A
female
age
30-35,
*ancerGirl09
writes:My ex broke up with me like 4 weeks ago. It was such a hurtful break up that I kept questioning myself what went wrong in our 5 year relationship. The love, the mental, physical, and emotional aspects were there too but maybe they were to me and not to him. Anyways he found a new girlfriend right away which this leads me to believe that he has been chatting with her while we were together because you can't just find someone right away. I am not Facebook friends with her but my friends are and the things he does for her is ridiculous. He has already taking her out to all the restaurants we went to, he has already purchased flowers for her that said I love you on the balloon and he continues to purchase flowers for her and send them to her job(friends just saw it on facebook today) and shops for her. Why is he doing all of this right away for her? Doesn't she feel stupid as a girl to because of what he's doing and how much hes shopping for her. It hasn't even been a month and why is he doing all of this for her? What do you guys think what does it mean when a guy's basically buying out his friendship and love for someone? Meanwhile we were together for five years and he stopped doing all this for me and told me that he had money issues but meanwhile he's going out and doing all this with her it hurts so much. I don't see no money issues here if you're going out to dinner almost every night and buying her stuff
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female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (9 September 2012):
 He has dumped you, so it was his decision to end the relationship, not yours. It's always different when you're on the receiving end, then the one dishing it.
The fact that he is in a relationship with someone after a month, professing his love for her and all, simply means that he was talking to her before he broke it off with you. Many, MANY people will shop around, flirt and strike up a relationship with somebody, realize they would rather be with that person than their current significant other, and then they end the relationship and start a new one with their new love interest. I like to refer to it as swapping. Most people don't want to be single, moping around the house after a heartbreak. It's better to have someone already in line waiting for you. A new person means no reflecting on the past and wondering what went wrong, reminiscing about the good times and being miserable. Instead you get the excitement of a new relationship.
He basically knew he wasn't going to be with you forever. But he did like your company, the sex you offered and your affection. In the meantime, he found your replacement and when he was sure he preferred her to you, the dumped you. Think on that in case you ever entertain the idea of trying to get back into his life.
A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx  +, writes (9 September 2012):
 Look, sometimes when someone breaks up with another person, they do go straight to the next person, and use it as a form of coping with the fact they have just come out of a relationship.
Recently i have been in that position, me and my boyfriend broke up about a month ago, and within that month i found another guy, who at the time seemed to care about me and i got with him.
It was a mistake, simply because i wasn't ready for another relationship and it was most definitly more of a kind of "rebound relationship thing.
For me, that was my way of coping going straight ahead, and finding someone, partly because i didn't want to be on my own, and secondly because i felt almost like i wanted someone to flaunt off to my ex just to kind of stay in a bit of competition with him at "who was doing better in life sicne we left eachother".
This could be the same for your ex too, this could be his way of coping and not feeling alone, or his way of maybe trying to show to everyone hes doing fine with out you, even if he isnt.
And let me speak from knowing about what this situation is like, i had absoultly no feelings for the person who i got with after my ex when i was with my ex. He said the same, that i must of had some sort of feelings for him, but it wasn't true, things change when you have just come out of a relationship and you want a shoulder to cry on.
Also if this is a rebound relationship, then i wouldn't worry as it probably won't last.
However, i wouldn't worry about all this, sometimes even if things seemed perfect at one point relationships just can fade with time, like friendships too. Its nobodys fault so please stop thinking its your fault. Things like this happen and its simply because time changes people.
You need to move on, and stop obessing over this new gf, and checking up on facebook is the worst way, because things can get misinterupted and can turn even obsessive.
If he wants to show you how much better he can do then why don't you go ahead and do the same.
Be strong, and find the strenght inside you to carry on and be willing to let go of something that just didn't work.
I am sure you can find somebody better than him, because theres plenty of people out there :)
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 September 2012):
 He has moved on, and you have not.
You should emotionally detach from him once and for all, then it'll be you enjoying being with a guy who's into you.
You're so wrapped up in that he's enjoying his freedom that you've forgotten that you're set free too! You must fill that void in your heart, go enjoy life.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (9 September 2012):
 You broke up and there ended the relationship. Why are you still following his every move and trying to decode what he's doing? How does it matter to you? You have to move on and not cling to his memories. He didn't care about you and you shouldn't give a damn about him either.
Let him do what he wants, block him completely from your life and ask your friends not to give you any further updates about him. The more you ponder about his every move, the more difficult it will be for you to start the healing process. Come on OP, you're a big girl, just shove him aside and take things in your stride. There's more to life than crying over a heartless ex.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2012): "Why is he doing all of this right away for her?"So he can get keep getting laid regularly and frequently. "Doesn't she feel stupid as a girl to because of what he's doing and how much hes shopping for her."That depends on how much she knows about you and ex's relationship; if she knows ex is four weeks out of a five-year relationship then she shouldn't feel as stupid for falling into bed with a guy right away than she should if she knows he was actively cheating on you with her before he dumped you (a likely scenario), because in that case she should be samrt enough to know he's capable of doing the exact same thing to her, "It hasn't even been a month and why is he doing all of this for her?" Besides getting laid regularly, he probably knows you well enough to know it's the best way to piss you off and/or stomp on your heart.As pinktopaz asks, why do you care? Reacting this way is playing exactly into his hands, like exactly as he wanted and planned. Show some dignity and self-respect for yourself and let it go. Sorry you wasted five years of your life on a scumbag but chalk it up to experience and move on. That will REALLY ^^^s him off!!!!!
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (9 September 2012):
Who cares? You're not with him anymore. Tell your friends to quit updating you as to what he's doing for her because it's clearly making you upset. He's moved on and you should too.
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