A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This is a tough question as I have spend most of my young and early adult life caring about what people think- my life revolves around other people's opinions and how to be a people pleaser - most recently I have gotten a great corporate job and it was going great and still is except for one thing - most of my colleagues are gossipers- men and women - we are all mid to late 20"s And I have tried to play the role of the girl that is a great mixer and tries to fit in but it's exhausting. I feel like I'm being watched and judged all the time when I'm on the phone with clients. How can I get over this?? I can't stop being a people pleaser because I fear I'm gonna loose my job because if I don't fit in with the right people I might loose it- but this is exhausting -this also goes in my personal life also it's also exhausting - how can I change? Is too late I'm 28 Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 July 2016):
 You should really just be yourself, we are all judged in life, there are a lot of people out there who gossip because well they have nothing better to do with there time, it will be you this week and someone else next week, that is how it is, especially in office work. Be friendly, do not join in with them when they are gossiping, be professional and do your work and you will not lose your job, trying to be a people pleaser and trying to get on with everyone is exhausting and believe me they will pick up on that and use that against you as well, so be yourself.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 July 2016):
 I doubt you would lose your job is you don't fit in with a bunch of 20's somethings... unless THEY are actually running the company. Even if they are, it's not high-school but a company.
Do your job to the BEST of your ability, BE professional, BE polite and courteous and honestly? STOP engaging in gossip.
It might BE that you are watched and judged, WE all ARE to an extend. You need to start snapping yourself out of it EVERYTHING a thought about "being judged" pops into your head - say to yourself (in your head) SO what?! and move on. Learn NOT to dwell on it. Now if someone criticize your work, and you KNOW it wasn't up to snuff, TAKE it in think it over and learn from it. But the general stuff you think they are judging you on, like clothing, hair whatever LEARN to not sweat the small stuff.
And lastly, LEARN to say no. People who are NOT people-pleasers are usually good at spotting and taking advantage OF the ones that are. Like you.
It's not too late. YOU just have to start making an effort, because there is no magic fix for it.
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