till we were 18 he would confess to me almost once every year.Fact it, I never responded to him, I never gave him an answer. There is this one time when he told me when were 18 that he liked me but he wrote this online. He wasn't directly telling me but he posted something like "Should I move on or just stay?" which to where I replied "Just move on." where soon after tomorrow, he got together with this girl that I never knew whom she is. it was so sudden, that I got annoyed at him, but we never did argue. It was more of a cold silent treatment between each other.I blocked him on all social media accounts, I know I shouldn't be mad and it is unfair for him to be treated this way (since I still had the same crush on this one guy when I was 12) but I felt betrayed and I felt like I have lost a friend. To be honest, I felt like my pride was inevitably crushed, he told me he liked me at one point but left me in another case which I felt like I was one of those easy girls, one of those girls that are easily replaced. I felt stupid in other words.So we stopped talking and this year we met again. He broke up with the girl he was with after my rejection in a year or so. Then he proceeded to like my friend (which I knew cause a friend of mine told me but that friend of mine didn't like him, so that how it goes.) Fast forward to when I'm 21 we met again at my brother's friend wedding. We didn't speak to each other tho and the day ended like that. The next day he added me back on social media and not long after asked me for my number.Right now, we're just talking as friends. I decided to forgive him and he told me he was sorry and I apologized too. We're starting a clean new slate. However, the way he is treating me now confuses me, which makes me question what sort of relationship we do have. He texts me almost everyday (I never text him and only responds when he does). He came to my house and would go to great lengths to meet me. He would come over my friends house without telling my friend because I was there. He would care for me when I was sick (I did not ask for this.) He would listen to my problems. He would still persist on bring near me (tho I wouldn't talk to him because I have no guts too when being near him). He knew that I didn't talk to him, wouldn't even look at him but he still told me that he glad he was able to come. He would use a picture of a cartoon I drew as his profile picture. The catch is, he never told me that he liked me but everyday he would always text me goodnight or just how was your day. I am very confused as of why is he doing this. I found this picture of a conversation he had with this junior of mine. He sounded VERY friendly in which if you had read the text, you would mistake them of dating. I am deeply disturbed by this fact. am I this one pit-stop that he goes by when things go wrong, am I a cheap person. I am trying my hardest to be kind, I don't want to have any bad ties with him. I wonder where do I stand in all of this? I've been thinking of disappearing on him, I can't stand the fact that I have deep rooted trust issues. I am 21 and I don't feel like playing child games and honestly speaking, I am not good at stuffs like this. Preferably stupid in another sense. and yes he keeps on texting me but after reading the conversation-wise I started ignoring him, as I was pretty amazed on how these things are.My friend told me he really liked me since he kept on finding me and such etc. since he liked me since were 15 but I can't trust anything. and I am at a loss on what is happening.
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broke up, cheap, crush, move on, text, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 July 2016):
 My guess is that you have been around women all your life so you are unsure how to be around men, but you need to learn to just be the same. Have your boundaries. Try going out to places where there is a mix of guys and girls and just practice having conversations with men, the more you practice hopefully the more you will feel confident.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2016): The question is do you like him more than a friend? He has done nothing but be a decent and considerate guy to you. If he is dating someone else,so what? You rejected him before, and now don't initiate contact or anything. All is coming from his side.
Neither your gestures nor past actions spell that you are interested in him. So what exactly do you want him to do? Wait forever for someone that isn't interested?
If you want to be more than friends, tell him.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (26 July 2016):
You decided to forgive him? Sweetie he didn't do anything to be forgiven. He told you repeatedly that he liked you, you did not respond, you told him to move on and that is what he did. He done nothing wrong, it is almost like you got in a bad mood because you felt he should wait for you forever and not like anybody else, I am sorry but that is selfish off you if you where not interested in him.
Now fast forward to now, you are both friends again, but for some reason you want him to chase you again, do you actually like this guy and want to be with him? Or is it just the attention you want from him? Reading your post my guess is that he has liked you a long time, but he is probably talking to other girls because well he doesn't think you like him, and well who would blame him.
My advice is if you like this guy tell him and if you don't then stop messing him around, stop ignoring him and just tell him you don't want to be friends any more.
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